Hello all, I have been in and out of this site for a year now.
I have developed a porn addiction and its ruining my life. I have made movements towards recovery obviously coming to the realisation and acceptance I have a problem. Its a.regular pattarn of recovery for a week or two and then back to relapse and my addiction has been with me for a long time the porn I look at has developed into more extreme fetishes and tabboo which frankly makes me feel disgusted. And causes me a large amount anxiety and worry.
When the cycle of recovery to relapse happens I will binge for a few days and then hit the point where im then watching that material I hate and it normally makes me come back on here or start recovery again. I am interested in alot of things in my life which could lead to a career. But I feel so seperated from the world when I feel like this ( after relapse ) . Im so sick and tired of failing over and over again and I need to figure out what I can do to finally cure this. Ive recently accepted that my addiction is not anything to do with the porn itself its my brain that is the issue. If it wasnt porn it would be something else I have a very addictive nature. But the hurdle I cant seem to jump is when I have a trigger to relapse all the things I know and say to myself everyday about staying in recovery just dissapears. Like my brain shuts all those reasons out and the justification for acting out are so prominent they cant be ignored.
I feel on the brink of success not just in addiction but life itself but this is stopping me. This is making me depressed. Anxious. Sad. Worried. And I feel seperated from the world. So here I am again. On this wacky rollorcoaster of recovery and I would love some feedback and advise on what I can do when I trigger to be able to abstain.
Thanks for reading
Peace
I have developed a porn addiction and its ruining my life. I have made movements towards recovery obviously coming to the realisation and acceptance I have a problem. Its a.regular pattarn of recovery for a week or two and then back to relapse and my addiction has been with me for a long time the porn I look at has developed into more extreme fetishes and tabboo which frankly makes me feel disgusted. And causes me a large amount anxiety and worry.
When the cycle of recovery to relapse happens I will binge for a few days and then hit the point where im then watching that material I hate and it normally makes me come back on here or start recovery again. I am interested in alot of things in my life which could lead to a career. But I feel so seperated from the world when I feel like this ( after relapse ) . Im so sick and tired of failing over and over again and I need to figure out what I can do to finally cure this. Ive recently accepted that my addiction is not anything to do with the porn itself its my brain that is the issue. If it wasnt porn it would be something else I have a very addictive nature. But the hurdle I cant seem to jump is when I have a trigger to relapse all the things I know and say to myself everyday about staying in recovery just dissapears. Like my brain shuts all those reasons out and the justification for acting out are so prominent they cant be ignored.
I feel on the brink of success not just in addiction but life itself but this is stopping me. This is making me depressed. Anxious. Sad. Worried. And I feel seperated from the world. So here I am again. On this wacky rollorcoaster of recovery and I would love some feedback and advise on what I can do when I trigger to be able to abstain.
Thanks for reading
Peace