Day 1
So Today is once again the first day on the road to recovery. I have used this site before but i know that i don't use it as much as i should.
i have been in recovery for about just under 2 years, but i have been an addict since i was very young. there is a lot i can share. i could write a book.
how porn is slowly ruining my life, eating at the foundations and will only be a matter of time before everything falls. i felt like that everyday up until i started going to an addiction therapist
who deals with a lot of porn addicts. i know more now. and i know what i should be doing but because of the hatred i have for this addiction. recovery exercises just make me uncomfortable because it reminds me of my struggle, when i am having a good day with no relapse the last thing i want to do is remind myself of the battle i am currently in. so i thought doing a journal which
everyday i will post regardless of the sobriety i have, just a post per day containing my thoughts and my achievements and failures. i have tried these before very early on in my recovery and i just did not keep up with it. but im serious about this now. i need recovery in my life. and logging my thoughts everyday and being on this forum page is helping my recovery and is an activity that can keep me on track. i hope to build on the things i do per day to recovery. i currently listen to Porn free radio, which if you do not know of this. is a great pod cast containing so much information about porn addiction and can be a vital part to your recovery.
so this first post will just be explaining why im doing this as i stated above. and just a quick sentance about my story.
i have been using porn since i was 10-11 and it has just buried itself deep with in my brain. something i use to fight anxiety and uncomfortable feelings. but because of the nature of porn addiction and the need for dopamine and novelty. i have become very secret about the porn use. and over the years it has got more toxic and regular, stretching from masturbating 5 - 6 times per day to porn induced fetishes. currently i am at the best point in my recovery and addiction since it started. but i need that final push to look past triggers and maintain strong sobriety. i have taken measures such as blocking my smartphone 24 hours a day using the App : flipd, which blocks all external apps, the internal internet app, so its just a dumb smart phone. and i can only use internet on my desktop in my front room which is not a place i ever relapse as i have a flatmate and huge windows haha. i am still working on maintaining those restrictions constantly as sometimes i can forget or not block the phone for a few hours and thats where i find myself in danger of relapse.
thats me. and i look forward to building a journal of infomation about me and my struggle and things i think can help your struggle.
this will help me keep on the path towards recovery. and one day to the finish line.
peace.
So Today is once again the first day on the road to recovery. I have used this site before but i know that i don't use it as much as i should.
i have been in recovery for about just under 2 years, but i have been an addict since i was very young. there is a lot i can share. i could write a book.
how porn is slowly ruining my life, eating at the foundations and will only be a matter of time before everything falls. i felt like that everyday up until i started going to an addiction therapist
who deals with a lot of porn addicts. i know more now. and i know what i should be doing but because of the hatred i have for this addiction. recovery exercises just make me uncomfortable because it reminds me of my struggle, when i am having a good day with no relapse the last thing i want to do is remind myself of the battle i am currently in. so i thought doing a journal which
everyday i will post regardless of the sobriety i have, just a post per day containing my thoughts and my achievements and failures. i have tried these before very early on in my recovery and i just did not keep up with it. but im serious about this now. i need recovery in my life. and logging my thoughts everyday and being on this forum page is helping my recovery and is an activity that can keep me on track. i hope to build on the things i do per day to recovery. i currently listen to Porn free radio, which if you do not know of this. is a great pod cast containing so much information about porn addiction and can be a vital part to your recovery.
so this first post will just be explaining why im doing this as i stated above. and just a quick sentance about my story.
i have been using porn since i was 10-11 and it has just buried itself deep with in my brain. something i use to fight anxiety and uncomfortable feelings. but because of the nature of porn addiction and the need for dopamine and novelty. i have become very secret about the porn use. and over the years it has got more toxic and regular, stretching from masturbating 5 - 6 times per day to porn induced fetishes. currently i am at the best point in my recovery and addiction since it started. but i need that final push to look past triggers and maintain strong sobriety. i have taken measures such as blocking my smartphone 24 hours a day using the App : flipd, which blocks all external apps, the internal internet app, so its just a dumb smart phone. and i can only use internet on my desktop in my front room which is not a place i ever relapse as i have a flatmate and huge windows haha. i am still working on maintaining those restrictions constantly as sometimes i can forget or not block the phone for a few hours and thats where i find myself in danger of relapse.
thats me. and i look forward to building a journal of infomation about me and my struggle and things i think can help your struggle.
this will help me keep on the path towards recovery. and one day to the finish line.
peace.
any help ?