BlueKey99
Member
Hey guys, i dont know how to start this whole thing so i guess i just go right in 
Now some informations about my previous PMO experience
So i Downloaded an app called brainbuddy that helps you to stop PMO, day counters, life tree, daily tasks etc.. its pretty good to have an assistant in my pocket everytime i get the urge to PMO.
My only fear is having the same pain as last year.. those panic attacks were terrible, no sleep, no concentration, permanently depressed ... even visited a therapist but didnt told them about the porn addiction ( actually didnt knew it was bc of porn ) so they found nothing and they just believe its bc of my family situation ( long story , not so important here )
Im at day 5 without PMO right now ( atleast its what my app says ), last PMO was last friday, my app counts for me so a few hours more or less arent that important.
At the first 3-4 days it was like a social boost with confidence, not extremely but i felt it... since 1 day im totally down and unmotivated and it feels like my bad mental state is coming .. having a huge fear of that ... actually had the idea to stop and just continue with PMO bc of my fear but i just want to keep it up and stay motivated .. even if its hard .
I meditate a few times in a month and im trying to go to the gym now to keep me busy and exhausted .
Looking forward to a better Life and will tell my story here.
I try to keep this Post up-to-date but cant write everyday.
- Im an 18 Year old male
- Started using porn when i was around 12 years old ( few times tv, then started directly with high speed internet porn )
- I found out that when i was on vacation i was way more motivated and had a higher self-esteem than normally, at first i thought its simply bc im in another country but 2-3 years ago i realised its the porn that was killing my self esteem at the end of the vacation
- after i found that out i simply tried to say goodbye to porn ... didnt work , so i realised that this is way harder than i thought
- My Goal is now finally to stop porn, idk if its a good idea to set a day goal bc i want to stop completely and im scared that i will go back to PMO as soon as i reach my day goal (did someone had experience with this ?)
Now some informations about my previous PMO experience
- Had a girlfriend last year and stopped PMO after wasnt able to have sex with her , 3 weeks later it worked and we had around 7 good months. ( did PMO sometimes but very infrequent and it was no "Decision" to stop, i simply stopped because i was so busy with her and my abitur) ( i had many arguments with her bc i wanted way more sex than she )
- Around october last year i had panic attacks and something what seemed like a depression or bournout, i broke up with my gf bc she made out with another guy in the time i was depressed
- After 1 month of panic attacks/depression and finally breaking up with my gf i started PMO again .. as frequently as before her
- Time flew by and its weird but it seems like everything just happens and i have no real influence in my life, the months without PMO seemed more real and better
- My decision to stop PMO was on the last weekend and then i found all the Forums and Boards about it and it seems like im no longer alone anymore, so i want to do it ultimately!
So i Downloaded an app called brainbuddy that helps you to stop PMO, day counters, life tree, daily tasks etc.. its pretty good to have an assistant in my pocket everytime i get the urge to PMO.
My only fear is having the same pain as last year.. those panic attacks were terrible, no sleep, no concentration, permanently depressed ... even visited a therapist but didnt told them about the porn addiction ( actually didnt knew it was bc of porn ) so they found nothing and they just believe its bc of my family situation ( long story , not so important here )
Im at day 5 without PMO right now ( atleast its what my app says ), last PMO was last friday, my app counts for me so a few hours more or less arent that important.
At the first 3-4 days it was like a social boost with confidence, not extremely but i felt it... since 1 day im totally down and unmotivated and it feels like my bad mental state is coming .. having a huge fear of that ... actually had the idea to stop and just continue with PMO bc of my fear but i just want to keep it up and stay motivated .. even if its hard .
I meditate a few times in a month and im trying to go to the gym now to keep me busy and exhausted .
Looking forward to a better Life and will tell my story here.
I try to keep this Post up-to-date but cant write everyday.