Gary Wilson says some people are permanently damaged

[DepressedAndOut]

This is just so depressing and hopeless - I just feel so sucidal.

What a hideous life I've lived so far. Not one kiss, not one hug, not one intimate moment. No deep connection with anyone whatsoever. And I'm nearly 34.

I feel so sick.

 

[scorpion1386]

This is just so depressing and hopeless - I just feel so sucidal.

What a hideous life I've lived so far. Not one kiss, not one hug, not one intimate moment. No deep connection with anyone whatsoever. And I'm nearly 34.

I feel so sick.

You're thinking negative. Please stop it. There is hope. The brain is neuroplastic.

 

[DepressedAndOut]

This is just so depressing and hopeless - I just feel so sucidal.

What a hideous life I've lived so far. Not one kiss, not one hug, not one intimate moment. No deep connection with anyone whatsoever. And I'm nearly 34.

I feel so sick.

You're thinking negative. Please stop it. There is hope. The brain is neuroplastic.

But what about the effects of Delta Fos B? And, in my case, the pathway to real sexual experience may have been withered away due to not getting one chance of intimacy with a woman. What about that??

Can you blame me for being negative about my chances to heal... ? It will only get more diifucult to heal  as I get older.

 

[Hisself]

I'm the op and although I am not fully healed I have seen a lot of progress as far as pied. I've never had successful sex and have only gotten off to fetish porn. 10 months ago I couldn't even get a strong erection with porn and lately even after my first relapse last week I've gotten erections just talking in bed with a girl that I don't even find attractive. I still have a long way to go but I didn't think it was possible. Keep your head up.

 

[DepressedAndOut]

How old are you and how firm was the erection?

 

[Hisself]

24 I've had strong ones at times and weak ones at others and none at all sometimes

 

[ben vellani]

Good advice.
Don't rush cos it will make more psychological pressure.

Hisself,

Sorry you're struggling with anxiety at the moment. I think you should consider revising your goals so you ease your distress around sex. The sooner you make friendly contact with potential partners, the more relaxed you will feel.

Standard advice for anyone with sexual performance anxiety is to take all performance pressure off of yourself at first when you're with a partner. Just tell the person you want to go slowly and get to know them (for a month even). Any kind of affectionate touch and kissing is beneficial for you both, but don't try to have intercourse or even receive oral sex until you feel completely ready.

There's no rush, and the easy, relaxed contact is very good preparation for enjoyable sex. This page may have useful tips for your partner: https://eddrugs2017.com/porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction/

I think it's also good to tell a prospective partner what you've been experimenting with (rebooting). Most will be very sympathetic...and impressed.

You'll be fine. All the best. Source

 

[BG_Dude_1981]

Dear DepressedAndOut,
Let me show you some videos. Please take a look at the videos below and watch them from the beginning till the end.

Here the owner of this board Gabe Deem says: "The good news is that you can recover"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltIjTeDKIh4&t=47s

In other longer video he says: "I felt I will never recover."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8kJ387-rzg&t=46s

Please watch the story of the legend man Noah Church.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXtEcQGLWW8
He successfully recovered PIED after 3 months fully abstaining from PMO. He is a friend of mine. Noah sent to me his book with the words: "Dear, PIED is fully reversible. You need to remove the porn form your live."

Last but not least. Bear in mind that there is a section successful stories in this forum board. You can check it. 

Not one kiss, not one hug, not one intimate moment. No deep connection with anyone whatsoever. And I'm nearly 34.

I feel so sick.

Buddy it sounds so familiar for me. As I am not really attractive for the women I feel ignored and isolated by them. Moreover I have childfree position /do not want to have kids/ and it is really hard to find women with same positions in my country Bulgaria.
I can understand how you feel. Please feel free to contact me via private message.
If you want you can write to my Facebook group in my signature below.

Do not give up and stay strong.

 

[DepressedAndOut]

Thank you for your help.

However, the difference between me and the likes of Gabe, Noah, etc, is  that they had sex while they were in adolescence or mid 20's.

But I'm in my mid 30's and still a virgin.

They have, in their brain, the neural pathway associated with sex which was reawakened after doing no fap.

I don't have such advantage.

I've joined your facebook group and downloaded the treating pornography PDF - hopefully that will help in strengthening my recovery process.

 

[BG_Dude_1981]

Hey buddy,
Do not miss Gary Wilson's book Your Brain on Porn.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/eynw5hkaa5ri41w/Gary+Wilson+-+Your+Brain+on+P%2Arn+Internet+P%2Arnography+and+the+Emerging+Science+of+Addiction.pdf

It is really worth!

Take a look at the latest interview of Gary Wilson. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhqx7yctQVk&t=9s
He says that younger man grew up with Internet porn recover PIED much slower than the older man. Sometimes it can take 2 or 3 years until they can get an erection with real partner and be able to have sex.
I think that the real thing is something else. It not depends how old are you, but what real sex experience you have before the Internet age. Somewhere in the subconsciousness the real neuropath way still existing. They just need to revoke it and bring it back to their consciousness. That is why it can take shorter period than the younger guys who have no experience with real sex. They need to build this neuropath from scratch. That is why they recover for longer period of time.
Unfortunately in case you are old guy /over 30/ and you have not much or not at all real sex experience you will need more time to recover PIED. I hope it will happens one day. Just do not stop believe and be strong.

I wish luck to everyone struggling porn induced porblems!

 

[DepressedAndOut]

Thank you. I've read Gary Wilson's book - it did help my understanding.

Yes, I do worry that i'm in my mid 30's and never had an intimate moment with a women. Maybe this is why right now, and have been for the last six month, not been able to feel anything when a hot woman is in front of me. (real woman, I mean.)

 

[xburnerphonex]

Thank you. I've read Gary Wilson's book - it did help my understanding.

Yes, I do worry that i'm in my mid 30's and never had an intimate moment with a women. Maybe this is why right now, and have been for the last six month, not been able to feel anything when a hot woman is in front of me. (real woman, I mean.)

Have you read this success story? It's about a person within a similar age range as you who has pretty much recovered from PIED; he regularly responds to inquiries in the thread too.

 

[BG_Dude_1981]

Hi Fellows,
I think that it is worth to watch the latest Gary's presentation. It was quite interesting and exciding for me. This man is genius. Probably the most aware man on the planet about the Porn problem.
Have a nice and calm watching.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLtSoWrEplM&t=326s

 

[Jones]

He says that younger man grew up with Internet porn recover PIED much slower than the older man. Sometimes it can take 2 or 3 years until they can get an erection with real partner and be able to have sex. 
I think that the real thing is something else. It not depends how old are you, but what real sex experience you have before the Internet age. Somewhere in the subconsciousness the real neuropath way still existing. They just need to revoke it and bring it back to their consciousness. That is why it can take shorter period than the younger guys who have no experience with real sex. They need to build this neuropath from scratch. That is why they recover for longer period of time. 
Unfortunately in case you are old guy /over 30/ and you have not much or not at all real sex experience you will need more time to recover PIED. I hope it will happens one day. Just do not stop believe and be strong.

I wish luck to everyone struggling porn induced porblems! 

OK so I'm 16....I'll Soon be 17.started pmoing at 12 I guess and I realized I needed to stop when I was 15.keep in mind I don't have pied cuz I can get aroused by touching myself or if I'm fooling around with a girl. If i try that now though it wont work cuz im in a deep flatline. What i have is performance anxiety. My real question is would you consider that I as a guy who grew up with porn ? And how long do you think it'd take me since I'm a virgin but I have a little experience with girls?.I get the chance to have sex alot but I'm just too nervous.

 

[Androg]

@BG_Dude_1981:

A new study makes a lot of the same points about the "perceived addiction" claims as Gary has.

"Do Cyber Pornography Use Inventory-9 Scores Reflect Actual Compulsivity in Internet Pornography Use? Exploring the Role of Abstinence Effort": Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: (http://tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/10720162.2017.1344166)

Gary's write-up about it: "Study invalidates the CPUI-9 as an instrument to assess either ?perceived pornography addiction? or actual pornography addiction" | Your Brain On Porn (https://yourbrainonporn.com/study-invalidates-cpui-9-instrument-assess-either-%E2%80%9Cperceived-pornography-addiction%E2%80%9D-or-actual)

 

[DepressedAndOut]

Hi Fellows,
I think that it is worth to watch the latest Gary's presentation. It was quite interesting and exciding for me. This man is genius. Probably the most aware man on the planet about the Porn problem.
Have a nice and calm watching.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLtSoWrEplM&t=326s

is there anything new in that lecture? Specifically about whether some people are damaged permanently or not?

 

[DepressedAndOut]

I saw some of the new clip, and it confirmed something that I have been stating on here for a while now:

Intermittent use of porn, or a relapse, causes a worse PIED! This is because the neural pathways comes back  stronger with every use after some time of disuse.

The following day after my last relapse in mid-August, I noticed my penis shrinking and a lot less blood flow. I saw PIED at work for the first time in my life - and that's when I got a cold turkey and no longer crave porn.

 

[BG_Dude_1981]

Hey DepressedAndOut,

Actually Gary shows some new stuff as perceived pornography addiction. He detailed explained some studies and his own works. Actually it is really worth to give 2 hours and watch the whole video. There is time for questions and answers in the final. As always he says that after long enough PMO abstaining the brain changes will reverse.
I belive that everyone of us can recover. The human brain is plastic. We need to be strong.

 

[DepressedAndOut]

Hello,


Yes, I intend to watch it soon.

Thank you.