Starting Now Limp to Rock

[Jack Can]

@sleepking69:

For 1 or 2 days after I break a streak (at least 1 week) of no PMO I feel really powerful. Like my urge to talk and bang girls is up 300%. But after those 1 or 2 days it pretty much goes back to normal.

How have things been going with you? I haven't really been keeping track of the journals on this site anymore but remembered you had a pretty long streak going on.

 

[Jack Can]

Day (Something. i don't really know, I haven't PMO'ed in like 7 months but MO'ed like a week ago)

I had actual sex last night, woohoo! Everything worked just the way it should, I got an erection without jerking it at all. I Just pulled down my pants and was good to go. I moved through several positions and maintained my erection the whole time.

But now for the important part... What was different this time vs. the last time I tried but failed to get fully hard? I think it was a combination of not being as nervous (I've been with this girl before and have failed to have sex with her and she didn't judge me so I knew she wouldn't if I failed again) and not watching over sexualized pornographic material that puts me into my head whenever anything slightly sexual happens to me.

Maybe this was another reason: I used to think that I had to oversexualize my thoughts and "pump" myself up to be hard for sex. The other day when I had sex though I just let myself go with the flow and move things along with the girl at a not sped up pace.

I wasn't thinking about this journal or that PIED even existed, I just carried on with what I thought was right and my Johnson did too.

 

[Jack Can]

Day 0

I'm back...

So I feel like I should update you all on how I've been doing as I want to begin posting here for the next couple of months...
My sex life is scattered at best as I don't have a girlfriend, but it is there. I am able to get an erection and have sex, I'm still pretty nervous to wear a condom as the last time I wore one (like 16 months ago) it didn't go to well, so I just don't wear them (I know, not safe..). However, when I'm having sex I feel like I just don't get those hard erections like I want. So for now I'm going to give up the whole PMO thing and see how things go.

So now for the sad part, I hopped right back into PMO once I gave up this journal. I don't really have much to say about it.

 

[Fappy]

Well, no other way to say it, but PMO is going to make all of those problems a fuck of a lot worse.
What is the benefit of getting back into PMO?

 

[Jack Can]

Absolutely dude. I gave it up for awhile last year but then it fucking snared me again haha... And I guess I should've phrased my last post differently, but I don't like to deal with absolutes. I guess on this occasion though it's like smoking where there are very few, if any benefits.

Day 1

Search history cleared. Jerk-off tissues removed from room. Room cleaned.

Hopefully that is all of the M-related things I need out of my room to reduce urges... Eh, who knows. The only thing I really need to keep out of my room when the urges hit is my brain. I'll get out quick next time they come knocking.

The main thing I have to watch out for is drinking late at night with my friends and then going off to my room alone. That's when they come hard. When I'm at my weakest. I'm sure many of you guys can relate to that.

 

[Fappy]

Yeah for sure alcohol was  a major factor in my relapses. Its the I-dont-give-2-fucks attitude when your on the piss that leads you to, well, not giving 2 fucks. I figured Im likely not going to remember it in the morning anyway, so why not? Theres nothing wrong with going out and punishing your liver every now and again, just dont punish your penis afterwood!

 

[Jack Can]

Day 4

Things are going well. I haven't had any serious urges to PMO and I've been waking up with some steady MW so I'm happy. I think on Tuesday (1 week) I'm  going to start trying harder to get a girl friend. I have a couple of prospects in mind so I'll hit them up and then tell you guys how it went lol (if anyone even actually reads this journal haha). I think I'll try to do at least one thing a day that moves me in the right direction... Anyways, I'm pretty excited about all this so wish me luck!

 

[Jack Can]

Day 7

Holy shit. I had the most realistic dream ever that I broke my streak. I literally had to check my browsing history to make sure I didn't. I didn't though

1 week though, that's cool.

 

[Jack Can]

Day 12

I'm not sure im going in the right direction rn. I went over to a friend's house for a beerlympics tonight and didn't really talk to any girls that were interested in me. Now usually at a bar I would find at least 1 baby to bring home and talk to, but nope, not tonight. Maybe that's good though, cathartic even? Maybe I should be avoiding sex, thoughts? I definitely have not jerked off despite wanting to.

If you read this, respond lol

 

[Jack Can]

Day 15

I'm having few struggles with all of this. One of the biggest though is my levels of lust, I pretty much stare down a lot of girls now and it makes me feel creepy haha. (trigger warning) There was this girl that came to my juggling club and hung out for a bit and she was wearing one of those crop top things. She wasn't wearing a bra so you could pretty much see and imagine what her boobs looked like. Worst of all she had nipple piercings which you could clearly  see through her shirt.. I was going crazy, it feels good to relieve the tension I had through writing in this journal though. I dont know if you guys will be triggered by what I just wrote so I'll put a warning before it.

But I guess my problem is that things like that happen all of the time. I get obssessed with it, can't stop thinking about it, don't know how to get my mind off of it. Literally all the fucking time, I am part of this French club and want to have sex with every single girl in there. Is there something wrong with me or is this how everyone is? Maybe I need to go 100% overboard and just go all into the club lifestyle and sexualize everything until I get it out of my system or maybe I should just go zen monk mode and ignore everything until it goes away. The latter is impossible and I know the former is not the best for my development so somewhere inbetween I guess?

Ummm.. so dick health: morning wood is sprouting like a spring flower every morning. That's good.

 

[Jack Can]

Day 18 (This is what I wished I would have known before starting all of this)

OK, so I'm starting to realize that this website is like the WebMD of "I was losing my virginity and I couldn't get it up", looking over some other people's journals. WebMD meaning you have a little cold so you google it and then think you have some serious illness. A lot of guys don't get it up on their first times, it's natural. Nerves are so high, and if you watch any porn it can look like a super easy and effortless thing to get hard in a second and pound away for like 15 minutes. It's kind of similar to if you've never played basketball and you only watch NBA games and then are told to play with them. I can tell you that you would be nervous as shit and probably wouldn't be able to play well. Except with sex it's different because if you are nervous it has a direct relation to your dick and if your dick isn't up you're not even playing.

So I personally believe the solution to that problem is to just not be so god damn nervous. Easier said than done though lol. Find a girl that you can be with for awhile and try to avoid sex for a bit. Feel her, embrace her, just be with her. I don't believe this current hookup culture we are in is a good thing, especially for guys with nervousness problems. Don't identify with PIED. Admitting you have a problem should not be the first step, at least for younger guys. Saying you have a problem will only make you more nervous for next time you attempt to have sex. Avoid porn, as it promotes unrealistic standards for both men and women which will only further your issues.