Time for me to grow up

Samuel86

New Member
Hello everyone, this is my reboot journal. I'm 30, with a girlfriend and a baby daughter on the way. In the process of a divorce from my ex. I've been viewing internet pornography since age 19, and since age 22 I've frequented online chat rooms for cybersex, especially one in particular. 2 nights ago, my girlfriend caught me using her laptop to engage in cybersex. I came clean to her, and needless to say, she was deeply hurt by my infidelity. Fortunately, she's decided to give me another chance. I am not interested in rebooting because I got caught and I'm scared to lose her, although that is a very real possibility if I continue in this pattern of behavior. I want to reboot because I love her and she is an amazing girl who I want to have all the best of me, and because I know I have no business doing that kind of shit in a committed relationship. I've had my wake-up call, and now I need to take action. No more porn (although she doesn't have a problem with it as long as I don't use it to gratify myself in her presence), and definitely no more chat rooms. I think I also need to stop masturbating as well, at least for now, because most of the time when I do that, I tend to either use pornography, or visualize past cybersex episodes. I really want to save myself completely for my girlfriend, and not use any artificial means to gratify myself. I have no problem with feeling guilty about masturbation per se, but I don't want to trigger that part of my brain that is used to getting stimulation from porn and chat rooms. I have a family now, and I really feel my back is against the wall with what has happened.
 

Vardan

Active Member
hey Samuel, welcome to the forum!!

its great to hear that you have decided to start new life without P.
it might not be easy but definitely worthy to go for it!!!

sharing daily thoughts in the forum I found very useful,
as well as reading/watching materials about P addiction  (here or in the similar sites)

 
Hey Samuel86,

Glad to see that your assuming responsibility and taking control of your life. My only advice, for now, is don't leave it up to will-power alone. Use the resources provided to you on this website and others. Dedicate maybe a 30 minutes to an hour every day or every other day reading, writing, or watching stuff on rebooting. Do this pretty frequently at first but don't obsess about it either as that can have the opposite effect, causing anxiety and exacerbating urges. Finally, try to fill your time with fun, active, and productive pursuits like those Gabe mentions in his video. And prepare a strategy for when times get really tough, 'cause they will. This could be breathing techniques or meditation, calling up someone(e.g. a friend) when you feel overwhelmed by it, or maybe just going out for a walk, run, or an activity(e.g. bowling, drawing, music, etc.)

Anyway, hope this helps and remember: no matter how long or how many times it takes you, keep sincerely trying and putting the honest effort forward. You're bound to succeed if you keep at it. Good luck!

Rebooter99
 
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