Please hold my hand, I need it

[nomox3]

Mouchas ? You still with us man?

I have had some of the same thoughts, and porn habits as you. I thought that no woman would ever be attracted to me. But i found out that most woman have this incredible nurturing ability, and they don't think at all like we do!

They see something different then what we think they in us. You have hope! I'm new, but reading these blogs gave given me hope! If I even get half the benefits back from rebooting, I will count myself blessed for the second chance ive been given!

We are still young, and we both can still have an amazing life! Dont give up!

Mouchas?

 

[mouchas]

After leaving the land with my new sailboat , now the old porn and fetish land seems fogy, hoping to step on another land.
After all relapses and sadness, I have closed all the ways to the relapse. I had to throw away everything, lets see what happens. I wish success to all my friends.

 

[mouchas]

After so much time, I wanted to add things that I have learned to my journal. Personally for all those years that have passed I did not know really how bad my addiction was. Now I am not watching any porn. This is an accomplished goal but looking at any picture from internet starts the spark for sure which than leads to a relapse.

It is interesting I have no libido left but why I crave for these type of things ? I am always asking myself after the 90 days goal will everything be normal. I went as far as 35 days things changed a bit but after relapsing all came back to me. Honestly I say to my self where do you know, did you pass 90 days no, so ?

I have realised the rewiring process is solid, neurological but what it requires is remapping. RE-MAPPING of thoughts and behaviours which is psycholocical. One is solid the other is not. I am learning this remapping day by day.

I remap my desire towards fetishes, I tell to my self " Do you know how nice is the real thing? The real thing with so much love that songs, books are wirtten for. It must be amazing.

My GOD please help me, at least one day I want to feel that emotion happen to me before I die.

 

[fapfreezone]

I find myself so ugly

you can "learn" looks. Dress smart casual, not casual casual. e.g. short sleeved Shirt, smart shoes, jeans, smart jacket instead of trainers, jeans, t-shirt, hoodie. Also, start taking care of your skin, I really think it works. Use a separate facial wash and non-greasy moisturiser and, for even better results, exfoliate twice per week (if you use beads, everyday with chemical exfoliation). Change your hairstyle if it isn't fashionable. If you don't like your hair colour, dye it. If you are overweight, eat healthier and get down the gym. While you're at it, see a personal trainer and get your posture fixed if you need to. Consider accessorizing. Not too much, perhaps just a watch. You could also wear an appropriate necklace (e.g. military dog tags), bracelet, thumb ring, etc. But not all of those. Get your teeth straightened and whitened if you need to. Take care of your facial hair. Use an antiperspirant. Then show us the before and after photos!

Now, if a stereotypically unattractive guy did all the above stuff, wouldn't you say he'd look a ton better? I know he still wouldn't be Ryan Reynolds, but I still think doing all that stuff would have be such a big improvement for a typical unattractive guy that he'd have to admit, if he followed my advice, that you can learn looks quite a lot.

 

[nomox3]

I am praying for you man. This is a solid goal to have! I like what you say about remapping. You have to change your desires. Food is a good example,  You can change what you like too eat. At one time I only liked fatty meat, never eating vegetable. Always going to fast food places. But that changed because I forced myself to try new things and speed the old habits. Now I eat lean meats, and really enjoy veggies! Most of them any ways.

It's the same with sexual desires. We can change what we want with them too. I was dealing with my email the other day and ran across a story I had emailed to my self. It was a fetish story and not knowing what it was, I began to read it. When I realised what it was about, I deleted it right away. But it reminded me of the whole story, and brought up that whole way of thinking again. I just messed up online a few days before, and what I found myself looking for was beautiful women. But now my mind was back on the gross stuff. I know it will heal, because there had already been a whole lot of healing done!

You can do this! It may take more than 90 days, but the point is that porn is poisonous your brain! 90 days is the first step, the rest of your life is the goal! Women will notice your confidence, confidence that comes from lack of shame. All you need is the right woman, and to get her, you need to be the right man. You are an inspiration man! You got this!

 

[mouchas]

Last week I saw the little change after trying to reboot ( failing most of the time ) I am sorry that I lost it again after heavy porn and fetish. I don't know what to do or say. At least I saw that it may come back.

 

[pinkerton]

I know how it feels. It feels like we're failing and we're running out of ideas for how to change and so it starts to seem hopeless. But, you Did see a little of what can happen when we get on the right path. And now that you know that your life can change, it will.
Are you still trying to reboot? Is your use of pornography and other stimuli as often as it used to be?