First time here

E

EnigmaMan

Guest
Overcomer2017 said:
I may get a cat. I love animals and always believed from a prior incident years ago that I was allergic to felines. An allergist today confirmed with two tests that at worst, I am barely allergic to them. I think this might be beneficial for rebooting (having to spend more time with Mr. Whiskers instead of Mr. Happy ;D).

I still have to think this through--financially and personally. I am the only inhabitant of my apartment since 2012. I've gotten used to the set-up.

EnigmaMan,

Just wondering if you used any audio/video products to help with the fight against PIED.
Click to expand...
I've never had PIED, somehow I never reached a point where that occurred, mine was a crisis of conviction.  Before I came to RN I had read several different books on the subject of PMO addiction, some Christian, some Secular.  They all had helpful elements, strategies to help.  For me, my greatest success has been while using RN last summer, I started out using a filter and an image blocker.  I highly recommend "K9" as a filter and as a secondary line of defense the image blocker, "Pluckeye".  Using these 2 tools in tandem I went 120+ days, but then the group of guys I kinda progressed with began to complete their reboots and left, which is normal.  Satan is very cleaver, so very cleaver and I got the idea in my head to try and see if porn would still draw me in if I were to come across any.  Typing that it sounds dumb to consider, but that is what transpired.  Took a quick peak to see if any pull remained and WOW!  It literally was the sensation of my hair being blown back at 100 MPH combined with a "hard-on" any porn star would admire, ZOOOM!  and down I went...  I now understand why heroine addicts who get clean, die when they fall off the wagon.  After getting clean and being stimulant free for 4 months it was like I had a virgin brain again, just one hit gave me the high/rush I couldn't imagine with daily use, but the downer that came with it was just as powerful on the downside. 

MY WARNING TO EVERYMAN, ONCE YOU GET CLEAN, DO NOT LOOK BACK!

For me I'd been an active porn user since I was 8, but once the internet provided porn on tap 24/7 it was game on for me for many, many years.  Sadly for me, once i completed my reboot and then decided to test myself, I inadvertently discovered how to beat my filter/image blocker and they are now of no use to me, so I am working live without a net.  Feel free to PM me if you want or just respond here, I check back at least once a day.

Later Dude,
Chip
 
Overcomer2017

Overcomer2017

Member
Thanks for asking.

So-so. I'm proud that I've greatly reduced the # of PMO, achieving a string of no fap days. I felt good!

Unfortunately my old-self esteem with issues with women are coming back. I've been on several dating sites--at best, meaningless conversation; at worst, I see my email was read/not read and deleted. I went to a hockey game last night and had to fight off depression because I saw so many attractive women on the street and in the arena--no looks or flirts. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I'm not Quasimodo either. As I headed for the subway home I longed for my appearance from 20 years ago. Plus I was great at getting girls' #s in the subway then. (This is somewhat soften by the fact that now so many people are lost in their I-phones or earphones.)  I am still in decent shape for 52. I just wish I had more hair. I am 3/4 bald. Then in my train car near me was a couple getting slightly "nasty." I rolled my eyes and felt the same sentiment I had 30 years ago: that's not for me--I'll never have that again.

So I am not getting any with a gf, I am waiting for more no-fap days so I can go to an escort and get some relief...and I end up fapping to get that relief and so the endorphins to remedy the depression. 
 
E

EnigmaMan

Guest
I can empathize on missing ones hair, mine was receding by my late 20's pretty good, so I shaved it all off at 29.  Been slick ever since, ladies seem to like it, I'm told I have a good head for it(LOL).  So I'm guessing from reading you aren't interested in doing the, "Hard 90", is that right?  I understand the depression, it goes hand in hand with whole PMO deal.  One thing I can attest to from my success last year is that if you do dedicate to the Zero Porn, Zero MO Hard-90 that after about 21 days the depression trails off as your brain heals.  Also there is another effect that nobody has put any scientific evidence to it, but most guys report that after going No FAP, No Porn that the women take notice, somehow they are attracted to us being in control instead of 'Horndog" spanking all the time.  It may be a response to our increased confidence from our new found self control or maybe they pick up on some hormonal thing, I dunno.  But I can say women do know and respond to men in control of themselves.  So something to consider...
 
Overcomer2017

Overcomer2017

Member
My hair too. I had a widows peak aka Dracula Point when I was 25. A lovely gift from Dad, lol  ;D. He was losing his hair in his 20s as well.

I'm probably going "Kojak" myself--again--later this month. This time I have a 'stash.

I'm easing into the whole program. I'd like to build up first to 30 days, then 60 and then 90. A guy can't go from skinny to Arnie in weeks (without the "juice.", lol.) I enjoyed the days I didn't fap. My head and mind felt clear and good. I felt confident. Then my heart and emotions took/take a hit and the cycle starts again.

I like that women seem to pick up on the no fap thing.

Thanks, Chip!  :)
 
H

harmon38

Member
Overcomer2017 said:
I am a 52 yo divorced male who has been a porn viewer and masturbater since 1979. A month ago I had scheduled an hour with an $350/hr escort. I knew I had watched too much porn so I abstained from jerking off for a week. With prior escorts and my ex-wife, I had erection and ejaculation problems. In fact most of my sexual life with a partner I have experienced these ailments. Both problems occurred last month and I didn't even finish the time with her. I left, after telling her to keep the money. I was a bit disappointed about the financial loss, though this event made me release I have a porn problem.

About a week later while enjoying porn, I recalled several years ago I said to myself that one day I would consider masturbating to porn an addiction. That 'one day' has arrived!

I will be taking this recovery very slowly. Besides the fact that PIED realization and recovery is a major issue for me, I am also working on switching jobs from an SOB boss, and trying to reclaim an old business desire. (This desire has no sexual connection.) I am also trying dating again. I?ve been divorced five years and would like to be (sexually and non-sexually) social again with the ladies. Lastly I developed a "taste" for getting drunk while masturbating to porn about three years ago and am concerned about my alcohol intake.

Man, overcomer we are like blood brothers.  I had the alcohol thing come into play also.  I finally went to AA for a while and a therapist who told me it was a drinking problem not Alcoholism.  I guess he is right because after almost a year of taking a break, I have been fine with it.  I totally can relate to you!  Keep us posted and I am going to keep reading your posts.....still trying to figure out if I am doing this forum thing correctly..thx
       
Click to expand...
 
Overcomer2017

Overcomer2017

Member
:)
It's good for you AND FOR ME to learn about our commonality. It helps with the recovery.

For myself I have come to realize the connection between alcohol and PMO. I began, about three years ago, using alcohol as a means of celebration and pleasure. An early exit from work? Good reason to have 1-2 Bud Margaritas. Made an accomplishment at work? After 5:00, enjoy some tequila. Going to fap like crazy? Hey's it pleasure, so let's celebrate it and add to it: get drunk with a little beer and a little rum. This is being stopped NOW!

As I was just now coming onto the forum I was curious to see how many drinks a 375 ml (aka a pint) is. Much to my horror I see that it is 8 1/2 drinks  :(. Shit, this is a wake-up call!

Congrats on overcoming your drinking problem. I have to get there...and will!
 
H

harmon38

Member
If you stop and realize what we are doing....it is really awesome.  I mean here we are completely anonymous and bearing our souls to each other, for what?  To better ourselves and overcome an addiction because we are tired of feeling like crap about ourselves.  When I was in AA, it really was not as anonymous as I would have liked.  Don't get me wrong, I think it is awesome and has helped a LOT of people.  But my point is you can get away a somewhat with drinking until it catches up.  But with P you can pretty much always get away with it. So we are here because we want to be.  This is why I love this site.  We are truly, honestly, from the deepest corners of our souls trying to quit porn.  You guys are an inspiration!  Steel sharpens steel!
 
E

EnigmaMan

Guest
Quietdesperation said:
If you stop and realize what we are doing....it is really awesome.  I mean here we are completely anonymous and bearing our souls to each other, for what?  To better ourselves and overcome an addiction because we are tired of feeling like crap about ourselves.  When I was in AA, it really was not as anonymous as I would have liked.  Don't get me wrong, I think it is awesome and has helped a LOT of people.  But my point is you can get away a somewhat with drinking until it catches up.  But with P you can pretty much always get away with it. So we are here because we want to be.  This is why I love this site.  We are truly, honestly, from the deepest corners of our souls trying to quit porn.  You guys are an inspiration!  Steel sharpens steel!
Click to expand...
I've always liked that saying, indeed "Steel does sharpen steel'.  Bravo!
 
Overcomer2017

Overcomer2017

Member
Quietdesperation said:
If you stop and realize what we are doing....it is really awesome.  I mean here we are completely anonymous and bearing our souls to each other, for what?  To better ourselves and overcome an addiction because we are tired of feeling like crap about ourselves.  When I was in AA, it really was not as anonymous as I would have liked.  Don't get me wrong, I think it is awesome and has helped a LOT of people.  But my point is you can get away a somewhat with drinking until it catches up.  But with P you can pretty much always get away with it. So we are here because we want to be.  This is why I love this site.  We are truly, honestly, from the deepest corners of our souls trying to quit porn.  You guys are an inspiration!  Steel sharpens steel!
Click to expand...

You're spot on!

Almost 15 years ago I was on forum for anxiety. It was the same set-up as here. I can't tell you the amount of help and encouragement I got and then, when I had overcome the illness, began to mentor others on that forum. It was a great feeling and worth the two years of hell I endured.
 
Overcomer2017

Overcomer2017

Member
EnigmaMan said:
Quietdesperation said:
If you stop and realize what we are doing....it is really awesome.  I mean here we are completely anonymous and bearing our souls to each other, for what?  To better ourselves and overcome an addiction because we are tired of feeling like crap about ourselves.  When I was in AA, it really was not as anonymous as I would have liked.  Don't get me wrong, I think it is awesome and has helped a LOT of people.  But my point is you can get away a somewhat with drinking until it catches up.  But with P you can pretty much always get away with it. So we are here because we want to be.  This is why I love this site.  We are truly, honestly, from the deepest corners of our souls trying to quit porn.  You guys are an inspiration!  Steel sharpens steel!
Click to expand...
I've always liked that saying, indeed "Steel does sharpen steel'.  Bravo!
Click to expand...

I've also liked that "Steel sharpens steel" saying.  ;)
 
E

EnigmaMan

Guest
I found this scripture to be really, really helpful on my finally adopting the right attitude.  To me it sounds like it could be a exact description of our struggles.  I can safely say that many times after a fall, after a binge that I felt like I had been devoured, my soul ripped to shreds.  I pray you have a wonderful Christmas and that you find the Peace and Freedom I am experiencing. 

Later,
Dude

1 Peter 5:6-11
English Standard Version (ESV)

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
 
E

EnigmaMan

Guest
Hope you an Ms Whickers are having a happy New Year.  Be patient with her, she may do things that try your patients, but she'll come around.
 
Overcomer2017

Overcomer2017

Member
Thanks, Chip. She's a good cat. Honestly, there isn't anything that she's done which is trying my patience.

6 days--no PMO. Thanks, Ms. Whiskers!  :D
 
E

EnigmaMan

Guest
Overcomer2017 said:
Thanks, Chip. She's a good cat. Honestly, there isn't anything that she's done which is trying my patience.

6 days--no PMO. Thanks, Ms. Whiskers!  :D
Click to expand...
Good!  We added another cat to our household this weekend as well, makes 4.  He is one I kinda inherited about 2-1/2 years ago.  The lady who owns the rental house next to mine asked me to feed him for her as she spends months at a time in Florida.  She said she'd provide the food if I'd make sure he got what he needed.  For 3 months everything went according to plan and then she stopped supplying the food.  After that since I was paying for his care I just relocated his bowl to my house and he's been my cat ever since.  We made the decision about a month ago to sell our current house and move closer to my wife's work so I thought it best to bring, "Toby" inside and give him time to acclimate to everyone before we move.  I've never held him, he's always been a bit moody and swats your leg if he gets frustrated, so our contact has mainly been stroking his back while he ate. 

The first night I coaxed him into my laundry room and shut the door.  He cried and pawed the back door for about an hour but eventually quieted down and ate.  We have pet doors thru out our house and he knows how to use them but he wouldn't leave the laundry.  The next morning when I got up he'd knocked out a screen and escaped.  After that I never thought he'd trust me to come back in, but the next day it went off without a hitch.  Soon as I shut the door he leapt on top of washing machine and tried the window again but I'd already made sure thy were all closed and secure.  Now just the 4th day and he's more or less one of the gang and never makes any effort to leave.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top