Am hopeless Please Help!!

[Attvokate]

Hallo to you all fellow rebooters.

I am 26 years old I've been fapping for 12 years I started fapping when I was 14, I had no access to internet back then so I relied on women's magazines and sometimes adult magazines that I would steal from friends. It went on until I started downloading adult materials  through my phone 3 years ago, a year later I decided to take a brake which lasted for 3 months. I've never had a girlfriend since then till this year (2014) january. To me it was never a problem since I believed that girls didn't find me attractive since am a big guy in body size, on the other hand when I was young guys used to make fun of me saying that I had a small Penis, which I would  later in life discover it was a lie. So my story goes like this:

On the 31 December I was out drinking with friends and I managed to approach some nice girl who I didn't have feelings for (later she becomes my girl friend), I was just trying my luck cause I was worried that I was a 25 years old virgin, after she left, I went to another one who was drunk and asked for sex for which she agreed, we went to the back of the building were it was dark and empty and started making out for the 1st time in my life my Soldier did not Stand for salute, I didn't worry about it I just thought that I was too drunk, few days later me and my new girlfriend tried to have sex, this time I was sober but still I had another ED, this time It really got me worried, I was embarrassed and humiliated so much that I wanted to kill my self for real. The truth is I new Porn was my problem, I just didn't want to admit it. Me and my girlfriend are in what I call a distance relationship since I work in the City and she is in the villages. I only travel down there ones every 3 months. So I told my friend what happened and he said that It was anxiety. I promised my girl that I will come back during easter and this time is gonna happen, I went back during easter holidays but I made sure that everytime we were together I was drunk. I used that as an excuse to not have sex cause I was scared I might have another ED, last weekend I went back there again, we only had 6 hours together since I had to travel back to work early on sunday...This time I was prepared, I even bought condoms, but still ED kicked in...my girl was very supportive as she suggested that I go see a doctor, I promised her that I will as soon as I get to the city. She asked me why I couldn't stay hard and I lied to her and said I was thinking about my Ex. She doesn't know that she is my 1st girlfriend and I hate lying to her. I came back to the city and started searching the net for solutions to my ED that's when I found this site. I got to say that the testimonies in here made me feel like am home, I cried tears of joy when I read stories in here cause I could relate to every story I was reading. Now the problem is, I decided to stop watching porn on monday, the last time I watched it was on friday just before I took a bus to travel home. Now I don't feel horny at all, I don't feel anything on my Penis, no morning Wood, I've lost sensitivity on my skin, I don't feel like doing anything, not rubbing or Sexing. Is like My mind is shut. I decided that I was gonna stop fantasising and stop googling chicks on the street when am walking, but now am scared that I may not get my D""" back, am so desperate that I would give up everything just to have a normal erection without Porn, by just looking at a girl or just a touch from my girlfriend cause now when she touches me I feel cold, she even tried to give me a BJ but it was just useless.

Am not planning on going back to my old life, I want to stay clean for life. But as the days goes by a get stressed I feel like am permanently damaged.

A LIST OF MY PROBLEMS
- Can't get erect without porn
- No sensitivity on my Penis
- Porn

WHAT AM BUSY DOING TO SOLVE MY PROBLEMS
-Abstaining from Porn and Fapping
-Avoiding any Sexual fantasies
-Exercising
-Eating a lot of fruits
-Rebooting with a 90 Days Target.
-Avoiding any erection(even though I haven't got any in 3 days)

Please Help me with the do's and Don't's of Rebooting since this is my 1st official Reboot.

Thanks a lot Fam, and Please keep those success stories posted cause they motivate us Beginners. God bless.

 

[Mart71]

Hi and welcome. Your story sounds indeed familar and the most important thing first: reboot works and can cure ED, if the problem is porn.

Since you now have more free time, start reading through the website yourbrainonporn.com . It will answer more questions than you currently have about the process.

What you are in right now is called a flatline. It happens to almost everyone who used porn excessively in the past and stops. It is part withdrawal symptom and part of the healing. It can go on for a while but don't worry, it will pass at some point. Though it can be weeks or even several months. But again, this happens to many guys and is to be expected. It can freak you out, but yes, your penis will go back to normal.

Don't test anything during your flatline. Don't watch porn to see if you can still get hard. Don't masturbate to see if you can still get hard. Your body will most likely react in a weird way and you will be even more confused. The only relevant test is how you react to your girlfriend.

While 90 days is a good target, do not pin any expectiations on that specific day. It takes as long as it takes and should be seen rather as a new, permanent lifestyle and not as a cure, which is done after 90 days.

Recovery needs two equally important parts. One is rebooting, which is living life without artificial stimulation. So no porn or whatever else gets you sexually aroused, that is not a real partner. The second part is rewiring. This is spending time with a real partner. It is not only sex, but everything else having to do with a real partner. If you are sexually inexperienced, rewiring is what you should focus on. Just quit porn, don't bother too much with the details of what you can do in a reboot, but focus on rewiring.

It is not really mandatory, but if you seriously cut down masturbation for a few months, there is a chance it will help you significantly with your recovery. Though that really is different for every man.

Learn about the reboot, but don't obsess about it. Try to enjoy life, work on yourself, build the relationship with your girlfriend, do meaningful things.

For some guys, having a journal here helps them in the process. Again, this is not mandatory and is a two sided thing. While it can keep you focused or help you learn a lot, you are also spending a lot of time thinking about the reboot, while you would be better off living life.

 

[Attvokate]

Thanks a lot for your thoughtful and inspiring Reply...am planning on focusing more on my girlfriend and connecting with her, though we are far apart I think talking on the phone helps. Right now I just wanna go pass the guilt stage, cause I feel like I ruined my life and I keep asking my self Why, why did I get my self into this mess, but this site is what is keeping me alive and going day by day. Thanks a lot man.

 

[Attvokate]

Wow it is 6 AM and for the 1st time in 2 years I just woke up with a morning Wood, it is a 30% Erection something I've never experienced for 2 years since I used to JO everyday. This is the 1st sign of progress since I started rebooting 4 days ago, but still I've got no libido but now am hopeful.

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ I_quit_Porn

Wow it is 6 AM and for the 1st time in 2 years I just woke up with a morning Wood

Isn't it a great feeling when the morning wood comes back!? Just know that it is normal for it to come and go throughout the reboot and some days you won't have it and that is nothing to worry about. Just take the fact that you get it as a great sign that you are recovering and things are starting to change.

If you want to watch my video that covers my opinion on morning wood and rebooting check it out -

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=092UH6e0BWA

Much Love

 

[johnperkins]

hi bro

dont worry things go better. its a roller coaster ride.

I have been rebooting  for 4.5 months.

after two months till 90 dats I was happy recovered out of flat line.

but since last month ive been flat lining again.

huge brain fog..depression.

its a phase..bro..dont worry..ive kepy myself a year for my reboot.

 

[Attvokate]

Thanks All for your kind and encouraging words, I will keep that in mind as I go through this life long process, and also I've stated to eat more fruits and eggs since I've read some were that they can help boost ones libido. I will keep on posting all my progress here to help other people who are still new and doubtful.

 

[Attvokate]

I just came back from Town, what Ive realized is that it is some how difficult to keep my imagination closed to erotic or sexual fantasies when am out because of what most girls will be wearing, i found my self in a battle with sexual images flooding my mind as a passed my eyes from one girl to the next. Some positive things are heppening,http://legacy.rebootnation.org/Smileys/default/cheesy.gif i think my mood is changing or my personality cause am more conscious than before and very social, am no longer anxious and self conscious like i used to be. I was in a furniture store and i asked some cute sales girl for her Cell Number, Lol she turned me down in a nice way but i was excited cause Ive never done something like that before, i think am  coming back into society one step at a time. i don't know if engaging with girls at this time is OK or not but as i spoke to her i had my 30% erection on, it faded after a minute but i feel positive about my self although am still flat-lining. This Morning i woke up without my semi Morning wood but so far it was a beautiful day. AND OHHH LOL before i forget this one....i don't know what was happening last night some random girl just walked in front of me and said "Hi, How are you, you make me happy, i think i like you" Lol i asked her what did she say and she said "I love you"....i still don't believe it happened, and now i hate my self because i just laughed and kept walking, I should have stopped and talked to her but ohh well, better luck next time.

 

[GeniusAddict]

It took me time to figure my ED was from porn. The more I stay away from PMO, the better sex I have with my wife. These days I just stopped beating myself down and focus more on taking baby steps.

Best wishes  :

 

[Viper]

Definitely on the right path, keep it up.  8)
I just want to mention that it will be tempting to ogle and leer at women in public during your reboot.
You have to fight that temptation as well because it's all related.
You want to do everything you can to eliminate things that generate lust.
You can't tell anyone what to wear and you have to share the outside world with others.
You do have control of your mindset. It takes time but before you know it, you wouldn't
dip your head every time an "opportunity" presents itself. Trust me, I struggle with it
but it helps.

 

[Attvokate]

Just finished watching those youtube videos by Gabe and all I can say is maaaaan am really damaged, from viewing women as sex objects, no wet dreams since 14 because I was rubbing everyday, no morning wood to ED this is a mess, actually I am a mess. I regret doing it on the 1st place, I should have not discovered it, I hate it so much that relapse is not part of the process, am never gonna relapse, not because am strong but because I hate were I stand right now, I hate myself so much.

 

[uthaphan]

Hi !

similar story to yours, and I am trying the same

 

[kivenboy]

all the best bro

 

[Attvokate]

Thanks a lot guys, I believe we can do this. Am nearing day 20 and I keep having sexual dreams like crazy, and now my sexual fantasies are becoming stronger. Another interesting thing is that I think my Penis is getting its sensitivity back. Am still going strong and hoping for better days even though am still on Flatline.

 

[Attvokate]

Approaching a month without a reset, still going strong, that mini morning wood is gone, still on flat line...is depressing but this site is helping me to keep on moving.

 

[Attvokate]

  is 11 PM local time, just got off the phone with my girl and she is telling me things like "Love alone is not enough" so she's been going back to her eX for sex and that she is waiting for me to finish my 90 days so we can test it so that she can decide weather to keep on going out with me or go back to her eX. Do I blame her? Lol no, am just disappointed at myself...and the worst thing is that am back on "border line suicidal" I haven't thought about killing my self because of my ED problems for a month. But I guise this is part of the process, I've got to learn the hard way and this is it. God bless "ME".

 

[TheBadger]

I just came back from Town, what Ive realized is that it is some how difficult to keep my imagination closed to erotic or sexual fantasies when am out because of what most girls will be wearing, i found my self in a battle with sexual images flooding my mind as a passed my eyes from one girl to the next.

To deal with this there is a little tactic which worked perfectly for me as i had to deal with porn/sex fantasies in order to recover. Whenever a fantasy comes into your head just imagine a big Red X. And then distract yourself by taking a cold shower or by some other means. This will eventually become habitual and you will be able to deal with the fantasy.
With regards to your most recent post- try not too feel pressured by your girlfriend. If she can't wait for you then there isn't much you can do about it. Not to sound cheesy but there are plenty more fish in the sea. Concentrate on your recovery and self improvement and you will get yourself out of flatline and depression.

Keep on pushing through and you will make it, I had severe depression for 3-4 months and i made it through so you will too.

John Doe

 

[Attvokate]

Thanks for the tactics John, I will do exactly as you said. God bless.

 

[TheBadger]

Nice one, it really does work!

 

[Attvokate]

I've Joined another rebooting program after understanding how the brain reacts to everything we do. From today until the next 60 days I will be rebooting for weight loss, I?ve also learnt that it can have a great effect on my ED problem so this will be a boost to my Nofap reboot also. As for progress I get horny like crazy when I just woke up in the morning and am having a chunk of sexual dreams maybe 5 times per week, LOL is Crazy?although I haven?t seen my semi morning wood in a while now. #Still_Going_Strong.