Whiskey Dick
Member
I blame it all on my Christian upbringing, this porn addiction. Now, let me say my purpose isn't to offend anyone's religion. As a matter of fact, I'm a Christian myself, although of the sleep-in-on-Sunday variety. I wholeheartedly take responsibility for my own actions today, but that shouldn't keep me from casting stones at the strict religious church environment which raised me, and I wouldn't mind breaking a few of those ugly, outdated stained glass windows in the process.
Anyone who is reading this is probably thinking, "if Christianity preaches that looking at porn is a sin (filling your heart with lust), then how can you blame it? I'm sure your pastor wouldn't have approved of your porn use and the idol of dopamine you worshiped." And anyone thinking that would be quite correct, but there's more to my point.
These days, Christianity invariably teaches "No sex before marriage!" While it's a noble ideal, in practice, it's a disastrous policy.
Back when I went to church, most young churchgoing males were addicted to porn. Either they would admit it, confessing to the rest of us, or they would get caught with porn on church trips or something. We even had a scandal in my church youth group where the youth leader was forced to resign when porn was found in his internet history. It's systemic.
The problem is, of course, that young testosterone filled men need to be in a healthy relationship with young females which gradually escalates into sex. That's only natural. In the old days, men and women would marry while still in their teens. My grandfather married my grandmother when he was 17 and she was 15! In our current era, every one wants to go to college and then get a job, have stable income, be well established in one's career, and, only then, get married. At that time, you're in your mid-upper 20's and pastors say you shouldn't be having sex if your not married. You also shouldn't be looking at porn or masturbating either. How realistic is that? How realistic is it to go from the age of 14 all the way to 25 without masturbating, looking at porn, or having sex?
People who grow up in these Christian environments usually fall into one of three groups: the first is the group that gets married early. Not at the age of 15, but more like 21. They can't wait to have sex. Usually, these folks don't go to college and wind up getting jobs working at the church, where they perpetuate the cycle. The second group shuns the church, rebelling against it, discounts everything they say, and lives a life of pure hedonism. They usually end up either dead or in jail. The third group, and the one I fall into, dates girls while in high school and early college, and either doesn't have sex (because you're saving yourself with porn) or you do have sex and one or both of you feel guilty about it later and you break up. I had sex with a high school girlfriend, a good girl who was a virgin, and she felt so guilty about it we broke up. She did so after listening to the advice of her most cherished church elder. That breakup sent me into a tailspin of PMO which I'm just now recovering from. I put my heart out there and loved this girl and she loved me back, and after a year of dating we had sex, and it was a beautiful thing, and I have to imagine God himself looked down on the two of us and cried raindrops. But this church elder convinced my girlfriend, that no, those raindrops were not God's happy tears but rather from gloomy storm clouds now above us, and if she wanted to escape the impending lightening bolts unscathed, she must flee from, me, this sinful lust-filled heathen at once!
And what happened to my old high school sweetheart? Well, she got pregnant and was forced to marry a real jerk. He cheated on her numerous times, and they're now divorced. After she and I had sex, she was no longer chaste, the church convinced her she was now dirty, so what's the point? Might as well bang anybody now.
Meanwhile, I was schlong-deep into porn by college and head-deep in med school. I tried quitting many times, but it was the same pattern over and again. Quit porn. Get a girl. Get her clothes off. Get hard. Get hard. Get hard. Come on get hard, damnit! The girl would later leave, and I would be too embarrassed to answer her phone calls later. Humiliated and hopeless, I would dive right back into porn.
I'm in recovery now, and I do at least thank my Christian upbringing for giving me the consciousness to not slide completely into "The Nothing." We all know those nihilistic types who look at porn and don't see anything wrong with it, and are skeptical that it's the cause of their ED...It's caused rather by "stress" from "this cruel world," "this girl isn't doing it for me" or whatever excuse fits their paradigm. But I would be a fool if I didn't take an honest assessment of my upbringing before having children myself.
If I get out of this flatline, and eventually have a son, I will raise him differently. I'm not saying church is a bad place to raise kids, but I'm going to encourage him to have sex with girls and discourage PMO, and tell him anyone who thinks that sex is evil should open their Bibles and read the "fruitful and prosper" line again, lest ye wind up "fruitless and desolate" like your old man was, back before he frequented Reboot Nation every day.
Anyone who is reading this is probably thinking, "if Christianity preaches that looking at porn is a sin (filling your heart with lust), then how can you blame it? I'm sure your pastor wouldn't have approved of your porn use and the idol of dopamine you worshiped." And anyone thinking that would be quite correct, but there's more to my point.
These days, Christianity invariably teaches "No sex before marriage!" While it's a noble ideal, in practice, it's a disastrous policy.
Back when I went to church, most young churchgoing males were addicted to porn. Either they would admit it, confessing to the rest of us, or they would get caught with porn on church trips or something. We even had a scandal in my church youth group where the youth leader was forced to resign when porn was found in his internet history. It's systemic.
The problem is, of course, that young testosterone filled men need to be in a healthy relationship with young females which gradually escalates into sex. That's only natural. In the old days, men and women would marry while still in their teens. My grandfather married my grandmother when he was 17 and she was 15! In our current era, every one wants to go to college and then get a job, have stable income, be well established in one's career, and, only then, get married. At that time, you're in your mid-upper 20's and pastors say you shouldn't be having sex if your not married. You also shouldn't be looking at porn or masturbating either. How realistic is that? How realistic is it to go from the age of 14 all the way to 25 without masturbating, looking at porn, or having sex?
People who grow up in these Christian environments usually fall into one of three groups: the first is the group that gets married early. Not at the age of 15, but more like 21. They can't wait to have sex. Usually, these folks don't go to college and wind up getting jobs working at the church, where they perpetuate the cycle. The second group shuns the church, rebelling against it, discounts everything they say, and lives a life of pure hedonism. They usually end up either dead or in jail. The third group, and the one I fall into, dates girls while in high school and early college, and either doesn't have sex (because you're saving yourself with porn) or you do have sex and one or both of you feel guilty about it later and you break up. I had sex with a high school girlfriend, a good girl who was a virgin, and she felt so guilty about it we broke up. She did so after listening to the advice of her most cherished church elder. That breakup sent me into a tailspin of PMO which I'm just now recovering from. I put my heart out there and loved this girl and she loved me back, and after a year of dating we had sex, and it was a beautiful thing, and I have to imagine God himself looked down on the two of us and cried raindrops. But this church elder convinced my girlfriend, that no, those raindrops were not God's happy tears but rather from gloomy storm clouds now above us, and if she wanted to escape the impending lightening bolts unscathed, she must flee from, me, this sinful lust-filled heathen at once!
And what happened to my old high school sweetheart? Well, she got pregnant and was forced to marry a real jerk. He cheated on her numerous times, and they're now divorced. After she and I had sex, she was no longer chaste, the church convinced her she was now dirty, so what's the point? Might as well bang anybody now.
Meanwhile, I was schlong-deep into porn by college and head-deep in med school. I tried quitting many times, but it was the same pattern over and again. Quit porn. Get a girl. Get her clothes off. Get hard. Get hard. Get hard. Come on get hard, damnit! The girl would later leave, and I would be too embarrassed to answer her phone calls later. Humiliated and hopeless, I would dive right back into porn.
I'm in recovery now, and I do at least thank my Christian upbringing for giving me the consciousness to not slide completely into "The Nothing." We all know those nihilistic types who look at porn and don't see anything wrong with it, and are skeptical that it's the cause of their ED...It's caused rather by "stress" from "this cruel world," "this girl isn't doing it for me" or whatever excuse fits their paradigm. But I would be a fool if I didn't take an honest assessment of my upbringing before having children myself.
If I get out of this flatline, and eventually have a son, I will raise him differently. I'm not saying church is a bad place to raise kids, but I'm going to encourage him to have sex with girls and discourage PMO, and tell him anyone who thinks that sex is evil should open their Bibles and read the "fruitful and prosper" line again, lest ye wind up "fruitless and desolate" like your old man was, back before he frequented Reboot Nation every day.
