makeItStop
Member
So I'm straight, always have been always will be. I watched and masturbated to porn since I was around 12, escalating to all sorts of weird shit including tranny and gay. Started off with fantasying about girls at school and pictures of females. Recently, I've been taking pictures of myself, mainly my ass, and they've been what I've masturbated over and I'm disgusted by it. I do have a thing for girls' assess though. I can get an erection from either looking at these pictures of myself, thinking about putting stuff in my ass (which I don't even like the feel of) or just normal stroking without any fantasy, so there's two distinct ways to get me aroused at the moment thoughts/images and sensation. I've tried and failed to have sex with girls four times, first I didn't get hard, second, third and fourth I couldn't climax and ended up a sweaty mess. I get thoughts about having sex with guys but they really do frighten me, I don't want to do that, I'm not gay.
My reboot attempts so far have been around 30 days then I end up giving in. Usually by taking pictures of myself or looking at myself in the mirror. I often fantasise about other people seeing the pictures too. I'm on day 9 at the moment and already I have annoying cravings to do this.
I also have a GF who I love and I just want to be able to have normal sex with her....
What's going on!? Please say this just a case of escalation?? I'm sure my thoughts are somewhat HOCD too. I often fear I come across as gay or look gay or people think because of what I say or do that I'm gay. HOCD?
This sucks
My reboot attempts so far have been around 30 days then I end up giving in. Usually by taking pictures of myself or looking at myself in the mirror. I often fantasise about other people seeing the pictures too. I'm on day 9 at the moment and already I have annoying cravings to do this.
I also have a GF who I love and I just want to be able to have normal sex with her....
What's going on!? Please say this just a case of escalation?? I'm sure my thoughts are somewhat HOCD too. I often fear I come across as gay or look gay or people think because of what I say or do that I'm gay. HOCD?
This sucks