raven song
Active Member
Hi All,
I've been processing the latest betrayal discovered 10 days ago. I have requested full therapeutic disclosure with poly and he has agreed. I also requested that he enroll in a group led by his therapist and that he goes to couples counseling with me.
But today - my gut tells me he is using something and hiding it from me. I don't know what. I'm having a really hard time because it has become very clear that his energy is not into healing and creating a truly loving and caring relationship. He hasn't expressed at all any sort of enthusiasm for group and couples therapy. If his heart isn't into it - then it's obvious his heart isn't into building a healthy relationship.
I used to believe that with the right therapeutic help - we could heal and create an amazing life together. I would have said our chances were 100% that would happen. Now I'm at 50% and that is based on his lack of enthusiasm and motivation.
I would like to give him one more chance to figure this out - but I don't want to be taken for any rides any more. I don't want to be sleeping in the same bed with a man who is sneaking off and masturbating and not telling me about it. (which is what happened this morning, I'm pretty sure.) I don't want to be continuing to work so hard at a relationship when he is lying and hiding this behavior from me.
I need to talk to a family lawyer and find out what my rights are in the event of separation and divorce. I need to see what options I have to make it official a promise my husband made to me this summer - which was that he would support me financially for a couple of years if our relationship were to end because he continued to betray me.
Does anyone here have any good web or book resources geared towards women who are in manipulative/dishonest relationships?
I've been processing the latest betrayal discovered 10 days ago. I have requested full therapeutic disclosure with poly and he has agreed. I also requested that he enroll in a group led by his therapist and that he goes to couples counseling with me.
But today - my gut tells me he is using something and hiding it from me. I don't know what. I'm having a really hard time because it has become very clear that his energy is not into healing and creating a truly loving and caring relationship. He hasn't expressed at all any sort of enthusiasm for group and couples therapy. If his heart isn't into it - then it's obvious his heart isn't into building a healthy relationship.
I used to believe that with the right therapeutic help - we could heal and create an amazing life together. I would have said our chances were 100% that would happen. Now I'm at 50% and that is based on his lack of enthusiasm and motivation.
I would like to give him one more chance to figure this out - but I don't want to be taken for any rides any more. I don't want to be sleeping in the same bed with a man who is sneaking off and masturbating and not telling me about it. (which is what happened this morning, I'm pretty sure.) I don't want to be continuing to work so hard at a relationship when he is lying and hiding this behavior from me.
I need to talk to a family lawyer and find out what my rights are in the event of separation and divorce. I need to see what options I have to make it official a promise my husband made to me this summer - which was that he would support me financially for a couple of years if our relationship were to end because he continued to betray me.
Does anyone here have any good web or book resources geared towards women who are in manipulative/dishonest relationships?