hey there. First: good job pulling your butt out of that dark depression hole. I have bin in there many times. I still can remember when the first girl I was really in love with broke up with me after two years of relationship and after meeting with me to "talk" - I was so desperate to get anything from her that even resembled affection, just couldn't let go of her - she told me how she had sex with two other guys. This broke me, totally. I was so down, drinking, bingeing on everything i could. I just fixated myself on that woman - nothing else was important for me. This moodset I kept for like 3 Month. I did lots of sport - kinda like now ;D during withdrawl - and after a while I didn't feel the need to thikn about her anymore. I may not have been suicidal then but I certainly was dragging everybody around me into my dark hole. ....well.....things changed. Another two month later I had my final exams, signed up for civil service and just lived my life. It was probably the most splendid time of my life. I felt just free, without sorrow. This kind of thing now has happened more often - since I got older..... And I have to say: It made me wiser, stronger and more aware of myself. I dark times one has to use all of the remaining strenght just to keep the head over water - resulting in being tougher. It may be more emotional than a no PMO challenge - and more difficult. But there is no need to end your life because of this. You are stronger after climbing back up. Suicide is but a fluke, a method of last resost in order to flee from reality. It only creates problems for the ones that love you. But by staying alive, learning and accepting life's lessons you might just be the one to be free eventually, without fear of loss, without fear of loneliness. If everything breaks down around you you still have what you gathered until now - which can't be nothing! And since there is something It also is a reason to life. Don't give up! pull yourself together and get over it. You can do it!
