30YearsStopsNow
New Member
Hi guys. I'm new here. I've known about this forum and YBOP for some years now but never took advantage. But I have to begin this war.
I'm 43 years old, married, no children. I was exposed to pornographic stimulation at the age of 12 (still vividly remember the incident like it was last week). Since then I've grown increasingly dependent. Every human and spiritual relationship I have has been damaged by my addiction. I feel small and uncomfortable around people. I can't physically satisfy my wife by traditional means. I'm a creative person full of ideas yet I sit for hours and waste away in front of my laptop, searching for my next hit, masturbating my life away. I believe in a Creator and I believe I was created to operate along certain guidelines. My repeated disregard for those guidelines has damaged me beyond words.
I had a bad day today. Spent an entire morning searching repeatedly for highs. Wasting my life away. I wish Imcould be more eloquent and open.,,my heart feels like it's encased in hardened plastic.
I just want to stop. Today. I want my life that, thus far, I've given over completely to this addiction.
This is my day 1. Peace and respect to all you guys struggling with this 20 ton demon. I wish you all success.
I'm 43 years old, married, no children. I was exposed to pornographic stimulation at the age of 12 (still vividly remember the incident like it was last week). Since then I've grown increasingly dependent. Every human and spiritual relationship I have has been damaged by my addiction. I feel small and uncomfortable around people. I can't physically satisfy my wife by traditional means. I'm a creative person full of ideas yet I sit for hours and waste away in front of my laptop, searching for my next hit, masturbating my life away. I believe in a Creator and I believe I was created to operate along certain guidelines. My repeated disregard for those guidelines has damaged me beyond words.
I had a bad day today. Spent an entire morning searching repeatedly for highs. Wasting my life away. I wish Imcould be more eloquent and open.,,my heart feels like it's encased in hardened plastic.
I just want to stop. Today. I want my life that, thus far, I've given over completely to this addiction.
This is my day 1. Peace and respect to all you guys struggling with this 20 ton demon. I wish you all success.