AnonymousAnnaXO
Active Member
Hi, so I am a partner of a PA.
June 8th will mark one year of him being clean. He has made such amazing progress on himself throughout this year, getting back in school and getting good grades, doing better at work and being more responsible with work, and getting back into his hobbies like his car, guitar, and science. I love seeing him be happy in his personal life because prior when he was using he was very depressed with his life.
When it comes to working on the relationship aspect is where he seems to falter. We have started couples EFT therapy as of 3 weeks ago and our communication has gotten so much better, maybe one fight a week now. Though we can talk to each other better, I still initiate 99.9% of conversations regarding addiction, recovery, parenting (I'm pregnant and we are expecting in November). I have printed out packets on infidelity and how to rebuild trust, I've bought books that I've read and have been amazing and could see him learning a lot from (both personally and relationally). His excuse is always, "I can't finish a book" which is somewhat true, he never seems to have the attention to sit and read for very long and I assume that might be a side effect of porn use with getting rewards instantly versus working hard for the reward???
Anyways, what I am asking is, to the PA's who have been at least 90 days clean and in a serious relationship, what were the steps you took to rebuild the relationship aspect of your life? What did you do to rebuild trust, intimacy, the romance and desire, and initiation (both sexually and emotionally)?
Thank you to those who respond!
June 8th will mark one year of him being clean. He has made such amazing progress on himself throughout this year, getting back in school and getting good grades, doing better at work and being more responsible with work, and getting back into his hobbies like his car, guitar, and science. I love seeing him be happy in his personal life because prior when he was using he was very depressed with his life.
When it comes to working on the relationship aspect is where he seems to falter. We have started couples EFT therapy as of 3 weeks ago and our communication has gotten so much better, maybe one fight a week now. Though we can talk to each other better, I still initiate 99.9% of conversations regarding addiction, recovery, parenting (I'm pregnant and we are expecting in November). I have printed out packets on infidelity and how to rebuild trust, I've bought books that I've read and have been amazing and could see him learning a lot from (both personally and relationally). His excuse is always, "I can't finish a book" which is somewhat true, he never seems to have the attention to sit and read for very long and I assume that might be a side effect of porn use with getting rewards instantly versus working hard for the reward???
Anyways, what I am asking is, to the PA's who have been at least 90 days clean and in a serious relationship, what were the steps you took to rebuild the relationship aspect of your life? What did you do to rebuild trust, intimacy, the romance and desire, and initiation (both sexually and emotionally)?
Thank you to those who respond!