Women???

[Sing4him]

Fellers,

I find it hard to converse with women, even with not jerking or watching porn, I just find it hard to start conversations with em. I'm a shy, introverted guy, full nerd!

On like 4 or 5 dating apps, none of which I get messages on, even if I've sent messages to girls on them.

I am in church, involved in a young adult group, but no girls have caught my eye, the ones that might have, have kind made it clear that their not interested...

Whats a dude to do???

 

[aquarius25]

Is it that you have a difficult time talking with them period or just when your interested? If its the first then just don't think of them as women but rather people. If its the later than don't try to pick up women. Focus on doing the things you love to do. The right person will come along who shares your common interests. You will naturally form a friendship and it can go from there. As long as you are out engaging with people (not women specifically) then you are bound to meet someone. No pressure. The more you over think it the more difficult it will be. If your a nerd do nerd stuff! Go to comicon ( amazing), so to game store that have rooms where you can play communal games, be out doing the things you love to do. Then when you find a girl you like you will know that she shares your interests and you will already have something to talk about.
Good Luck! Hope that helps.

 

[Crystal]

Fellers,

I find it hard to converse with women, even with not jerking or watching porn, I just find it hard to start conversations with em. I'm a shy, introverted guy, full nerd!

On like 4 or 5 dating apps, none of which I get messages on, even if I've sent messages to girls on them.

I am in church, involved in a young adult group, but no girls have caught my eye, the ones that might have, have kind made it clear that their not interested...

Whats a dude to do???

Hello InChrist,

If you're looking for ways to start conversations and improve your communication skills, I'd recommend these:

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray
When you have time to do some browsing, search "conversation starters", and make a list of your favorites.
Instant Persuasion by Laurie Puhn
The Temperament God Gave You by Art and Laraine Bennett
Go to your library and check out their joke section--you can also set time to search for favorites online.
Get involved in group activities that involve facilitated discussion, like book discussion or Bible study groups.
Volunteer in your community.

If you're looking for ways to get conversations on dating apps, re-examining the impression you're giving is key. There are tons of amazing articles online, just do some browsing. Take a look at your profile picture, how you're describing yourself, the best things to say in a first message, re-check your grammar and make sure you have your contact info listed in your description if it's not a free app. I can give you more specifics if you'd like.

If you're just worried about being single, I'd encourage you to embrace it! Personally, I feel called to the single life, and one book I found to be a fantastic read in this regard was "Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent " by Judy Ford. But if you want to have a relationship eventually, use this time to prepare. Study the common psychological differences found between men and women, learn about what keeps a marriage from ending in divorce, deepen your prayer life, work on your flaws, learn about managing money, spend time with young children, develop a career. Furthermore, take this opportunity to do things that will be harder after kids arrive. Travel, volunteer, take community classes, graduate from college. Have fun, be your best-self and nerd out!

I hope these suggestions helped, good luck!

 

[getagrip]

Hi There... I'm a lot older than you (66) but I share some of your problems. I have done some reading on what women find attractive in a man, and the one characteristic that keeps coming up is confidence. You might not be feeling very confident right now but we introverts can be confident, too! Introverts have a lot going for them, including traits that I'm sure many women find attractive, such as thoughtfulness, intelligence, calmness, etc. So let's embrace our introversion, while at the same time acquiring tools to boost our self-confidence. The internet is full of books, articles, and videos about how to boost confidence.

Good luck!

 

[Sing4him]

Hi There... I'm a lot older than you (66) but I share some of your problems. I have done some reading on what women find attractive in a man, and the one characteristic that keeps coming up is confidence. You might not be feeling very confident right now but we introverts can be confident, too! Introverts have a lot going for them, including traits that I'm sure many women find attractive, such as thoughtfulness, intelligence, calmness, etc. So let's embrace our introversion, while at the same time acquiring tools to boost our self-confidence. The internet is full of books, articles, and videos about how to boost confidence.

Good luck!

Guess it just comes from not having had a relationship, that the longer I go without having one, the harder it seems to me that it will happen. I am involved in a young adult ministry, go to church, involved in two bible studies (one just for dudes though), and I do talk w/ people at a young adult service on Tuesdays (tonight in fact)!

Thank you for the insight though.

IC