So guys a couple of days ago me and my girlfriend went our seperate ways after 9 months living with her and getting over my addition with few relapses im now scared,im scared that now i dont have a woman the process will take longer to fully heal im worried also i may slip into old habits. Any input guys?
Newly single
- Thread starter Mad Mike
- Start date
live_and_laugh
Member
I am not successful in relationship and I just started rebooting, so I am not really qualified to advise you. But here is my thought: instead of worrying about how and when you can recover, pick something else to focus on, like career. I really want to succeed, and now I spend most of my day working on my job, learning new stuff, preparing for the next job, and making new friends. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, how long it takes me to heal, whether I can meet the right girl. But focusing on what I can do now is the most important. Instead of spending your time and energy worry, do something for yourself, families or friends.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Pr3c1se
Well-Known Member
Get rid of sex, get rid of porn.. DO AWAY with everything sexual. GO on a sex detox... That's the best advice I can give you... ALL FORMS OF SEXUAL ANYTHING = off limits... this makes it so much easier to decide "if this is okay... or if that's okay"... the answer is NONE IS OKAY (see how much easier that is to say).... do this for a while, explore other aspects of life, read books, play sports, pick up a new hobby.. it'll make you more confident and more attractive to women 
le_petit_moster
Active Member
Dear Mad Mike....sorry for the separation. It is a hard time for you.
Don't be scared. It will give power to PMO more than it deserves. I am sure your 'little monster' ( not the devil stuff, just the chemical withdrawal) and the 'big monster' ( the illusions/brainwashes) are waiting for YOU to give them power.
DON'T !!!. Rather read a good book.
I suggest you read my hackbook. It's free. Get your 'big monster' unbrainwashed. The times you don't feel 'MaD;miserable and deprived and the times you don't feel 'MaG- miserable and guilty- are times you are getting stronger.
Wishing you luck.
Anyways _ every one here will tell you that PMO is NOT going to replace the void. Only it will aggravate it even more.
Cheers
Just live with the void and you will find your way out- stronger and more calmer. It's EASY. Just get the ALL the keys and apply it in the right combo.
Don't be scared. It will give power to PMO more than it deserves. I am sure your 'little monster' ( not the devil stuff, just the chemical withdrawal) and the 'big monster' ( the illusions/brainwashes) are waiting for YOU to give them power.
DON'T !!!. Rather read a good book.
I suggest you read my hackbook. It's free. Get your 'big monster' unbrainwashed. The times you don't feel 'MaD;miserable and deprived and the times you don't feel 'MaG- miserable and guilty- are times you are getting stronger.
Wishing you luck.
Anyways _ every one here will tell you that PMO is NOT going to replace the void. Only it will aggravate it even more.
Cheers
Just live with the void and you will find your way out- stronger and more calmer. It's EASY. Just get the ALL the keys and apply it in the right combo.
le_petit_moster
Active Member
Dear Pr3c1se...Good one.. I wrote something similar to this as a reply to a similar question. I strongly suggest this but as a 1 year break and then decide for yourself. I am sure then the question is not even there.Pr3c1se said:Get rid of sex, get rid of porn.. DO AWAY with everything sexual. GO on a sex detox... That's the best advice I can give you... ALL FORMS OF SEXUAL ANYTHING = off limits... this makes it so much easier to decide "if this is okay... or if that's okay"... the answer is NONE IS OKAY (see how much easier that is to say).... do this for a while, explore other aspects of life, read books, play sports, pick up a new hobby.. it'll make you more confident and more attractive to women
Pr3c1se
Well-Known Member
Mad Mike said:
You're not rewiring yet. You're getting off PMO
You're not done until porn is completely out of your life. Get rid of it. You can't skip steps! Once you're completely good (no porn, nor "once in a while" relapses.... guys "once in a while" relapses means you're PMOING!!! Hellloooooo. lol) Then you can approach women. You need a sex detox. I have realized most men fail at their reboot becasue they are so addicted to getting back to women as soon as possible. It messes with their mind, and they try to rush things. Don't rush things, just be patient, focus on yourself and making you a better you. I promise you if that's your ONLY focus, you'll know EXACTLY when it's time to bring woman back into your life. It won't even be a question, you'll just know.
Pr3c1se
Well-Known Member
Mad Mike said:
It's different for everyone. I would avoid it until you think you're ready to come at a relationship in a healthy manner. Take your time, if you try and rush this you'll only prolong being in this type of situation. I'll be honest, I took a year off from all of this. Was the best decision I ever made, even though it was a hard one!
P
phenix
Guest
I'm single too. It's been ages since my ex but I had an unhealthy attachment to her. I've learnt that this is the best opportunity to learn how to cope on my own. If I can do that, I can better be there for others. I've realised having too much support can lead to reliance and you forget how to look after yourself when you've got someone else to do it for you. That being said, the support of these forums is great and I look forward to reading more of your progress.
This response feels like I could have written it. I was very dependent on my own girlfriend and it took a psychologist to point this out to me. Only when I started working on looking after myself and cope on my own, I made real progressPhenix said:I'm single too. It's been ages since my ex but I had an unhealthy attachment to her. I've learnt that this is the best opportunity to learn how to cope on my own. If I can do that, I can better be there for others. I've realised having too much support can lead to reliance and you forget how to look after yourself when you've got someone else to do it for you. That being said, the support of these forums is great and I look forward to reading more of your progress.