Hi,
It has been many weeks i didn't write a post here. Well, it's because i was so ashamed, disappointed about my relapse.
On June 21th, i started my first journal and titled it : " Ultimate New start ". I was doing well and progressing in a good and satisfying manner. and finally reached my ultimate goal : 90 days !
6 days after that, i had a very difficult week-end : hard urges and sexual thoughts all the time, thinking about relapsing ... Finally, while surfing on the internet, i accidentally opened a window with some naked pictures .. then i relapsed .. i pmo'ed .
it only lasted 3 to 5 minutes. But, i was really feeling bad for relapsing and restarsting my counter from 0.
So my record was 96 Days !
I decided to take it positevely and not to mention it in my journal and continue my journey in order to reach maybe 6 months with only one relapse.
But that was my mistake, 3 weeks after that i relapsed again .. and three weeks after the second relapsed i relapsed again ..
I just came back to my normal pace .. as i explained in my first journal , i usually abstain from PMO for 2 to 3 weeks, then i relapse due to urges .. The last time ( 3th relapse after my 96 days streak ) was one week ago .
One hour ago , while surfing again on instagram i found out a page with pretty triggering stuff and my heart started to beat faster, my brain calling me to relapse again .. the same old cycle ..
Well , i remembred this forum and yourbrainonporn. Within 30 minutes of reading some posts, i decided not to relapse and to resume my journey. I also understood that it was my mistake. i should have never stopped reading articles here and posts here .
It's the only way to keep being motivated ! in addition to the counter !
So i decided to start again, and i fix a fisrt goal of : 30 Days !!
Wish me good luck as i do for everyone
It has been many weeks i didn't write a post here. Well, it's because i was so ashamed, disappointed about my relapse.
On June 21th, i started my first journal and titled it : " Ultimate New start ". I was doing well and progressing in a good and satisfying manner. and finally reached my ultimate goal : 90 days !
6 days after that, i had a very difficult week-end : hard urges and sexual thoughts all the time, thinking about relapsing ... Finally, while surfing on the internet, i accidentally opened a window with some naked pictures .. then i relapsed .. i pmo'ed .
it only lasted 3 to 5 minutes. But, i was really feeling bad for relapsing and restarsting my counter from 0.
So my record was 96 Days !
I decided to take it positevely and not to mention it in my journal and continue my journey in order to reach maybe 6 months with only one relapse.
But that was my mistake, 3 weeks after that i relapsed again .. and three weeks after the second relapsed i relapsed again ..
I just came back to my normal pace .. as i explained in my first journal , i usually abstain from PMO for 2 to 3 weeks, then i relapse due to urges .. The last time ( 3th relapse after my 96 days streak ) was one week ago .
One hour ago , while surfing again on instagram i found out a page with pretty triggering stuff and my heart started to beat faster, my brain calling me to relapse again .. the same old cycle ..
Well , i remembred this forum and yourbrainonporn. Within 30 minutes of reading some posts, i decided not to relapse and to resume my journey. I also understood that it was my mistake. i should have never stopped reading articles here and posts here .
It's the only way to keep being motivated ! in addition to the counter !
So i decided to start again, and i fix a fisrt goal of : 30 Days !!
Wish me good luck as i do for everyone