The Journey to Freedom: My Journal

Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day One: My Story

Today the journey has begun. Yesterday was my last relapse and I saw a need to start journaling my experiences. Earlier this year I went upwards of 2 months no PMO, but gave in and have been stuck ever since. Now I have made the decision to never look at porn or masturbate again. It is harming my personality and my cognitive abilities, while keeping me entrenched in a lie. Good thing I have an accountability group (my roommate included), to keep me honest. I don't plan on ever going back to the mental prison this makes. Today and the latter half of yesterday have been difficult. Feeling exhausted and seem to be a shell of myself. I plan on learning from my past relapses and being present to NEVER let this addiction take hold of me again. Time to constantly improve and over come this years-long addiction. I'm done and I'm not looking back.
 
N

nyambz

Member
I totally understand what you mean by prisoner of your own mind. I once thought that maybe I'm powerless against it, but I'm not. Shove that stupid addiction and take the driver's seat of YOUR car (life). If you had a priceless sports car, would you let someone who doesn't care about you drive and wreck it? Stay strong bro.

Never give up.
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 2

Today was definitely a grind. Still feel anxious in social settings, which can be frustrating. But towards the end of the day I got my mojo back and was in a vibrant mood. Had a couple interviews and they were certainly more challenging because of PMO. I was anxious and had trouble being genuine. That?s gotta change. I?m gonna keep striving to get better and look long term. Stay strong brothers.
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 3

Today went a lot better than expected. I had a great interview (I do that a lot now) and was positive for the most part. Slow morning start, but I became happier as the day went on. Gotta learn from my mistakes and do my best. PMO really does have a great affect on your social skills, but I'm slowly gaining some of that confidence back. I'm gonna win the rest of this day and stay strong.
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 4

Solid work today. I felt confident with my presentation in school and overall was in a great mood. Went up and approached people, while keeping it positive throughout the day. Got an internship offer for the summer and am looking forward to that. Overall just a great day and look forward to continual growth.
 
N

nyambz

Member
Awesome @nofap901.

The connection of porn addiction to your social life is a lot stronger than most people think. Check this out:
https://youtu.be/ao8L-0nSYzg
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 5

Today went pretty smoothly. Started off slow and tired, but got up as the day went along. I did a 5K for a charitable event, which was a good thing to do. Had a lot of energy and played a lot of basketball. Got back into reading (which I didn't do when PMOing...) and felt good about finishing a book. Time to have a stellar day tomorrow. Win the day y'all.
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 6

Day 6 was a pretty solid day. I just ended up relaxing on Sunday and getting some studying done. Had a chill day and will win the day again today.
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 7

Well, one week through. Gotta pat myself on the back for that at least. Progress is being made for sure. I've been pretty occupied throughout the day with meetings and my studies, but I found time for myself too. Reading a good book by Tavis Smiley called "Fail up." Being humble and learning lessons through your experiences are great things to think about. Pretty tired today w/ less sleep than usual, but I got through the day. One week down, many more to come.  8)
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 8

Good work today. Was really exhausted with this time change or whatever it was, but got more energized with some caffeine lol. Did well on my presentation and was pretty confident around people. Feeling pretty energized at this stage of NoFap, so I?ll make the most of it and have a good day tomorrow. Good luck everyone and stay strong!
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 9

Well, it's day 9. I started something pretty interesting last night. My roommate and I are in this no PMO thing together, so that's really awesome. Keeping each other accountable has been key to my success thus far. Even keeping my door open at all times really just reminds me of the accountability factor to never give into the lie of PMO again... The challenge is simple: I owe him 40 bucks if I give in. Vice versa. It's really given me a newfound drive for this. Anyways. Pretty calm day today w/ some HW done here and there. Nothing major, probably just reading tonight. Keep getting better everyone.
 
Nofap901

Nofap901

Active Member
Day 10

It's been 10 days. Glad to have made it this far. It was an interesting day for sure. I felt really horny most of the day. I was kinda socially awkward in some situations w/ fatigue, but I really think this is PMO withdrawal starting to arise. I'll get through it. Just feeling out of it a bit, but had a good night. Drank alcohol for the first time in a while, but managed to keep it in moderation. Wanna keep it that way. Definitely some woman attraction, just gotta keep a positive mindset going into tomorrow.
 
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