German Guy: 88 days of NO PMO and still fucked up. Need some advice pls.

[tylerdurden]

Hello guys,
I?ve recently finished my reboot and decided to MO after 88 days (before this i had a 36 day-streak and a 12 day-streak = 136days with 2 O?s). I thought this process would fix my ED and libido-issues. One day after masturbating I felt really good. I had strong erections and my libido was just on. I thought everything worked out just fine. Now 3 days later, i?m feeling almost the same like before I started the process. No erections, no morning wood, no feeling in my penis, zero libido. This isn?t my first reboot, last year I did one as well (54 day-streak and 72 day-streak). After that everything was fine. I have to say, that I was in therapy at the same time, because of my depressions. So I don?t exactly know, whether my reboot or the therapist has caused the healing ( Maybe even a mix of the both). But unfortunately I relapsed and masturbated to porn again, but only maybe 5-10 times. But this was obviously enough to cause the same issues again. I am 20 years old and really confused, why I?m still fucked up now, beacuse the last reboot was shorter than this one (126 vs. 136 days) and I assume that my brain was in a much better shape before starting  this attempt than a year ago.  Do you mean the streak was still too short and I should take another try?  When yes: how long do you think will it take? And do you think that just masturbating now has set me back in my brain? ( I masturbated 4 times since then) Please give me some helpful advice, I?m really a bit frustrated, if it will ever work out for me. I?m glad for your responses !
I hope my english is not so bad, I?m from germany
best regards,
Chris

 

[Berens]

You are doing very well, only 2 orgasms in so many days is very good archieve. I am not sure but maybe you shouldnt think that reboot doesnt work because of loosing libido after relapse. Remember that for Gabe http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-induced-ed-reboot-advice it took 9 months so maybe you need more time. Also it is possible that you already ok, have you tried to have sex? I dont have experience but i have read that there are people who are rebooting for months and they are worrying about their libido, but when they decide have sex for first time in rebooting everything is fine and they get very good erection. Have you experienced a flatline during this reboot?

 

[tylerdurden]

Thank you for your answer  Maybe you are right. I didn?t had sex yet. It would be really interesting, wether I?m able to perform. Yes I had two flatlines in my reboot. But isn?t it unnormal, if you have almost no morning-wood? Maybe I have the wrong criteria for my success... But I know from the past, that I had much more sexdrive and I?m just 20, so I didn?t think that there are hormonal imbalances. I even checked it last year and there was everything fine.

 

[Lilliput Haunt]

First of all, congratulations on sticking to your reboot for that long, many of us don't even make it that far!

Second, I think what you need to be doing is reaching that level of reboot that you've been achieving and then easing into a regular sex life. It's my personal theory that immediately following your reboot goal, you should continue your abstinence until you're able to start having sex regularly. In that way, you work on your brain in two ways. Not only are you getting rid of the old neural reward pathways from PMO, but you're forging new ones. You're basically telling your mind that you can't achieve satisfaction through PMO anymore, but you can focus those energies down this new route of real sexuality.

I know this might sound tough. After all, not a lot of us have girls on standby the moment we get done with our reboots, but my advice for this is to go out and start dating about a month prior to the completion of your reboot. Start seeing women at that point and you should be right around the point where you can have sex with them, give or take a couple weeks. You might worry about performance issues, but just be honest with them and explain you have some difficulty being aroused. Many women respond positively and even see it as a challenge, in my experience. If you're unable to perform, whatever you do, do not PMO after the failure. I've done this before and its just a waste.

Keep working on it my friend. I wouldn't worry about not being able to get morning wood. I think too much emphasis is placed on that in these forums. I've very rarely had morning wood, even in those times in my life where I had been sexually active. Everyone is different, and not 100% of people get it the majority of the time. Another possibility is that you just need more time to reboot. I personally think nine months is excessive, but that's just my opinion, everyone is different. You could try having sex periodically during your reboot to see if you're doing better. It's controversial on this forum, as some claim you need to avoid all sexual contact, but I disagree. Healthy sex with another person I think is always a good milestone on the path to healing.

Good luck! You'll make it through my friend.

 

[tylerdurden]

Thank you man, this was very helpful! Yeah I think rewiring plays a huge part  for me in the moment. And Dating many women was the plan after rebooting anyway. I?m just back from the nightclub now, where i made out with two girls and my arousal was really on and i had a hard boner each time. I wasn?t able to pull them direct to sex, but i?m sure that i were able to fuck them. Jeah I think morning-wood and spontaeous erections aren?t really reliable indicators for rebooting-success. Relating to this night, I think i?m actually fine, but my major problem in the moment is, that i have developed some kind of complusive disorder around my sexuality. A success experience would be gold in this time, so that i can develop trust und confidence around my sexuality again. And when I fail with the women I?ll have sex in the future, i can even think of a another period of abstaining completly.

 

[willpower1111]

Why do you care about morning wood or erections .I don't think they are any kind of indicators.I think flirting with girls must be your checking mechansim.A guy  in a different forum had an ocd about his sexuality ,constantly checking with pmo and was ruining his progress.So don't be self conscious about your sexuality and go meet girls imo. I wish i had a streak like that.