Hello to all of you
I am 37 years old and have come to realize, like all of you here, that I have a problem with viewing pornography and also seeing webcam girls, I have been doing this since I was in my teens. I actually started my reboot a month ago and after a slow start and relapsing after 10 days, I felt depressed and ashamed. I got back up on the horse and vowed not to do it again. Well, this past weekend I made the bad decision of viewing a webcam girls profile with free access to her private video chat and watched her for around 15 minutes and ejaculated. Instantly i felt angry and upset, looked myself in the mirror and said....."What are you doing ? ". So for the next 24 hours I didn't want to do anything other than crawl under a rock and not talk to anyone. For the past day I went back to asking myself "why do I want to do this ?", "what am I doing with relapsing ?" and numerous other questions. I have actually written on a piece of paper 2 questions and a statement to myself, "What do you get from viewing porn ?", "What do you think your life is like with porn, is it better ?", the statement is "Do not relapse, you know what is like to masturbate you don't need to do it daily". This paper is taped to my modem next to my computer to tell myself when I go online not to be distracted and give into to urges and temptation.
I suffer from brain fog, images of naked woman, memories of viewing webcam girls often and pornographic movies in my head within the first 4 to 5 days of rebooting.
As I am typing this I now understand the real extent of my problem and what needs to be done. I have actually cried twice due to me relapsing and being angry, and after doing that I don't want to go back. I would like to here from you about anything else I can do to help me with my reboot and any other advice not give into the urges. Here is to a successful reboot no matter how long it takes !!!!!!!!!!!
8)
I am 37 years old and have come to realize, like all of you here, that I have a problem with viewing pornography and also seeing webcam girls, I have been doing this since I was in my teens. I actually started my reboot a month ago and after a slow start and relapsing after 10 days, I felt depressed and ashamed. I got back up on the horse and vowed not to do it again. Well, this past weekend I made the bad decision of viewing a webcam girls profile with free access to her private video chat and watched her for around 15 minutes and ejaculated. Instantly i felt angry and upset, looked myself in the mirror and said....."What are you doing ? ". So for the next 24 hours I didn't want to do anything other than crawl under a rock and not talk to anyone. For the past day I went back to asking myself "why do I want to do this ?", "what am I doing with relapsing ?" and numerous other questions. I have actually written on a piece of paper 2 questions and a statement to myself, "What do you get from viewing porn ?", "What do you think your life is like with porn, is it better ?", the statement is "Do not relapse, you know what is like to masturbate you don't need to do it daily". This paper is taped to my modem next to my computer to tell myself when I go online not to be distracted and give into to urges and temptation.
I suffer from brain fog, images of naked woman, memories of viewing webcam girls often and pornographic movies in my head within the first 4 to 5 days of rebooting.
As I am typing this I now understand the real extent of my problem and what needs to be done. I have actually cried twice due to me relapsing and being angry, and after doing that I don't want to go back. I would like to here from you about anything else I can do to help me with my reboot and any other advice not give into the urges. Here is to a successful reboot no matter how long it takes !!!!!!!!!!!
8)