I've been reading a bunch of your journals and decided doing my own would be helpful.
10 days, no PMO. 3 days, no MO. Since this is my first entry, I'll start with some background info. When I was a kid my father ran his own porn site. He photographed local models, and worked with some professional models. He also had a cartoon fetish page.I had access to his entire affiliate site network with his master password. By the time I had my own computer in my room we had high speed internet, expanding my list of prefered sites, and news groups. By 21 I had minor PIED, but it didn't get really bad until my mid 20's when I discovered the tube sites. At that point I was lucky to get it up for one out three women I tried to sleep with. By the time I was 30 I could barely get it up at all, and that destroyed my confidence. At 31 I discovered the herbal supplements they sold at gas stations (apexxx) my dick was 16 again. At 32 I was the stud I always wanted to be with those supplements, and even hooked up with a girl i was chasing for a while. We've been together five years now. The sex was non stop, and mind blowing......until one day six months in the sex just stopped. So I quickly started slipping even further down the PMO pit, this even began leading to an eating disorder. If I could get it up for her, I couldn't keep it up. It wasn't long until we had lost the connection, and were more like roommate and cuddle buddies. It wasn't long till I actually started falling in live with the nudie models. Legitimately fell in love, and formed some kinda weird one sided relationship with them. I would get so excited when I would see new posts from the ones I was in love with. Last fall is when I actually started discovering articles about the effects of porn on the brain, and the site suggest 6-12 weeks of no porn to fix the damage. My first unofficial reboot. It lasted a few weeks, until I found my harem on twitter, and was back to my relationships, and only another week till i was back to the hard stuff. I found yourbrainonporn.com and this site a few day into this my second reboot. I watches a video by Gabe Deem about his PIED, and was inspired by the fact there were other healthy young men with the same problem. I've definitely experienced some withdrawls. Flu like symptoms, increased aggression (lost my temper so bad Monday, I broke my TV). Last week I was getting consistent morning wood, but after my MO slip up Monday morning, its been like a piece of dead meat. I don't miss my harem, and I definitely don't miss the increasingly weird videos I was getting into. I do miss the false intimacy, and the problems that led to this slope are definitely still very present. The positives: I know I can beat this! I am extremely stubborn, and can achieve anything I dedicate myself to. My goals are, 30 days, 90 days, 120 days, then the rest of my life. I am so excited about the though of having a normal healthy sex life, I can't wait!
10 days, no PMO. 3 days, no MO. Since this is my first entry, I'll start with some background info. When I was a kid my father ran his own porn site. He photographed local models, and worked with some professional models. He also had a cartoon fetish page.I had access to his entire affiliate site network with his master password. By the time I had my own computer in my room we had high speed internet, expanding my list of prefered sites, and news groups. By 21 I had minor PIED, but it didn't get really bad until my mid 20's when I discovered the tube sites. At that point I was lucky to get it up for one out three women I tried to sleep with. By the time I was 30 I could barely get it up at all, and that destroyed my confidence. At 31 I discovered the herbal supplements they sold at gas stations (apexxx) my dick was 16 again. At 32 I was the stud I always wanted to be with those supplements, and even hooked up with a girl i was chasing for a while. We've been together five years now. The sex was non stop, and mind blowing......until one day six months in the sex just stopped. So I quickly started slipping even further down the PMO pit, this even began leading to an eating disorder. If I could get it up for her, I couldn't keep it up. It wasn't long until we had lost the connection, and were more like roommate and cuddle buddies. It wasn't long till I actually started falling in live with the nudie models. Legitimately fell in love, and formed some kinda weird one sided relationship with them. I would get so excited when I would see new posts from the ones I was in love with. Last fall is when I actually started discovering articles about the effects of porn on the brain, and the site suggest 6-12 weeks of no porn to fix the damage. My first unofficial reboot. It lasted a few weeks, until I found my harem on twitter, and was back to my relationships, and only another week till i was back to the hard stuff. I found yourbrainonporn.com and this site a few day into this my second reboot. I watches a video by Gabe Deem about his PIED, and was inspired by the fact there were other healthy young men with the same problem. I've definitely experienced some withdrawls. Flu like symptoms, increased aggression (lost my temper so bad Monday, I broke my TV). Last week I was getting consistent morning wood, but after my MO slip up Monday morning, its been like a piece of dead meat. I don't miss my harem, and I definitely don't miss the increasingly weird videos I was getting into. I do miss the false intimacy, and the problems that led to this slope are definitely still very present. The positives: I know I can beat this! I am extremely stubborn, and can achieve anything I dedicate myself to. My goals are, 30 days, 90 days, 120 days, then the rest of my life. I am so excited about the though of having a normal healthy sex life, I can't wait!
