T
thechemist
Guest
Hi, this is my first post so maybe I'll write something about me and the reason why I am on this forum. I'm 24 and a couple of months ago I realized how badly my porn habits were affecting my life. For more than a year I would post pictures of my girlfriend in forums designed to do so, with the intent of getting obscene and degrading comments. I don't know why the hell that turned me on, but after stumbling upon a video about the book Your Brain On Porn (and after reading the book) I think I figured out my messed up brain and his tricks: the only sexual partner I have ever had is my girlfriend (we've been together since we were 16), and my heavily porn-sensitized brain just put the two things together: I was aroused by online pornography and by my girlfriend --> why not put the two things together, for an even more potent stimulus? I think that getting other people to sexually make comments about my gf and fantasizing about cuckolding etc. was my brain's way of "pornify" her and getting the most possible amount of pleasure.
That being said, being captured in this shameful spiral was the only really bad thing that online porn did to me: I've never experienced ED or stuff like that... and this leads me to my present situation: I have not been watching porn for the last month (one time, a couple weeks ago, I relapsed) and I have to say that I'm feeling better with myself. The thing is: I'm not completely convinced that porn shouldn't have a (tiny) space in my life. Maybe this is just my brain trying to persuade me to give it its dopamine dose, but follow me in this analogy: porn is like junk food. It creates a supernormal stimulus, it is addicting and it is really bad for you. That fact of the matter is that I enjoy junk food... once in a while. I am completely able to eat junk food only every two weeks or so, maybe even once a month. I enjoy clean foods more, that is my default, but sometimes I give myself a treat. In this way, I think I'm able to enjoy food (and life) a little more than someone who, if he just smells french fries, will start binge eating, regaining all the body fat that he lost with months of sacrifice... would't you agree?
Well, I'd like to be the slim and fit guy of porn, too. I would like to be able to watch it in a sporadic, healthy way (when I can't see my girlfriend for a whole week!!). As I said, I'm completely aware that this might just be my brain tricking me to fall in that awful spiral again just for a dose of dopamine... but at the same time I think that my reasoning is not completely bs.
Furthermore, in reading Your Brain On Porn, I've come to understand that there are actually safer, healthier ways of watching porn: not edging for ten minutes, having just one tab open, not hopping from one video to the next in search of continuous novelty, maybe saving a couple of videos and just watching dose several times... etc. What do you think, people? I know that there will be lot of guys trying to tell me that everything I wrote was bs and I'm just trying to rationalize my way back to porn addiction (maybe porn damaged your life even more than mine, hence your strict no-porn, maybe even no-masturbation program) but please try to keep an open mind.
Wow, it came out as a long post. I apologize for any grammar error, english is not my first language. Any help, idea or feedback will be greatly appreciated.
edit: I really appreciate every feedback, but the thing I'm really searching for is scientific evidence (/scientific speculation) about possible healthier ways to consume porn: while Your Brain On Porn does a magnificent job at explaining why and how porn can alter your brain, it doesn't say anything about the possible healthier ways to consume pornography as of today, while at the same time it hints they exist.
That being said, being captured in this shameful spiral was the only really bad thing that online porn did to me: I've never experienced ED or stuff like that... and this leads me to my present situation: I have not been watching porn for the last month (one time, a couple weeks ago, I relapsed) and I have to say that I'm feeling better with myself. The thing is: I'm not completely convinced that porn shouldn't have a (tiny) space in my life. Maybe this is just my brain trying to persuade me to give it its dopamine dose, but follow me in this analogy: porn is like junk food. It creates a supernormal stimulus, it is addicting and it is really bad for you. That fact of the matter is that I enjoy junk food... once in a while. I am completely able to eat junk food only every two weeks or so, maybe even once a month. I enjoy clean foods more, that is my default, but sometimes I give myself a treat. In this way, I think I'm able to enjoy food (and life) a little more than someone who, if he just smells french fries, will start binge eating, regaining all the body fat that he lost with months of sacrifice... would't you agree?
Well, I'd like to be the slim and fit guy of porn, too. I would like to be able to watch it in a sporadic, healthy way (when I can't see my girlfriend for a whole week!!). As I said, I'm completely aware that this might just be my brain tricking me to fall in that awful spiral again just for a dose of dopamine... but at the same time I think that my reasoning is not completely bs.
Furthermore, in reading Your Brain On Porn, I've come to understand that there are actually safer, healthier ways of watching porn: not edging for ten minutes, having just one tab open, not hopping from one video to the next in search of continuous novelty, maybe saving a couple of videos and just watching dose several times... etc. What do you think, people? I know that there will be lot of guys trying to tell me that everything I wrote was bs and I'm just trying to rationalize my way back to porn addiction (maybe porn damaged your life even more than mine, hence your strict no-porn, maybe even no-masturbation program) but please try to keep an open mind.
Wow, it came out as a long post. I apologize for any grammar error, english is not my first language. Any help, idea or feedback will be greatly appreciated.
edit: I really appreciate every feedback, but the thing I'm really searching for is scientific evidence (/scientific speculation) about possible healthier ways to consume porn: while Your Brain On Porn does a magnificent job at explaining why and how porn can alter your brain, it doesn't say anything about the possible healthier ways to consume pornography as of today, while at the same time it hints they exist.