So i have been in a real hard struggle the past week, i has a binge and the porn was escalating to areas i find uncomfortable and make the whole addiction even worse, but i am pulling myself out the mud! so after the last relapse of my binge, i felt worse then ever, i didnt want to be be awake, i felt as if death was the greener grass. and i have never felt sadness to that point. the binge was bad and really effected me emotionally, but anyway so far my last relapse end was 22:42 Saturday 18th of Feb, so 2 days ago, now i have not been able to top a week. and this rush of motivation and hope is making me feel optimistic...
so i listen to podcast called pornfreeradio. if you dont know this i seriously reccomend it, the guy is religious but, which is a good thing to me because i am not, his podcasts are not based round or fueled by religion based methods and speaking. so its alot more usefull and more interesting to me. as alot of podcasts are religion based. so matt who runs the podcast was talking about a recovery plan ( and i listened to about 3 of his shows before writing this ) and he talked about what people do when they think they are in recovery but are not. and it perfectly described me. someone who has a filter and has tools that i occasionaly use but for the most part i relapse after few days... thats because im reacting and not anticipating. so in the past 2 days ive been building a recovery plan. which he says and IS necessary to be porn free. im always adding to this plan but here it is so far:
- i set myself 3 recovery activities a day and write them on my whiteboard.
i check them off once completed and can be things like " 30 mins of podcast ", " 1 hour of recovery workbook" " posting on YBOP" etc
things that dont take lot of time as i am a busy guy but are helpfull in recovery. then i use a plus and minus system of 1+ for completed -1 for non completion ( sometimes 1 task has 2 points as it could be listen to 2 podcats but i only do 1 ) then add up the scores per day and write that down.
-i already see an addiction specialist every ten days.
- i use an app called FLIPD ( it allows you to block all your phones external apps, blocks the ability to download apps. blocks the browser. so litteraly gives you messeges and text. which i block when im not at work, as i use my phone at work. but as soon as i am back home i block for the amount of hours until i leave the next day
- a morning routine, something i can do everyday to start my day of in a positive manner.
- make time for self care ( something you do that relaxes you and takes out time to take care of yourself instead of using porn for that) can be anything, different for everyone.
so they are things i am integrating into my current life. to make me porn free.
if anyone has any other tools or tips or things thay have in there plan i dont, please share and comment.
also one more thing, the reason i have the exact date and time of when my recovery starts is because i find that if im counting the days in my head its even harder, i like to be able to get in bed at night and add up the days and hours so instead of me concentrating on getting through day 3, its more just getting through this day regardless of how long or little time its been since my last relapse. i go over that once a day in bed when its on view on my whiteboard.
anyway guys PEACE !!
"If you are not working on recovery, you are working towards relapse"
so i listen to podcast called pornfreeradio. if you dont know this i seriously reccomend it, the guy is religious but, which is a good thing to me because i am not, his podcasts are not based round or fueled by religion based methods and speaking. so its alot more usefull and more interesting to me. as alot of podcasts are religion based. so matt who runs the podcast was talking about a recovery plan ( and i listened to about 3 of his shows before writing this ) and he talked about what people do when they think they are in recovery but are not. and it perfectly described me. someone who has a filter and has tools that i occasionaly use but for the most part i relapse after few days... thats because im reacting and not anticipating. so in the past 2 days ive been building a recovery plan. which he says and IS necessary to be porn free. im always adding to this plan but here it is so far:
- i set myself 3 recovery activities a day and write them on my whiteboard.
i check them off once completed and can be things like " 30 mins of podcast ", " 1 hour of recovery workbook" " posting on YBOP" etc
things that dont take lot of time as i am a busy guy but are helpfull in recovery. then i use a plus and minus system of 1+ for completed -1 for non completion ( sometimes 1 task has 2 points as it could be listen to 2 podcats but i only do 1 ) then add up the scores per day and write that down.
-i already see an addiction specialist every ten days.
- i use an app called FLIPD ( it allows you to block all your phones external apps, blocks the ability to download apps. blocks the browser. so litteraly gives you messeges and text. which i block when im not at work, as i use my phone at work. but as soon as i am back home i block for the amount of hours until i leave the next day
- a morning routine, something i can do everyday to start my day of in a positive manner.
- make time for self care ( something you do that relaxes you and takes out time to take care of yourself instead of using porn for that) can be anything, different for everyone.
so they are things i am integrating into my current life. to make me porn free.
if anyone has any other tools or tips or things thay have in there plan i dont, please share and comment.
also one more thing, the reason i have the exact date and time of when my recovery starts is because i find that if im counting the days in my head its even harder, i like to be able to get in bed at night and add up the days and hours so instead of me concentrating on getting through day 3, its more just getting through this day regardless of how long or little time its been since my last relapse. i go over that once a day in bed when its on view on my whiteboard.
anyway guys PEACE !!
"If you are not working on recovery, you are working towards relapse"