Here we go again for another reboot

[Gunner]

First one was three years ago and went for 6 months. Sex was great after a month but it was a struggle to keep off porn after month 4. Then last year went off for a couple months. Sex was not that great like the first reboot so I went back to PMO. Now trying again starting 1/1 to see how long I can go. I find it easy for the first few weeks since it feels refreshing and I am optimistic about not having PIED once again. But after a while I get bored and lonely and slowly drift back to Porn and all it's wonders.

So I am trying a new way to think of it. Every day without porn is like putting a dollar into a compounding interest account. At first there is not much money and very little interest earned. But slowly over time the money starts compounding and, lo and behold, you find yourself rich. If you take the money out and spend...bank account goes back to zero and you will have to start all over. So I want to watch my psychological wealth grow with interest and I know a few minutes of PMO will wipe out my whole account.

Good luck saving friends!

 

[marco_60]

I am in a very early phase (day 14), and I find your comments about your past rebootings very interesting, because I could see myself in few months. Yet, I am really over 40 (57), and the motivation for sex drive  for ma has changed since I was in my forties. I think that this also matters: when I was  younger what drives mostly is sexiness, beauty. Now I also need some empathy to get driven. Thus I am not sure that if I succeed for 90+ days without relapse I will be as before....Maybe all of us have different motivations to reboot.

 

[Gunner]

Ya I get you Marco. But what I don't understand is Porn does not give empathy...it gives eye candy and fantasy. So shouldn't it be easier to not PMO at your age?

Porn has wired my brain for young beautiful girls and lots of variety...that does not happen in real life unless one forks over major dough. So the wiring is there and real life makes my sausage soft and empathy would do nothing to my manhood. But I am curious to see when my wiring gets undone, what will be left to turn me on...maybe empathy or something else.

 

[marco_60]

Indeed I do not feel missing PMO, Gunner, at least until now (day 14). 

When I started 10 years ago I was freshly divorced after a long marriage, during which I was loyal to my now ex-wife, also during the final four years before the wreckage. I felt very repressed and I started both to look for a girlfriend AND to see porn. I have a very creative job where I always see the same few people, thus I was relying on dating sites to meet women, something which is not conducive to stable relationships (IMMO).

Thus I started to use more and more PMO: like many others here this was an inspiral move which created a very serious addiction.
I feel the same symptoms as you do: even when I cross the eyes of a beautiful woman, my sausage stays quiet. However when I was using PMO (until 2 weeks ago) I neither got hard just looking P, only with P+M. Like you, I wait to see where reboot will bring me, but I do not hide that I secretly hope that I will at least partially get hard when I see a beautiful, elegant woman in the street.

 

[Gunner]

Thanks for sharing Marco. I think PMO, like most addictive substances, cannot be just dabbled with...it is a toggle switch not a dimmer. You either go full blown PMO or absolutely nothing at all. Today's porn is so easily accessible and created by smart people to be so incredibly addictive...

Dating sites are dangerous as well since all those sites populate their apps with fake profiles of model quality young sexy pictures. When sifting thru those fake profiles to find a real girl, you are going to trigger those porn addictive synapsis.

So keep saving daily, keep investing by not watching, and see great rewards in the future.

 

[joepanic]

Hey Gunner

          I like your theory of comparing  giving up porn with  saving dollars  it kind of puts a simple solution to a complicated problem  an easy starting point if you will    This is my 1st really solid attempt at giving it up for good  I have tried in the past and go no more than a few weeks    now I'm about to hit a month  and I am seeing small changes already  I'm hoping those small changes become bigger ones as time goes on    Digging deeper into my hobbies is slowly  showing results    my focus levels  and amount of  time I can concentrate on something are still small  but they are ever so slowely getting better      time will tell    Good luck in your savings  the interest will soon build



          Cheers

                  Post often  it helps me it helps you 

 

[Gunner]

"Celebrating" one month of no PMO, no MO, and no M. Had sex once with a couple different girls and it was easy to cum eventhough they were no attractive. Now I am just sort of bored with women which makes me feel depressed. I like the attention and affection from someone I care about but there is nobody out there to do that. So a slight itch for watching porn again is starting to develop. Porn gives me some sense of satisfaction which I am not getting from any person. So far I have been diligent but I am starting to edge a bit...

 

[Gunner]

So far so good. I have had some urges to drift to a porn site with the thought...hey...I got this licked, whats the harm, I am bored and need of something sweet so just for a minute. Then I think..that is the devil talking and I know where that leads. So...so far so good.

Still got to cure the boredom. I have also cut back alot on drinking. I am thinking if I reduce my pleasure points I can increase my happiness receptors.

But it is scary...I don't feel turned on by women. I feel like I am losing interest in physical contact which should be the opposite of what happens when you drop PMO. Oh well...lets see how this goes.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Gunner,

there is a big difference between hard up addiction and basic appreciation.

You are moving towards appreciation.
It is far more healthier and beneficial than addiction.
We appreciate the person as a whole, versus just the physical, versus for our selfish consumption benefits.

Also it is another good sign:
you losing interest in one thing usually means you gaining interest in another area.
Whatever it is you are doing sounds good.
Keep it up !

 

[Gunner]

Thanks TakeActionNow. I feel like I will always have an addiction to porn like an alcoholic will always be addicted to alcohol. It is just a matter of choice...whether I want to watch or not.

But what is different about this reboot vs the other two I had is in this reboot, I am also not really interested in sex with women either. Sort of like I am not into the whole concept of visual attraction which leads to an orgasmic release. The whole idea seems calorie free. And that is depressing. I also think with my advancing age I am much less attractive to beautiful women. So what is available to me is just blahhhh. Which is the allure of porn...beautiful women one can sort of be with.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Gunner,
I'm gonna pose some hard questions for you:
1. What does checking out woman on the internet do functionally for you
2. Why should beautiful woman be the focus of our lives?
3. What better use of our time can we find?
4. What give meaning to living?

If I'm 50 and will live to 70, that leaves me only 7,000 days on this earth. And that wont be full 7,000 days. I'll be busy, I'll need to work, I'll be sick, i may even become senile.
Or I'll be dead before that.
In these precious limited time, should checking chicks out on the internet be the reason for living?
What other reasons and meaning can you find?

 

[Gunner]

The other day I was just sitting on the sofa after a unrestful night of sleep and as I was watching some boring movie I decided to just take him out and get him hard. The movie was War for The Planet of The Apes so there was absolutely nothing erotic about it. Regardless I could have kept working him until I came but I stopped short.

Reboot does work...eventhough I had nothing visually stimulating and I wasn't turned on, I could have came just by the sensation of rubbing him. That never would have happened under the influence of porn.

But reboot is a long and difficult thing. I have been clean for 7 weeks and everyday is still a challenge to not go to porn. But it is worth it.

 

[Free-man2018]

I hope it. because it's real difficult to stay away of the temptation. Almost 4 weeks clean for me and still have ups and downs in my character.
I think the end is not an end day (90 days or whatever) but it's the path of good habits and a change in the state of mind.
Go ahead man.
Cheers.