Dating sites

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Reboot_Dude

Active Member
I'm at a point in my rebooting where I'm wanting to hang out and meet new girls, do some rewiring and increase my confidence. But I'm wondering where the line is in terms of looking at people's profiles... mostly it's entirely innocent, scrolling through and looking for girls I find attractive and have something in common with. But then once in a while I see some girl maybe showing a lot of cleavage or something and I get turned on and it feels like I shouldn't be doing this...

How do people deal with this? Should it just be avoided altogether?
 
C

creativerebooter

Guest
I don't agree with dating sites and apps. Especially the gay dating apps, they are just hook up sites for sex.
And also guys looking for sex chat. Not any use if you trying to get clean from PMOing.
Not sure what it's like on the straight apps/sites? maybe women are just as horny as gay men?
There are a few genuine people on them but some guys in my experience are just out for sexting too.
I found there are a lot of married straight men on gay apps too, I always feel so sorry for their wives.

Reboot_Dude - if you want to meet women, why not try the MeetUp app? You could make new female friends on there, it doesn't necessarily have to be a potential date. You would also avoid the temptation of PMOing by deleting your dating app? At least you would be meeting new people on meet up and it take you out of all that.
 
S

scorpion1386

Well-Known Member
creativerebooter said:
I don't agree with dating sites and apps. Especially the gay dating apps, they are just hook up sites for sex.
And also guys looking for sex chat. Not any use if you trying to get clean from PMOing.
Not sure what it's like on the straight apps/sites? maybe women are just as horny as gay men?
There are a few genuine people on them but some guys in my experience are just out for sexting too.
I found there are a lot of married straight men on gay apps too, I always feel so sorry for their wives.

Reboot_Dude - if you want to meet women, why not try the MeetUp app? You could make new female friends on there, it doesn't necessarily have to be a potential date. You would also avoid the temptation of PMOing by deleting your dating app? At least you would be meeting new people on meet up and it take you out of all that.
Click to expand...

How is one whose gay suppose to meet someone and 'rewire' if they don't feel comfortable going to gay bars/clubs and the dating app is the only outlet to rewire? It must suck to be gay for this reason.

I'm not even interested in just mindless sex to rewire. So an app is the only way even though it's primarily used for sex. A gay bar isn't my forte either.
 
Mikel

Mikel

Active Member
Up to the individual really. My experience with them during my recovery is that they mess with my head and I've very recently deleted my dating profile.

I went on with the intention to date and maybe a relationship if that was forthcoming. Instead I ended up looking up profiles for all sorts and yes, I did get turned on by some of the images which caused the dopamine receptors to get fired up a little. I might look into it a few months down the line and see where I am, but even then I can't see it happening. I'm an addict after all and I obsess.

After deleting my profile I feel tons better.

P.S. I should add that I am over sixty days clean. So it's still early days for me.
 
V

VikLU1993

Member
Im still on tinder, and i had a period where i felt turned on by girls showing to much in their profile. But as a guy that dont meet much women i feel like its nice to chat with girls that i dont chat with in a sexual way. Ive met girls with no intention of having sex and it has been nice. Its a grey area! If you get a dopamine rush from a few pictures and it doest turn up to some weekend binge watching porn then use it.

 
Karzam

Karzam

Active Member
Yes, I've been wondering about this as well - on the one hand meeting someone nice and being supported in this would be great, but there's the risk of surfing through profiles looking at girls with not much clothing on.

I've been moving towards the feeling that I should just delete my profile and stick out the reboot period before trying to engage with women again.
 
laalee

laalee

Active Member
Hi great Topic glad i found it.  Relate to the Gay men i am also a gay male.  I have been single now nearly 6 years after a 14 years with a man whom i thought would last much longer.  There were a few issues with sex as i could not be sexual with my partner as i would do with anonymous sex.  I now understand that sex in a relationship is different than anonymous sex.

Could i ask the gay men if they believe what i do or relate. After being sexually abused by an older cousin since i was 11-15
i came across a Beat and thought that was the only way to meet other gay men i did this for years hoping the next man would hug me kiss me but it was always about pleasing them and finished,which made me feel very sad and depressed. I finally went to a gay bar and the same thing happened over and over again until i was 18 and met a partner at a Beat.

Same question here i have been on dating sites and some Apps looking to date but i find being gay  this, these are our options.

Beat
Sauna
Sex on premises sites( most gay clubs have a dark room)
Adult shops
Adult dating sites
Apps

These are all sexual and i feel these are the options, i believe that is why i am still single because i do not do these things.
I am involved with Meetups and gay people from 12 step so how does one find a real human gay man wanting a partner.

p.s sorry to add this to your post Karzam
I hope some gay men will reply thankyou






 
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