I have recently relapsed after being clean for just over 200days. I have been clean now for 3 weeks. I think I relapsed because I haven?t had any any intimacy for a long time. I have been married for over 10 years with kids, I recently got caught for having an affair about 3 years ago and ever since then we do not have any intimacy, I understand she has been hurt by the affair and we are currently working on our marriage. But what I am wondering in the meantime while I am doing this reboot is it OK to masturbate during my reboot?
Safe to masturbate?
- Thread starter Whynot
- Start date
That?s up to the individual. It?s about establishing your healthy boundaries and that looks different for each person. It?s up to you to determine.
Personally I?ve made the decision to abstain from masterbating (and it?s been awhile) and I feel more at ease. I?m single now and not dating anyone either so for me it means there?s no release of that energy.. kind of nice given that I was has having an orgasm pretty much daily since I was young (almost always from masterbating)..
Up to you! If you do masterbate do your best to keep the porn scenes out of your mind.. the last time I masterbated I recall a scene sneaking in and that?s when I made the decision to abstain completely.. good luck!
Personally I?ve made the decision to abstain from masterbating (and it?s been awhile) and I feel more at ease. I?m single now and not dating anyone either so for me it means there?s no release of that energy.. kind of nice given that I was has having an orgasm pretty much daily since I was young (almost always from masterbating)..
Up to you! If you do masterbate do your best to keep the porn scenes out of your mind.. the last time I masterbated I recall a scene sneaking in and that?s when I made the decision to abstain completely.. good luck!
yesyes1234
Active Member
I think the general rule is if you were strongly addicted you most likely can't while if you were on the lighter side, you probably can at some point in your recovery. I would wait for a number of months after a slip up though, otherwise you will just strengthen the p pathways that reemerged from your slip up.
It?s hard not to masturbate, I was clean for over 200 days then relapsed in October. I am now looking back at those 200 days and honestly I was so damn horny and no wonder why I relapsed. I think if I would?ve masturbating during that time maybe I wouldn?t have relapse the way I did? But really who knows?
I am married and my wife knows about my situation and she is not ready to be intimate with me due to other issues that we?ve had in the past, so I?m thinking if I could masturbate with her or at least tell her that I?m going to masturebate then maybe that would help in my ways of staying off the porn? Who knows really?? I am constantly touching my wife in sexual ways and maybe that is not helping my situation, I?m not sure. I am always looking at women In public places and on TV commercials with my wife beside me and I always have these sexual thoughts in my head and I just don?t know how to get rid of them.
I am married and my wife knows about my situation and she is not ready to be intimate with me due to other issues that we?ve had in the past, so I?m thinking if I could masturbate with her or at least tell her that I?m going to masturebate then maybe that would help in my ways of staying off the porn? Who knows really?? I am constantly touching my wife in sexual ways and maybe that is not helping my situation, I?m not sure. I am always looking at women In public places and on TV commercials with my wife beside me and I always have these sexual thoughts in my head and I just don?t know how to get rid of them.
57yrold
Active Member
I think we all have to set our own individual rules and goals.
From everything I've read, it's best to go No P, No M, and No O, for at least a while. That's where I'm at right now. Even when my wife and I fool around, neither one of us touches my penis. (It's mostly me doing stuff to her.)
Now, after a really long period of time, I can't say what my rules/goals will be. I'm assuming at some point my ED and DE will get better. I'm also assuming that I'll be able to O with my wife, PIV.
At that point, I assume that I won't need M...
Lots of assumptions, I know, but that's the plan at least.
From everything I've read, it's best to go No P, No M, and No O, for at least a while. That's where I'm at right now. Even when my wife and I fool around, neither one of us touches my penis. (It's mostly me doing stuff to her.)
Now, after a really long period of time, I can't say what my rules/goals will be. I'm assuming at some point my ED and DE will get better. I'm also assuming that I'll be able to O with my wife, PIV.
At that point, I assume that I won't need M...
Lots of assumptions, I know, but that's the plan at least.