57yo
- Thread starter marco_60
- Start date
Thank you for your support, MM1 and Seneca! You are right, Seneca, this re-acquired self-confidence can be conducive to relapse. But in my particular case I think the risk is not relapsing to PMO, because I feel more excited at the idea of real sex: instead it is the tendency to compulsively check the blogs, news, etc. which also contributes to the dopamine cycle . I am aware of this.
JedClampett
Active Member
Marco60:
I find it really encouraging that you do not feel tempted by Internet P. I have been worried about that. I like to think
that if you think something is going to be easy, chances are better that it will be easy.
For most of my life I did not do P of any kind. Sure I did start in my late teens but it was hard to get and I only saw it
infrequently. Internet P changed all of that. So for me serious P did not start until probably 2002 because it took some
time for me to really get in to it.
Maybe that's a sign that I can get a healthy sex life much sooner than I originally thought. No P forever though. I am
through with it!!!
I find it really encouraging that you do not feel tempted by Internet P. I have been worried about that. I like to think
that if you think something is going to be easy, chances are better that it will be easy.
For most of my life I did not do P of any kind. Sure I did start in my late teens but it was hard to get and I only saw it
infrequently. Internet P changed all of that. So for me serious P did not start until probably 2002 because it took some
time for me to really get in to it.
Maybe that's a sign that I can get a healthy sex life much sooner than I originally thought. No P forever though. I am
through with it!!!
Hello everyone! I was reading these messages and the truth is very interesting, because they show all the unknowns about the reboot. Starting from that it is true and I share, that this was installed that is 90 days in hardmode and you are ready! That is not true, although it is the most important step.
Nothing is expressed about what follows, or how to continue. The argument is that each person is different. And maybe it's fine. But we should remove that idea that they are 90 days only. I have to confess that it was very good to do them, I have 6 months without PMO, the first 3 months in hardmode, the next 3 times 4 times MO and a sexual encounter, which was not bad, but it took me 15 minutes to have a good erection and I used cialis.
I fully agree with Marco60 that the goal of this is to rediscover good sex, a good sex life. In my case I set the pattern of never more PMO, and to avoid that whirlwind of dopamine, which I believe I learned to recognize it physically. Now, about the rest, about if you do MO and then it appears flatline, or if you exceed a little here or there, it is impossible to know what is right. You can not stand idly by waiting for the day to come when you say: that's it! Or controlling everything to the millimeter. I'm getting used to the idea that it will be trial and error, that maybe I can fail sometimes more in the sexual (I would like it not), but I think there is no other way. I think that this should be talked about a lot more on this page.
Sorry is my english not very good!
Hugs boys!
Nothing is expressed about what follows, or how to continue. The argument is that each person is different. And maybe it's fine. But we should remove that idea that they are 90 days only. I have to confess that it was very good to do them, I have 6 months without PMO, the first 3 months in hardmode, the next 3 times 4 times MO and a sexual encounter, which was not bad, but it took me 15 minutes to have a good erection and I used cialis.
I fully agree with Marco60 that the goal of this is to rediscover good sex, a good sex life. In my case I set the pattern of never more PMO, and to avoid that whirlwind of dopamine, which I believe I learned to recognize it physically. Now, about the rest, about if you do MO and then it appears flatline, or if you exceed a little here or there, it is impossible to know what is right. You can not stand idly by waiting for the day to come when you say: that's it! Or controlling everything to the millimeter. I'm getting used to the idea that it will be trial and error, that maybe I can fail sometimes more in the sexual (I would like it not), but I think there is no other way. I think that this should be talked about a lot more on this page.
Sorry is my english not very good!
Hugs boys!
JedClampett
Active Member
Marco60:
You say you are agnostic. However a goal for all of us is to have the best and most healthy sex life possible.
Going without P will most certainly help that because sex is all in the mind!
I too am up there in years and shut out younger women. I am thinking that really makes sense. Yes, we
can marry or have relationships with these women (even 20 or younger). But in the long run it does not
do us any good. The reason is they are not on the same level as us. Do we really want a 20 year old to be
giving us life advice? (We can learn from anyone but would their advice be better than someone over 50 on
a consistent basis?
There are attractive women over 40 though that would do just fine and that is probably where we should
start going. Let's share our thoughts on this. I certainly do not know all and have my doubts too. I have often
thought that the better looking the woman, the more likely she would satisfy me. It's hard to shake that
belief when you have held it since the 8th grade!
But surely it's like hitting a baseball. Do you believe you can hit this pitcher or not?
You say you are agnostic. However a goal for all of us is to have the best and most healthy sex life possible.
Going without P will most certainly help that because sex is all in the mind!
I too am up there in years and shut out younger women. I am thinking that really makes sense. Yes, we
can marry or have relationships with these women (even 20 or younger). But in the long run it does not
do us any good. The reason is they are not on the same level as us. Do we really want a 20 year old to be
giving us life advice? (We can learn from anyone but would their advice be better than someone over 50 on
a consistent basis?
There are attractive women over 40 though that would do just fine and that is probably where we should
start going. Let's share our thoughts on this. I certainly do not know all and have my doubts too. I have often
thought that the better looking the woman, the more likely she would satisfy me. It's hard to shake that
belief when you have held it since the 8th grade!
But surely it's like hitting a baseball. Do you believe you can hit this pitcher or not?
JedClampett
Active Member
I'm finishing Day 5 w/o the P. My productivity is up 100%.
Reality is reality but my mind can be whatever it wants to be!!!
Reality is reality but my mind can be whatever it wants to be!!!
Day 101 The past week I had the visit of this friend of mine: she made clear since the begining that she wanted just have a week of holidays without sex. It was ok for me, she slept in the guest room. Eventually she left, and this morning I had some fantasies in my dreams and I had an erection (nothing instead while she was around). The good thing is that I feel my libido arising again: while I was around in some touristic places with my friend I started finally to notice a clear interest towards beautiful women in their forties. It is the first time I notice an increase of my libido since ages. Another sign of improvement, although slowly.
Thank yoy for your comments, A48 and JD! And no, I do not feel completely reboot-ed . As I just wrote, my libido is not yet fully back. However, tomorrow I will turn 58, and it could perfectly be that I already am in a phase of declining sexual capacity.
I agree with you, A48: everybody's path is different, and 90 days is just a rather generic prescription. And I agree with JC about very young women (which for me means in their 30s'), when one wakes up in the morning having a too young girl next what can one talk about? There are ladies my age who are also very physically fit. But you know which is the problem of mature ladies? Most of those who are single in my age are not used to live in a partnership. After a woman lives alone for many years she finds out that she prefers to be alone, and maybe have some flirts with younger men from time to time. Not all of them, but many: at least the few I met.
I agree with you, A48: everybody's path is different, and 90 days is just a rather generic prescription. And I agree with JC about very young women (which for me means in their 30s'), when one wakes up in the morning having a too young girl next what can one talk about? There are ladies my age who are also very physically fit. But you know which is the problem of mature ladies? Most of those who are single in my age are not used to live in a partnership. After a woman lives alone for many years she finds out that she prefers to be alone, and maybe have some flirts with younger men from time to time. Not all of them, but many: at least the few I met.
JedClampett
Active Member
Marco60:
Young women fight the urge to be attractive to older guys. But they never-the-less remain attractive because the older
man has many things a younger man does not. Yes the younger man does have the skin. But sometimes that is about
the only thing he has on an older man when it comes to women.
We have experience.
However what does the younger woman have for us older gents? In the long run she does not have anything for us.
She cannot take care of us the way an older (not necessary older as in older than us) woman could. Personally I hope
I hook up with someone within 15 years of my age. I do prefer that she be younger though.
Young women fight the urge to be attractive to older guys. But they never-the-less remain attractive because the older
man has many things a younger man does not. Yes the younger man does have the skin. But sometimes that is about
the only thing he has on an older man when it comes to women.
We have experience.
However what does the younger woman have for us older gents? In the long run she does not have anything for us.
She cannot take care of us the way an older (not necessary older as in older than us) woman could. Personally I hope
I hook up with someone within 15 years of my age. I do prefer that she be younger though.
Day 108 Yesterday evening I had the first date with a woman I was chatting with since a couple of weeks. The evening was fantastic: we met to know each other and to have some talk during dinner. No sex, I obviously neither tried, but I could finally verify that my libido seems to be back , under the normal, healthy circumstances of a courtship. I slowly feel every day more confident, although I am continuing along my reboot path, despite the good results obtained until now.
, under the normal, healthy circumstances of a courtship. I slowly feel every day more confident, although I am continuing along my reboot path, despite the good results obtained until now.Unfortunately things are not always that easy, SH2. When I started my hard reboot early this year I came out of four consecutive nights where I could not reach erection with my then gf, with whom I had a deep intimacy since many months. This is why now I am concerned about my sexual ability before meeting a woman I like. Women say that sex is not that important for them, but they lie: they want to have good sex...sheep22 said:
T
Totte
Guest
Marco60 said:Day 53 I feel my libido resuming, after the "dark ages" of the flatline, which lasted about three weeks. The past ten days I had winter holidays with my teenager daughters, and I forgot completely about my own problems
Here many people focus on reboot and monogamy, but I am single and not having a supporting partner (my ex girlfriend turned away when I could not get hard for four consecutive days, over New Year) seeds many doubts about how I will be after 90 days of hard rebooting. Maybe I should think of checking my progress, but how can I do? The idea of paying a woman to make sex has always had a depressive effect on me, there is no seduction in prostitution and I do not get excited if I do not seduce a woman. I do not know what to do :-[ .
Hi Marco60
Folowing you will help me i am 52y and i am married but i feel the same in many ways! I am impressed for the strangnes you shove!
I have the same question even do i am only restarting at day 1 when will there be a good time to test the it...
Cudos to you....
Totte
Hi Totte: the only thing I can tell you is BE STRONG, because you only can get positive resultsTotte said:
! I have now more than doubled the 53 days of reboot when I wrote the report you quote, and had no PMO at all during these 112 days. As I wrote many times I had no urges to PMO for the whole period, and very soon (3 days after having started the reboot) I had my first Morning Wood, which now are going on regularly. Later on I also had sex with 3 friends in the same night, and an even better session another day later. I continue to be single but I am looking for a girlfriend, also because I feel confident about myself.Thus my encouragement to you and everybody is: GO ON, the results will certainly come
! Some people write that just a moderate MO without P during reboot is not prejudicial of a good final result after (more or less) 90 days. I can only say: I do not know, I decided to go the hard way because my penis had become insensitive to any stimulation different from my own during M. Now when I get the soft hand of a woman on it I immediately get hard.
I think everybody by now understands that I regard sex as a healthy physiological activity per se: definitely I do not see sex without love as a sin. I did sex with friends with whom I had no emotional implications to test the effectiveness of reboot, and it gave me confidence. Had I had a supportive girlfriend next to me I would not have tried to lay with three friends in one night, but I am not as lucky as you guys who have your spouses besides you.
T
Totte
Guest
Marco60 said:Hi Totte: the only thing I can tell you is BE STRONG, because you only can get positive resultsTotte said:
Thus my encouragement to you and everybody is: GO ON, the results will certainly come
Some people write that just a moderate MO without P during reboot is not prejudicial of a good final result after (more or less) 90 days. I can only say: I do not know, I decided to go the hard way because my penis had become insensitive to any stimulation different from my own during M. Now when I get the soft hand of a woman on it I immediately get hard.
I think everybody by now understands that I regard sex as a healthy physiological activity per se: definitely I do not see sex without love as a sin. I did sex with friends with whom I had no emotional implications to test the effectiveness of reboot, and it gave me confidence. Had I had a supportive girlfriend next to me I would not have tried to lay with three friends in one night, but I am not as lucky as you guys who have your spouses besides you.
Thanks Marco!
I do think you are doing great it will help reading true all material!
To see there is hope, helps.......
T
Day 122 Two days ago I had two more full sexual intercourses with the same friend of mine who came to find me (she lives in another town, took a short holiday). I can then say now that I am confident in my regained sexual capacity. Since the beginning of reboot I have not only suppressed PMO, but also MO without P, and now it is sufficient for me the intimacy with a normal, real woman to get excited and hard. It is already the fourth time since the first time (day 63) that I do this, although not regularly because I still do not have a partner/girlfriend. But at least now can look for a partner without being anxious about myself.
This does not mean that I have no problems : it took me 90 minutes and a lot of hugs after the first O to get again hard. But after all I am 58 yo., and a decrease in my sexual capacities is natural.
This does not mean that I have no problems
: it took me 90 minutes and a lot of hugs after the first O to get again hard. But after all I am 58 yo., and a decrease in my sexual capacities is natural.Day 126 Things go as usual, and I start to date a woman of my age, quite attractive. We had no sex yet, obviously, but now that I feel more confident in myself I can concentrate easily on the emotional contents of a relationship. And this is a great step forward for me .
Also, since few weeks I finally sleep much better, and this is I think also a positive side effect of the regained confidence in my sexual capacity: I feel no more anxious about it .
. Also, since few weeks I finally sleep much better, and this is I think also a positive side effect of the regained confidence in my sexual capacity: I feel no more anxious about it
.milogasker
Member
Hi Marco, enjoying your posts. I am a similar age and have been worried that it's a physical thing, therefore little confidence when it comes to having sex. However, I am getting good morning wood back and I just long for the time when I'm at 100+ days and I feel I can perform at the drop of a hat. Until then, its' keeping focused on reboot for me...!!!
Milo
Milo
Hi Milo and Marco. Mousemat1 sent me an article about the age and our "friend`s" response . It clarifies the panorama a lot. I do not know if it is encouraging hehe but highly recommended to read it. I am 49 years old and I think we are in the same range.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201205/erection-changes-after-50-the-facts
Marco, excellent your achivements! You said it very clearly, put the emphasis on other things in relation to a meeting, knowing that confidence is strengthened.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201205/erection-changes-after-50-the-facts
Marco, excellent your achivements! You said it very clearly, put the emphasis on other things in relation to a meeting, knowing that confidence is strengthened.
JedClampett
Active Member
Marco60:
You are right in every count that you are seeing positive signs due to the fact that you have avoided
P. Always beware of a relapse. Like the alcoholic we want that fix even though it makes no sense.
Here is something I read which is encouraging me today:
"Self-deprecation is one thing, self-defamation is another. Don't lower others expectations of you by doing it for them. Talking your self down (or excessively up) both smack of insecurity.
Avoid making sweeping, negative generalizations about yourself from one isolated incident. Accept your imperfections and focus on potential, not limitations. Don't feel compelled to mask your mistakes, view them as hard-earned progress towards an even better you. And resist the natural temptation to compare yourself to others--compare only to who you were yesterday.
You also must be cognizant to avoid beating down others in an attempt to preserve your own self-confidence. Start by taking responsibility for your actions. The question isn't 'who's to blame' but 'what's to be done?'
The bottom line is that you'd never want to make someone else that's extraordinary feel ordinary--why should it be any different for you?"
Do keep on doing what you are doing. R E S P E C T yourself. That is what I intend to do and if
I have to play CDs daily to get he mind set that is what I will do!!!
You are right in every count that you are seeing positive signs due to the fact that you have avoided
P. Always beware of a relapse. Like the alcoholic we want that fix even though it makes no sense.
Here is something I read which is encouraging me today:
"Self-deprecation is one thing, self-defamation is another. Don't lower others expectations of you by doing it for them. Talking your self down (or excessively up) both smack of insecurity.
Avoid making sweeping, negative generalizations about yourself from one isolated incident. Accept your imperfections and focus on potential, not limitations. Don't feel compelled to mask your mistakes, view them as hard-earned progress towards an even better you. And resist the natural temptation to compare yourself to others--compare only to who you were yesterday.
You also must be cognizant to avoid beating down others in an attempt to preserve your own self-confidence. Start by taking responsibility for your actions. The question isn't 'who's to blame' but 'what's to be done?'
The bottom line is that you'd never want to make someone else that's extraordinary feel ordinary--why should it be any different for you?"
Do keep on doing what you are doing. R E S P E C T yourself. That is what I intend to do and if
I have to play CDs daily to get he mind set that is what I will do!!!