William, I wish I saw your reply earlier, if I did I might not have relapsed today. I relapsed today giving myself stupid excuses such as if I don't do this I will have pain from "Blue Balls"... I went 12 days straight without PMO and it is longest I've ever gone in my life since I started Ming.
Hi Triptonicmaph, we all have to learn about rationalizations and the way the addiction tries to trick us, or talk us in, to relapsing. No one has ever died from blue balls. I know the condition is uncomfortable, but being uncomfortable on multiple levels is something that most addicts have to go through to get clean. That is withdrawals. If there were a training manual for overcoming porn addiction withdrawals, how to recognize them, what they feel like, why we feel them, how long they last, and how they try and talk us into relapsing, would probably take up about 1/3 of the manual. 12 days is a good run, but understand that between 0 and 90 days, you are going to have to go through the valley of withdrawals, which often are hitting pretty hard day 12. Those feelings are actually a good thing. I know they suck, they are the shakes, the sweats, blue balls, false aches and pains, super high anxiety, and sometimes actual terror, but if you are feeling them, it means your dopamine levels are coming down, and getting them down and keeping them down is absolutely necessary to overcoming this problem. You know that euphoria you feel when engaging in the addiction, well withdrawals are that but in the negative. Once you get clean and rebalanced, you will feel good when you have a reason to, and you will feel bad when you have a reason to, but you will be off the dopamine roller coaster of porn addiction, and that is a great feeling.
Good luck to you.
Peace.
