80 days without PMO. Any doubts.

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Alex48

Member
Hi. Y m a lot of doubt about how to continue with the reboot. I m on 75 days without PMO. I feel very well, all mornings with a strong wood, feeling my libido high. This last month the changings are feeling a lot, i feel that it s a very good signal. But i don t know how to start my sexual life again. I don t have a partner, and don t know wich way can be better.
The body already begins to ask me at least M, I touched this morning just a little and then a little material came out. It was not O. So, I do not want to make mistakes that are at least rude.
Arrived at 90 days, how to start? If I masturbate without P before meeting someone could throw everything away? I would like to try to meet someone even to have sex. The truth is that my last three experiences were very hard because I had almost no erections and they left me very low. But like everyone here I suppose I love having sex and I want to get them back. I have read that sexual recovery is progressive, and I am worried that it will not work the first time.
I m 48 yo. I accept suggestions!
 
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Reboot_Dude

Active Member
I would say don't treat 90 days as the end, keep going, don't masturbate. Put all your effort into dating and finding someone real, even if it only turns out to be something casual or something non-sexual, the re-wiring process is the next step.
 
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marco_60

Active Member
Alex48: you raise a question which I have also posed to myself: which is the connection between reboot and sexual performance?
Being my first post here, first a very short presentation. I am 57, addicted to porn since 10 years, and at day 14 of rebooting - an absolute beginner. I am divorced since more or less the same time, and I had few partners, always looking for a stable relationship. Sex was all right at the beginning, but as I progressed into porn all the common symptoms pf PIED showed up.  I touched the bottom one week ago, when I was with my girlfriend for four days and I never could reach an erection (the week before I looked at porn at least 2 hours per day, until the day before her arrival). She has left me obviously, and this very dramatic experience pushed me to try seriously reboot.
I have recently been checked for my ED and the clinical examinations do not find any serious urological problem. The doctor then generically concluded that I should see a sex therapist.

My addiction was not systematic: rather I had periods of few weeks when I was looking porn 1-2 hours per day, followed by some intermissions. Since I started reboot I already see some results, in particular since a couple of days I have again very satisfactory morning woods, thus I am more and more motivated to continue. I have to say that I do not find difficult for the moment to live without my daily dose of porn. I have also a very creative job which is a great replacement for porn, thus I am not tempted to go back (but maybe it is still early ?).

I went through the basic videos of the website here, particularly those explaining the neurological mechanisms pf PIED. The impression I gained from those videos is that an active sexual life comes immediately after an effective reboot, as a consequence of the lowered levels of dopamine. But one ingredient of a relationship is also self-confidence (for me at least), not only concerning sex, because this produces self-esteem, and this enables a man to get into sex without worries. Am I correct? Or I should rather imagine that once my brain has forgotten porn sexual desire will immediately come back?

In any case, I will definitely continue rebooting. I regard it as a necessary condition to regain my normal status, although it may not be sufficient.
 
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Alex48

Member
Thanks for your response Marco60 . I m in the 87 day without PMO. It  was easy to do, y think it was because y m really want to change this situation. My story is similar  than yours, the difference is that i m gay, but i supose that it s the same for all we are here .i ve been 10 years aproximately using P for 1 or 2 hours a day, not all the days, but sufficent to get PIED. My 3 last experience were terrible, although another experiences time ago before that were told me that there were problems.
I like to be in pair, and i agree with you that sex is not all. But! ... y m spinning how to start to meet somebody and have a good sexual relation. My confidence felt undermined. I ask me if the contact pages works. I used it time ago and people on the net are really dispersed and without desire of relation, even i m relative atractive, but because of my age may be or that today things works only using the net to contact, i can t find another option.
I accept suggestions !!! hehe.
And about you, continue in the way. After all, y think this is the unique way to change this behavior with P.
I have an atractive profession and projects too, and that help. Agree with you.
Thanks again and write with your progress!
 
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marco_60

Active Member
Hi Alex!, and thank you for your answer. Sexual orientation should not make any difference, if the neurological mechanism for PIED explained in these pages is correct! Like many others I also have friends who are gay, and until now there are no known structural differences in brains depending on sexual orientation  :D . Definitely I will not leave the reboot: I know sufficiently myself and I afforded more difficult challenges in life than this.of
 
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Alex48

Member
That s true Marco60. There is no difference. In my situation, on 90 days free of PMO,  just tinking about how to restart my sexual life. Because y  m not in pair now and y don t know if M (never more P, that is not an option) after reboot could be a good idea, or just try an encounter. In my case y think like you, y want to find a partner, but until that, what y suppose to do?.  A little worry about that, was easy but not pleasant this 90 days, and don t want to trash this done work.
Just thinking, y know nobody have the true, but may be any tips to take care about what is allow o not to the sucess in this way.
In your case, you seem strong about the decision. That s very good !!!!

Sorry if my english not very good! Y ussually speak spanish and y lost my english in this years.
 
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