Relapsed Like a Ton of Bricks

[nofapado]

Three days ago I relapsed and was on a three bender. I'm tired and sore. The storm has past now. But it really hurts. Lust is a power force. And porn is a lust pump. Nothing to mess with. It's time to get involved here.

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ nofapado

Three days ago I relapsed and was on a three bender. I'm tired and sore. The storm has past now. But it really hurts

It does hurt. don't run away from that pain, let it sink in and truly understand why you are feeling that way.... because of pmo-ing. Dust yourself off and keep truckin, as you will need to learn from this to make you stronger.

Understand that what just took place over the last few days did not satisfy you. Most importantly, think about that going without porn and rebooting is going to lead to you experiencing more joy than you ever would with porn.

We are here for you. We believe in you.

 

[OldHornyGuy]

Hey Man,

Good for you to realize that you can start over again, because you can!

One small suggestion, redo your counter for a shorter goal.  After a relapse, 90 days can seem like forever and a day.  Let's get some success.  Maybe set your goal for a week.  Celebrate something and set your goal a bit longer after that.

Peace and Stay Strong!

 

[HoosierState]

Yup get back on the no fap horse and keep riding.

You can do it.  I agree with OHG - you should set your counter to a lower number.  You need to hit some goals, however small to get some confidence back.

Good luck.  We're here for you.

 

[nofapado]

Hey Man,

Good for you to realize that you can start over again, because you can!

One small suggestion, redo your counter for a shorter goal.  After a relapse, 90 days can seem like forever and a day.  Let's get some success.  Maybe set your goal for a week.  Celebrate something and set your goal a bit longer after that.

Peace and Stay Strong!

Thanks for the good advice. I given that suggestion myself many times. I've be at this for awhile at YBR reaching 84 days and 86 days. I can make it 30, 60 plus days that's not the problem.  I believe that setting incremental goals is good for somebody starting out. That has been a helpful tool. Beside I'm not paying too much attention to the counter.  The forums are a little too centered around the counter. It is the counter culture. It really doesn't matter whether one is P free 1 or 1000 days, what matter is whether one has peace, love and happiness. I was actually contemplating setting my goal to the next life but that is too short also. I'm too disgusted with porn right now to thing about a goal. A slip at any  point is too disruptive to think about. Grandiose promises after a relapse are common. I'm trying to avoid that. But this shit is really getting old.

 

[HoosierState]

Sounds like you got a grip on it Nofapado (pun intended).  I see you feeling better once you get some distance and then you'll be back to your normal self.

I think what I take out of this is that we are never free from PMO.  Since we're wired to consume and enjoy it, it can always creep back.

I am wondering if you relapsed because you were curious if you still had total control over it (and you got bit)?

 

[nofapado]

Sounds like you got a grip on it Nofapado (pun intended).  I see you feeling better once you get some distance and then you'll be back to your normal self.

I think what I take out of this is that we are never free from PMO.  Since we're wired to consume and enjoy it, it can always creep back.

I am wondering if you relapsed because you were curious if you still had total control over it (and you got bit)?

There was no  conscious decision to view out of curiosity. It was a compelling urge to see nudity. Very powerful. I've decided to cut way back on alcohol consumption during this reboot. Drinking if at all only socially. For years I have studied and practiced yoga and dabbled in buddhism. Both practices ask one to refrain from alcohol. Perhaps I have deluded myself from thinking that I  don't need to abide by that. It all seems to be related now. In the past it seemed that trying to stop too much at once could be overwhelming. But I'm ready now. I've also decided that I will make sure I regularly spend at least some time each morning meditation.  The interesting think about the relapse was that it was with a degree of awareness but no self control. It was a learning process. I ready to move on. Thanks for the replies. You comments were helpful.

 

[HoosierState]

Sounds like a good plan.  I drank heavier than usual with friends the last two weekends.  Both times I slid backwards a bit (edging) and just felt like crap physically the next day.  When I was drinking, if options had presented themselves, I would have most likely chosen poorly.  All thanks to being lit.  The result for me is not good when my mood is kinda somber due to not having a mate currently and missing the old one.  I'm definitely not doing a boozy repeat this weekend.

 

[SO Reboot Partner]

So good to see you posting here. I look forward to learning from the discussion and your continued recovery.

 

[nofapado]

So good to see you posting here. I look forward to learning from the discussion and your continued recovery.

Thanks for the encouragement SO RP.

I'm at the point where my functioning is returning to normal after a reboot. It usually takes three nights before things start to feel normal again. It is become clear how significant it is to cut back on the alcohol. My wife and I would have wine almost every night. I would get a little buzz going almost every night. It became to much of a habit. I stopped. It's not going to be easy. But I think it's important for the reboot. Instead I've decided to add some good stuff. I've really stepped up the exercise routine and am meditating more often. This reboot feels really good this time. Not because I'm stopping porn again, that part feels boring and frustrating but because the positive parts of the reboot.

So brothers and sisters have a good and healthy weekend.