windowlicker
Member
This is my first post here, so hello everyone.
I'm 25 years old, have been masturbating from a very early age but shit really hit the fan when I got access to internet porn around 11 years ago, looking back at things it was also around that time when I started to feel tired, depressed, and just very apathetic and insecure 99% of the time, which was a huge change from a very upbeat personality I had before. I think it derailed my life in a way that for all of my formative years I was alone, with no real relationships whatsoever, and my sexuality was fed with only artificial substitutes. The worst part is that my environment is very porn-friendly, I work from home and always have at least 10 hours a day with no one around and porn one click away. To cut a long story short, just like everyone else here I have a history of things gone wrong ? very disturbing porn preferences, confused sexuality, not being able to perform well with real partner, feeling disconnected, struggling with relationships, etc.
I don't think that it's only porn to blame for everything, but starting to really feel like I can't have this in my life any longer. This is such a stupid thing to occupy yourself with, pure idiocy.
I'm on a day 9 or so without porn and masturbation (it started involuntarily so can't recall the exact date), occasionally having sex with my girlfriend but that's it, interestingly enough but performance did improve already though not dramatically. No urges to watch porn so far, what did the trick for me is keeping the mind occupied with.. well, let's call it "thinking about thinking" i.e. staying perpetually aware of weird ways our minds work and trying to notice how I think and how I feel/react or process things. Don't know why but it just breaks the circle of porn habit for me. Not sure if it's possible to break with it once and for all, so just aiming at minimising the presence of porn and its influence as much as possible. Probably will not write here very often, but wish everyone all the luck in removing porn from their lives.
I'm 25 years old, have been masturbating from a very early age but shit really hit the fan when I got access to internet porn around 11 years ago, looking back at things it was also around that time when I started to feel tired, depressed, and just very apathetic and insecure 99% of the time, which was a huge change from a very upbeat personality I had before. I think it derailed my life in a way that for all of my formative years I was alone, with no real relationships whatsoever, and my sexuality was fed with only artificial substitutes. The worst part is that my environment is very porn-friendly, I work from home and always have at least 10 hours a day with no one around and porn one click away. To cut a long story short, just like everyone else here I have a history of things gone wrong ? very disturbing porn preferences, confused sexuality, not being able to perform well with real partner, feeling disconnected, struggling with relationships, etc.
I don't think that it's only porn to blame for everything, but starting to really feel like I can't have this in my life any longer. This is such a stupid thing to occupy yourself with, pure idiocy.
I'm on a day 9 or so without porn and masturbation (it started involuntarily so can't recall the exact date), occasionally having sex with my girlfriend but that's it, interestingly enough but performance did improve already though not dramatically. No urges to watch porn so far, what did the trick for me is keeping the mind occupied with.. well, let's call it "thinking about thinking" i.e. staying perpetually aware of weird ways our minds work and trying to notice how I think and how I feel/react or process things. Don't know why but it just breaks the circle of porn habit for me. Not sure if it's possible to break with it once and for all, so just aiming at minimising the presence of porn and its influence as much as possible. Probably will not write here very often, but wish everyone all the luck in removing porn from their lives.