So I made it to day 107 without m or watching p. I had a 24 day break from sex with my girlfriend around a month ago and it made a difference but of late I have been fantasising about other women way too much and earlier this morning I caved in and masturbated to orgasm without porn. It has been a problem of late as me and my girlfriend have argued a lot about slightest things so in the back of my mind I have been thinking of cheating. I made an account on a dating site but deleted it as I didn't want to get caught out and considered it to be a porn sub and didn't wanna get back into p. Just how bad is mastubation to fantasy? Im talking about women I know such as my girlfriends friends. I feel bad for looking at them in that way. But im not going to dwell too much on the fact I m,d justgotta get cChristmas period out of the way as im always more depressed and get back on the wagon. 2017 is the year im gonna make huge changes in myself!
masturbation to fantasy?
- Thread starter Mad Mike
- Start date
offaxis
Active Member
Congratulations on 107 days. That is an immense achievement and you should be very proud. Seriously very well done.
Masturbation without porn and fantasy for me is healthy and taking care of my own sexual needs in a responsible way. Some people have different definitions but that's mine.
When fantasy creeps into masturbation I have a problem and have really struggled with that too. It sounds like you have shame and guilt over masturbating to the thought of your girlfriend's friends. I think that's really a common thing but you are becoming much more aware. I did the same kind of things too.
For me, there's a clear path of escalation through fantasy to porn and acting out. So cutting out fantasy and keeping those thoughts in check helps me stay present and grounded.
Good luck man and keep on trucking. Peace.
Masturbation without porn and fantasy for me is healthy and taking care of my own sexual needs in a responsible way. Some people have different definitions but that's mine.
When fantasy creeps into masturbation I have a problem and have really struggled with that too. It sounds like you have shame and guilt over masturbating to the thought of your girlfriend's friends. I think that's really a common thing but you are becoming much more aware. I did the same kind of things too.
For me, there's a clear path of escalation through fantasy to porn and acting out. So cutting out fantasy and keeping those thoughts in check helps me stay present and grounded.
Good luck man and keep on trucking. Peace.
N
Numez
Guest
as bad as porn. if you fantasy you are in the porn area. what you fantasize about is just the dosage. heroin addict going for quarter instead of full or half a gram is still an heroin addict doing drugs and its just a matter of time when he come back to higher dosages.Mad Mike said:
basically things are simple. any artificial stimulation is porn. no partner=no stimulation. if you try to find a hole in this theory, its your brain starving for dopamine rush.
cheating porn/fantasy was one of my biggest things i escalated to. i even almost tried to act it out, its crazy. i dont mean only me cheating, some girl cheating someone with me also. i used to get earthquake of buzz off of that.
yeaah sign of recovering!offaxis said:
fapfreezone
Active Member
There are times when I wondered about this. Now, though, I think that there are two main problems with MO to fantasy:
1) It strengthens the PMO brain circuitry
2) It reinforces MO to visuals = good, psychologically
It reinforces PMO circuitry because imagining is similar to actually viewing so you're doing pretty much the same thing. It breaks down the "I won't watch P, P subs, etc and I won't PMO" because when you do it, you are thinking "this is [good]". i.e. you are having positive thoughts about MO with visuals and I think this makes you more likely to watch P/P subs or to PMO.
As a result of the above, I think that long-term abstinence can't be solid with these problems, even if you could function sexually with occasional MO to fantasy.
1) It strengthens the PMO brain circuitry
2) It reinforces MO to visuals = good, psychologically
It reinforces PMO circuitry because imagining is similar to actually viewing so you're doing pretty much the same thing. It breaks down the "I won't watch P, P subs, etc and I won't PMO" because when you do it, you are thinking "this is [good]". i.e. you are having positive thoughts about MO with visuals and I think this makes you more likely to watch P/P subs or to PMO.
As a result of the above, I think that long-term abstinence can't be solid with these problems, even if you could function sexually with occasional MO to fantasy.
I agree fantasy is almost as bad as the real thing, the only difference is a screen! Does this mean I will be back at square one and have to go through the entire process again? I really hope not as I was starting to see and feel positive changes. Prior to my Christmas depression and arguments with my girlfriend masturbating was not on my mind and I just looked at her friends and thought "she's a pretty woman". Its made me give my head a good shakeand realise the errors of my ways. I have gone over a hundred days lets go for a few hundred more!!!
N
Numez
Guest
Mad Mike said:
you are always learning from mistakes so you are never back to square 1. from the brain perspective you are also better off than when you started if you get back on track
yesyes1234
Active Member
I don't think the fantasy aspect is as intense as watching P, so I would say somewhat better. Especially if it wasn't P esque fantasies. But yeah, it's a bad idea.
Fappy
Respected Member
first of all, let me say congrats on your progress!
as to your dilemma, theres nothing wrong with having a light-hearted, spirited toss. there was no visual stimulation at all, just the erotic images in your head. theres nothing wrong with that if not looking at porn to jizz is your goal.
don't beat yourself up (no pun intended) about it. its a win for you as far as this guys concerned. you were able to get youself off without porn.
don't worry about it mate, just paranoid fap withdrawals.
keep it moving forward.
[deleted bad joke]
as to your dilemma, theres nothing wrong with having a light-hearted, spirited toss. there was no visual stimulation at all, just the erotic images in your head. theres nothing wrong with that if not looking at porn to jizz is your goal.
don't beat yourself up (no pun intended) about it. its a win for you as far as this guys concerned. you were able to get youself off without porn.
don't worry about it mate, just paranoid fap withdrawals.
keep it moving forward.
[deleted bad joke]