BuddhaAwake
Active Member
Last night around 9:00 pm I got the familiar anticipation itch to PMO. When I went to bed I tried MO but could not get an erection. I tried P but with no results. What I?ve read about the torturous life of women in porn might have turned me off, or my decision to abstain from P might have left me with no physical or mental charge. I think 6 days was probably too soon to be flat-lining, or is it?
Anyway, I lay there in bed in an instantly foul mood- irritation building to near rage. I tried to distract myself by playing Facebook Gin Rummy against other players, but whether I won or lost my mood just worsened.
Around 4:00 am I quit playing and removed the app from my tablet. I think I've been addicted to that videogame.
I went downstairs and watched a movie I?d saved on DVR- Confessions of a Nazi Spy. It turned out to be rather boring and I felt sleepy. While lying on the sofa, not touching myself (and there were NO pretty women in the movie), I got an erection harder than I?ve had in months. I tried M but could not O. I?ve decided that I really need to do the strict 90 days at least.
I have been diagnosed Bipolar and anxiety, and my depression and anxiety are worse today. Still, I accomplished most of the things on my to-do list for today.
I regret having slipped, but I feel a learned an important lesson from it, and am committed to the 90 days again.
I wish the tracker app was working to create new counters. The message says they are still aware of the problem creating new counters.
Anyway, I lay there in bed in an instantly foul mood- irritation building to near rage. I tried to distract myself by playing Facebook Gin Rummy against other players, but whether I won or lost my mood just worsened.
Around 4:00 am I quit playing and removed the app from my tablet. I think I've been addicted to that videogame.
I went downstairs and watched a movie I?d saved on DVR- Confessions of a Nazi Spy. It turned out to be rather boring and I felt sleepy. While lying on the sofa, not touching myself (and there were NO pretty women in the movie), I got an erection harder than I?ve had in months. I tried M but could not O. I?ve decided that I really need to do the strict 90 days at least.
I have been diagnosed Bipolar and anxiety, and my depression and anxiety are worse today. Still, I accomplished most of the things on my to-do list for today.
I regret having slipped, but I feel a learned an important lesson from it, and am committed to the 90 days again.
I wish the tracker app was working to create new counters. The message says they are still aware of the problem creating new counters.