I like the positive title of this thread. Welcome Hiro, you will find a lot of support and resources here.
Though I can tell you have studied the problem a bit, I want you to watch the Gary Wilson TED talk that is posted here, on the home page, top right, about half way down. This explains the science of porn addiction. "Porn addiction" can be a humbling and terrifying thought. It will take some humility both to admit it, and to over come it, but don't be terrified, it can be overcome with some effort and with some willingness to endure withdrawal symptoms. You need to understand that you are not addicted to porn. Porn is just a button we push to get a dopamine rush. Dopamine feels great, on some level it literally feels like being alive, like vitality. When you start to bring down your dopamine levels you are going to feel that feeling of vitality lessen. That feels horrible, that is withdrawals. Don't worry, they go away. Now, more than a year clean I never feel them, and I feel fantastic. But if you have abused porn for years, it will take at least a few months to rebalance your brain, to get your dopamine levels back to normal. A lot of guys report about a 90 reboot puts them pretty much back to normal. Let me say it again, months, not a few days, not a weekend or a few weeks. This will take a second. This means first and foremost, no porn and no MO. Why no MO? Commonly asked question. The answer is, for a porn addict quitting, MO is almost always accompanied by hypersexualized thoughts. Even if we are not watching porn at the time (PMOing) we are thinking of porn, remembering it, fantasizing about it; we are doing the thing that for that reboot period we must completely avoid--using hypersexualized thoughts to create a false dopamine high. You need to understand that your problem is above the belt, in the brain. When I say that porn, PMO or MO are buttons we push to get a dopamine high, that is somewhat deceptive--and you need to understand this--you can get a dopamine high while being alone in a dark room not seeing porn and not touching yourself--if you are actively engaging in hypersexualized thoughts. That alone is sufficient to boost your dopamine levels, so you need to plan on avoiding that. Again, not forever, you are not becoming a sexless being, but you are seriously dumbing down your thought of sex for approximately 90 days. No porn, no MO, no PMO.
Don't do this without tools to assist you. You have to plan on having hypersexualized thoughts. You have had them for years, they are second nature now. You have to plan on your dopamine starved brain wanting a dopamine fix and you have to plan on NOT giving it one. You will need to develop some technique to distract yourself when those thoughts creep in, some physically distracting thing that stops a momentary thought from becoming a prolonged fantasy, something to stop the though a few seconds in and not let it run on for minutes or more.
Also, get tools, get porn blockers. Do not quit passively. Quit aggressively. I have found it is alright to even become angry at the addiction. You must totally eliminate porn from your life, you must accept it is not a friend, it is not a comfort, it has caused you to lose things that you value more than the cheap dopamine high it gives you. I suggest K9 porn blocker. No blocker will eliminate porn if you are determined to access it, but if you are determined NOT to access it, the porn blocker helps, it acts as a reminder of what you are doing--you are quitting porn.
Last, withdrawals. If you are addicted and have PIED, that means you have sensitized your brain's reward pathways to porn and away from sex by rewarding porn with a dopamine high. You did not do it on purpose, you did not know you were doing it, but you did it, though years of porn abuse. We love dopamine, we love the feeling it gives us, and if we love it in small doses we super love it in high doses. You are going to have to give up that high and your brain is going to punish you for it. Withdrawals are physical, mental, and emotionally pain. They will manifest is aches, in hyper anxiety and depression, and in the long lonely moments when you are alone with yourself when the addiction starts whispering in your ear that just one little brief fix won't hurt. You must anticipate feeling these things. You must be prepared for them. They cannot be avoided, but when you feel them you know you are starving the addiction to death. That is the only way to kill it, it must be starved to death, so you cannot feed it even a little.
That is the bad news. The good news is that many guys report achieving a reboot that sticks after about 90 days. It may take longer. Gabe, I believe, said it took approximately 9 months for him. You have to want to be porn free more than you want to have porn in your life. Hiro, it helps to have something in your life you love or want more than porn, as your reason for quitting. If you have PIED I presume you want to become sexually active again with someone. When it gets difficult, remind yourself you are a man quitting porn and remind yourself WHY you are quitting.
I hope this helps.
My thread, if you care to read it.
http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=1256.0
Peace.
Will I AM.
