my journey with pied

[hilltop]

Day 10

I've been treated for schizophrenia for about 15 years.  I've been a sex addict for about 22 years.  It's very interesting that the psychosis in schizophrenia is characterized by too much dopamine in the brain.  They treat it with meds that block the D2 receptors.  So, it was really interesting when I learned that dopamine plays such an important role in the desensitivity produced by pornography.

I'm on day 10 and I feel terrible.  I know this is something I want to do, to "reboot", and I hope I can see the light of day again. 

 

[hilltop]

Day 11
REally would like to self medicate today by looking at porn.  But I really don't want to do it too.  Hope I can get thru today.

 

[noises1990]

Hey there man! Don't do it! Don't fall again into the pit! You're strong and brave and you can overcome this issue!!

If you've got some time you should totally check out the articles on YBOP(www.yourbrainonporn.com). Get as much information as you can on this pestilence!!
Also, if you need some encouragement you can always check out Gabe's videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo

 

[hilltop]

I fell - I'm so scared of this addiction!  I'm back to day 1. 

Everything I see and hear is sexualized.  I'm an aldulterer and a pervert.  I don't like talking about myself negatively but it's true.  I'm scared this addiction will kill me.  That's my biggest fear.

 

[SO Reboot Partner]

I fell - I'm so scared of this addiction!  I'm back to day 1. 

Everything I see and hear is sexualized.  I'm an aldulterer and a pervert.  I don't like talking about myself negatively but it's true.  I'm scared this addiction will kill me.  That's my biggest fear.

Hilltop,

Day one is better than day none. You might have more "day ones" but they can become less and less frequent.

You have some extra challenges, concentrating on healing and continuing to take this one day at time helps.

take care,
SORP

 

[hilltop]

I'm so scared this morning.  Day 2.  My mind and my feelings are all over the board.  I appreciate you guys' support and help in this.  I'm crying right now and am scared of the unknown.  How does my schizophrenia and the meds I'm on play a role in all this?  Know one really knows.  I feel all alone.

 

[noises1990]

Relax bro... My mind and feelings are all over the board also... Sometimes I m very scared of the unknown too... I've got days with 2-3 panic attacks, besides the general anxiety. And I've never been diagnosed with schizophrenia...

Yes, I believe that in your particular case these feelings are somehow enhanced and worse than how I feel them... But we all get them sooner or later during the reboot! Stay strong dude! Stay confident! You're gonna be alright!

 

[savingmysoul]

Hang tough Hilltop - and welcome to the nation.

You will have days like this, and they are going to suck - you can hang strong.

Get up and get out if you can, if even for a little bit.  try to fill that time with healthy positive thoughts/activities.

We are all here to help, and support one another.

You can do this!