Social isolation, visiting hookers of PMO for 120+ days

[Paddrecon]

Hello guys,

I am back on the boat and managed to go 120+ days without PMO. However in that time I visited escorts several times to satisfy my desire for sex. I was no longer able to get it off with porn and porn did not even elicit an erection from me. Only real girls managed to do that, but I was not able to attract a compatible female due to my lack of a social circle. As of now I literally have no friends that I can get into physical touch since most of them are abroad. 

After I broke up with my girlfriend I had maybe 2 potential girlfriends, yet I was not interested in the first one and the second one sort of ghosted on me again. Now I am struggling to get my master's degree since I extended the duration of my study after failing to defend my thesis on time. I really want to have a normal social life apart from girlfriend, but I cannot and I identify myself as loveshy.

These aside I have been pretty active physically: I went to gym and boxing regularly, enrolled in dance classes, participated in lots of dance nights. I also do one more sport regularly and I do not want to disclose it as it may serve as an identifier.

Sexually my performance has deprived to quite some extend: I can no longer get spontaneous erections, no more wetdreams, no more sensation from masturbation apart orgasm and when I orgasm very little cum comes. I am allergic to eggs and I cannot say I have a solid nutrition program so that may be the culprit. IMO stress is also a big factor in this; I feel like my penis will not ever work again and this drives me to doing crazy things.

I do not PMO anymore, yet I look at porn sometimes and hire escorts occasionally. I am afraid that I may be burning my money, inviting STDs and decreasing my reputation/career. I am in the middle of a vicious cycle and I started counselling with an expert on human sexuality. I would be keen to hear your opinions.

 

[Mych21]

Hey man, I've read different articles on the phases of  porn addiction. I don't exactly remember all of them but the last one. The last one being the "acting out" phase. This phase is where porn no longer excites you and you want the real thing. Hiring escorts would identify as that. Also, during the "acting out" phase the brain wants to continue the excitement of exploring and hunting for the pleasure. There is a desensitization and a carelessness thought pattern in achieving happiness or sexual pleasure during the "acting out" phase too. This being what you are engaging in by hiring escorts and not taking into consideration the side effects such as STD's. I have read a lot about the neuroscience of this addiction and how the brain works during this process. I have some links with videos I can send you if you're interested. YourBrainOnPorn.com is a good website too and it's right here on the forum. Being socially awkward is normal during this process as well. Our brain gets so used to being alone and in a fantasy type world we almost lose touch with society/reality. When I was in college I felt as if I was disconnected from the real world because school took up so much of my time. Once I graduated and got a job things were a lot different and I was forced to be social. This changed me and helped me get away from porn. By the way I'm not a social person either. I don't know when it started but I have this stammering/stuttering issue when I talk. It's so sporadic and comes and goes I hate it and when I talk to people it's funny to them and it seems like something is wrong with me, so it takes a lot away for my social activity.

I would suggest you take a break from all sex for at least a month. I would challenge you to the 90-day challenge. Nothing sexual for 90 days. I would be willing to bet you would start to see spontaneous erections and other normal bodily functions you say have gone away. The best news is, man, you haven't destroyed yourself. You haven't reached a point of no return although it may feel like it. Your brain and body will return to normal functioning and social activity will get easier too. In my opinion, go without anything sexual for a minimum of 30 days and see where you're at. If nothing has changed then go 60 days. Then go 90 days sex free. Your brain and body will return I guarantee it. Best of luck to you brother.

 

[Paddrecon]

Hey man, I've read different articles on the phases of  porn addiction. I don't exactly remember all of them but the last one. The last one being the "acting out" phase. This phase is where porn no longer excites you and you want the real thing. Hiring escorts would identify as that. Also, during the "acting out" phase the brain wants to continue the excitement of exploring and hunting for the pleasure. There is a desensitization and a carelessness thought pattern in achieving happiness or sexual pleasure during the "acting out" phase too. This being what you are engaging in by hiring escorts and not taking into consideration the side effects such as STD's. I have read a lot about the neuroscience of this addiction and how the brain works during this process. I have some links with videos I can send you if you're interested. YourBrainOnPorn.com is a good website too and it's right here on the forum. Being socially awkward is normal during this process as well. Our brain gets so used to being alone and in a fantasy type world we almost lose touch with society/reality. When I was in college I felt as if I was disconnected from the real world because school took up so much of my time. Once I graduated and got a job things were a lot different and I was forced to be social. This changed me and helped me get away from porn. By the way I'm not a social person either. I don't know when it started but I have this stammering/stuttering issue when I talk. It's so sporadic and comes and goes I hate it and when I talk to people it's funny to them and it seems like something is wrong with me, so it takes a lot away for my social activity.

I would suggest you take a break from all sex for at least a month. I would challenge you to the 90-day challenge. Nothing sexual for 90 days. I would be willing to bet you would start to see spontaneous erections and other normal bodily functions you say have gone away. The best news is, man, you haven't destroyed yourself. You haven't reached a point of no return although it may feel like it. Your brain and body will return to normal functioning and social activity will get easier too. In my opinion, go without anything sexual for a minimum of 30 days and see where you're at. If nothing has changed then go 60 days. Then go 90 days sex free. Your brain and body will return I guarantee it. Best of luck to you brother.

Thanks for the sincere comment I will definitely cease looking at P substitutes and hiring prostitutes for 30 days at least. I also used many antidepressants and they also seem to be related with decreased sexual activity, I would be grateful if someone can comment on this fact too. Here is a link validating that : http://rxisk.org/post-ssri-sexual-dysfunction-pssd/

 

[LeafandStem]

Hey, I am struggling with a similar issue. Social isolation and escort use. I hope you are going well. I really want to stop acting out in this way. It is a miserable experience and with potentially devastating consequences.