Maximus76
Member
I'm a 40 year old male who has been trying to get rid of my porn addiction for about four years now. I have had some pretty good streaks , the longest a bit over 100 days, but always falling back to relapse again and again. The reason I want porn and masturbation out of my life is that I truly understand how incredible damaging it is to my brain and self esteem.
I have been, in periodes, sceptical to the whole "porn is bad for the brain" theory but more and more really started understanding that this is for real. Now, there is no longer a single doubt in my mind. I am 100% convinced and that is a good place to be as I now start this new journey/journal.
I also realize that this is not a quick fix. I think I best look at it as a lifelong process.
The more specific reasons I want to do this is:
- Social anxiety mostly and some general anxiety along with panic attacks. I have had it for about 20 years now. Some days are better and some days are worse but it's almost always there in some form.
- Depression At times more severe and other periods almost not noticable at all.
- Panic attacks Sometimes worse, sometimes pretty good but they are ALWAYS worse after porn or alcohol use.
- Desensitized sexual center in my brain Both for porn AND real life women. This shows it selfs as low libido, sluggish erections, both with real womend and porn. Deleyed ejaculation.
- Bad focus/brain fog my short term memory is bad from all the over stimulation and I have a hard time concentrating on just one task at a time. I find it difficult to focus well on one thing at a time or even following along the storyline in a movie.
I know rebooting alone is not enough. I understand that I have to work on every aspects, using a lot of different tools, to improve my life. However I'm certain that the many years of porn binging, all the long hours at end, is the biggest reason for my problems right now. I will use this journal as a tool. It will help me grow stronger and stonger on my long journey. On my long walk, my long journey to becoming an unstoppable warrior. 8)
I have been, in periodes, sceptical to the whole "porn is bad for the brain" theory but more and more really started understanding that this is for real. Now, there is no longer a single doubt in my mind. I am 100% convinced and that is a good place to be as I now start this new journey/journal.
I also realize that this is not a quick fix. I think I best look at it as a lifelong process.
The more specific reasons I want to do this is:
- Social anxiety mostly and some general anxiety along with panic attacks. I have had it for about 20 years now. Some days are better and some days are worse but it's almost always there in some form.
- Depression At times more severe and other periods almost not noticable at all.
- Panic attacks Sometimes worse, sometimes pretty good but they are ALWAYS worse after porn or alcohol use.
- Desensitized sexual center in my brain Both for porn AND real life women. This shows it selfs as low libido, sluggish erections, both with real womend and porn. Deleyed ejaculation.
- Bad focus/brain fog my short term memory is bad from all the over stimulation and I have a hard time concentrating on just one task at a time. I find it difficult to focus well on one thing at a time or even following along the storyline in a movie.
I know rebooting alone is not enough. I understand that I have to work on every aspects, using a lot of different tools, to improve my life. However I'm certain that the many years of porn binging, all the long hours at end, is the biggest reason for my problems right now. I will use this journal as a tool. It will help me grow stronger and stonger on my long journey. On my long walk, my long journey to becoming an unstoppable warrior. 8)
