liberationforever
Member
Hi everyone. This is the only place in the world where we can discuss about porn addiction as much as we want. No one wants to like to talk about it here, even the phychatrists here. Yes people i live in India , in a conservative family, we dont talk anything related to sex(safe sex included) in family. But I got internet(really slow one) back in 2005. Though i bought CDs which were widely available in shady areas of city. I would cycle 8-9 kms to buy one as a 13 year old and sometime cycle back to exchange that because would come out to be Indian Porn which i din't like.So that explains my love for porn the day i discovered it was the day my interest in girls started to decline. I just waited to go back home and fap. It was just the most pleasurable thing i had in life.Then came slow internet. I downloaded small vids and look for pics to fap. Sometimes for hours.Till my parents returned from office in evening. I had started losing friends by now and had no interest in making new ones. But then came the real deal i had been waiting for so long. The high speed internet. Soon discovered tube sites and then you know what happen, you start going in downward spiral, mind learns about new fantacies, about how enjoyable they are, vannila porn starts becoming boring, the time you are not fapping, you use your imagination for new keywords that will probably give an explosion of dopamine and use the new discovery for few days and then become bored of it and start looking for new stuff. The cycle never ends, until you quit the habit completely.
Last year i decided to quit tobbcaco, and internet helped me a lot in that.And then in found YBOP and decided to quit porn too and make my life addiction free. I succeeded. My life changed .Confidence , self esteem, need for hygine and interset in finding a girl came to me at the age of 23. Really felt like i am climbing the ladder now. Sadly i slipped the ladder and returned to same place. Fapping and tobbaco at same time(gave me huge high). My confidence with girls was not gone. Because now i knew that girls like me and i am a handsome 6'4 guy ( Earlier i thought that girls dont like me, boy i was wrong, guilt was inside me). Anyway, but porn make you stuck where you are, you simply stop growing. So here i am , writing a journal for first time. I am on day-6 today. I have gone through the process once and now i know what to expect, some loss in libodo(some days zero libodo too), Unhappyness, cravings, etc. Though i wanna quit tobacco too. But i think that would be too much and i will fail in both.
Today i decided to start writing because, i was very fed up today and for me i know if i relapse, it can be some months before I decide to quit again. I am not feeling cravings for porn but my body and mind are cying for pleasure, all other activities seem dull. songs dont feel good, girls dont feel inviting. Seems like life is moving and i am just stuck here, fighting with my own mind, which is saying "Come on why do you chose to be so unhappy, when you can fap and make everthing normal". But i know now , what normal really is, so i am gonna keep on fighting.Sorry, i am not in a state of giving motivation to someone else.But , i know , that things are gonna start changing in 1-1.5 months. So, it is really better option to keep climbing the ladder one step a day.After sometime you go on climbing the ladder without even thinking about it. Good luck to me and everyone here. Din't really knew that so many people have this problem till i stumbled upon this site.Good bye for now.
Last year i decided to quit tobbcaco, and internet helped me a lot in that.And then in found YBOP and decided to quit porn too and make my life addiction free. I succeeded. My life changed .Confidence , self esteem, need for hygine and interset in finding a girl came to me at the age of 23. Really felt like i am climbing the ladder now. Sadly i slipped the ladder and returned to same place. Fapping and tobbaco at same time(gave me huge high). My confidence with girls was not gone. Because now i knew that girls like me and i am a handsome 6'4 guy ( Earlier i thought that girls dont like me, boy i was wrong, guilt was inside me). Anyway, but porn make you stuck where you are, you simply stop growing. So here i am , writing a journal for first time. I am on day-6 today. I have gone through the process once and now i know what to expect, some loss in libodo(some days zero libodo too), Unhappyness, cravings, etc. Though i wanna quit tobacco too. But i think that would be too much and i will fail in both.
Today i decided to start writing because, i was very fed up today and for me i know if i relapse, it can be some months before I decide to quit again. I am not feeling cravings for porn but my body and mind are cying for pleasure, all other activities seem dull. songs dont feel good, girls dont feel inviting. Seems like life is moving and i am just stuck here, fighting with my own mind, which is saying "Come on why do you chose to be so unhappy, when you can fap and make everthing normal". But i know now , what normal really is, so i am gonna keep on fighting.Sorry, i am not in a state of giving motivation to someone else.But , i know , that things are gonna start changing in 1-1.5 months. So, it is really better option to keep climbing the ladder one step a day.After sometime you go on climbing the ladder without even thinking about it. Good luck to me and everyone here. Din't really knew that so many people have this problem till i stumbled upon this site.Good bye for now.