When A Trigger Isn't A Trigger

[getagrip]

OK, so 100% of my PMO is fetish-related. But I also have a strong desire for a non-fetish (vanilla) relationship with a real woman. Last night I had a strong urge to PMO and turned to my Pinterest board that has lots of pretty, but clothed women. Lo and behold, looking at these images actually prevented me from going to porn! Yes, the women in these Pinterest images were extremely attractive but rather than see them as potential porn triggers I tried to imagine that they could be hypothetical examples of REAL women that want to be in REAL relationships. Long story short, the whole experience was a reminder that my goals are to be PMO-free and to have a real relationship with a real woman.

Not recommended for everyone, but it worked for me.

 

[MellowJoe]

I'd say what you're experiencing is nearly the same as "regular porn". From what I've been reading, what really gets you is the combination of something very desirable (a potential sex partner), with lots and lots of novelty involved and I'd guess that, clothed or not, you still have plenty of those pictures to look at.

I'd say it's harmful.

 

[getagrip]

Thanks for the input, MellowJoe. I am not completely sure I agree but to be on the safe side I am going to take your advice and just avoid digital images of all kinds.

Thanks again for your reply.

 

[MellowJoe]

I'd love to get another reply to this thread because i really feel strongly about what I said, and I'm positive others will say the same thing. You have to understand, for your own protection, that nakedness is not the bigger issue, novelty is, and I really feel not seeing this will hinder you later down the road.

 

[offaxis]

Personally, for me that would be harmful as Joe says.

My problem is with images on a computer screen instead of real life. It's a way of hiding instead of going out and living. I can find never-ending sources of distraction if I wanted but it doesn't get me anywhere and isn't improving my life.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I'd worry you are using that as a substitute to still be able to feel like you're safe and in control but without actually having to go out and engage in the real world. Perhaps you feel anxious or afraid of doing it for real? Maybe it's fear holding you back? There are a lot of reasons to explore and only you know the answer inside you.

What could you gain in the real world to let go of these online habits? How can you feel safe or loved to in real life? What would that person (you) look like and act like?

Peace.

 

[getagrip]

Both of you are obviously correct. The sad thing is that I joined meetup.com and there are hundreds and hundreds of social get-togethers on all manner of subjects occurring each week in the Houston area, yet I have never gone to a single event.  I was thinking earlier this evening that it would be a good idea to go out and at least try one, so that's the next site I'll go to after this one. Thanks for the advice and encouragement.

 

[le_petit_moster]

Dear all - yes, I agree with offaxis and mellowjoe.
Novelty is one of the ' porn water slides' 'greasing event.  An alternate source of dopamine.
You have already started on Meetup so you are good.

 

[offaxis]

Meetup I think is a really good idea.

Perhaps you can set yourself a challenge of going to one event in the next week or something. This way you can start to push out of your comfort zone and steadily build up confidence. I find that quite terrifying at times, everybody does to some degree I think. But I just need to get out and do it. There is no substitute for experience.

It is slow but worthwhile and can help make friends and build more life in time.

 

[getagrip]

So right you both are, offaxis and moster! I keep finding all kinds of cool get-togethers on meetup and plan to go but then I chicken out or find some b.s. excuse. But I should definitely go and you guys have given me inspiration. I have limited myself to online attempts to meet women, but in truth I make a better impression in person than I do online.

Thanks again, guys.