Looking at women

[DepressedAndOut]

Hello,


What on earth do we have to do here? Is it better for the recovery to look at real women, with no fantasizing of course, or do i avoid it??

Please advice.

Thank you.

 

[Numez]

Is it better for the recovery to look at real women, with no fantasizing of course, or do i avoid it??

Nothing wrong with looking at real women with no fantasizing.

 

[scorpion1386]

Fantasizing = relapse? How so? Or does it potentially lead to a relapse? So if I imagine someone having sex or an imagine of someone sucking genitals for like 5 seconds, do I have to start over from day 1?

 

[malando]

Fantasizing = relapse? How so? Or does it potentially lead to a relapse? So if I imagine someone having sex or an imagine of someone sucking genitals for like 5 seconds, do I have to start over from day 1?

It's really about what you're trying to accomplish. If your goal is to completely abstain from sexualised thinking while you reboot, the yes, you'd have to reset your counter. If your goal was to only abstain from porn, you wouldn't have too. But this is splitting hairs. Ultimately, if we are honest with ourselves, we know when we are crossing the line in order to get a dopamine rush. It's when you cross your own lines that you need to reset your own counter - that's not for others to decide. But the most successful people end up forgetting about their counters at some point and just focus on staying clean and living in a healthier way. There is no rule book, just wise and unwise courses of action.

 

[scorpion1386]

Fantasizing = relapse? How so? Or does it potentially lead to a relapse? So if I imagine someone having sex or an imagine of someone sucking genitals for like 5 seconds, do I have to start over from day 1?

It's really about what you're trying to accomplish. If your goal is to completely abstain from sexualised thinking while you reboot, the yes, you'd have to reset your counter. If your goal was to only abstain from porn, you wouldn't have too. But this is splitting hairs. Ultimately, if we are honest with ourselves, we know when we are crossing the line in order to get a dopamine rush. It's when you cross your own lines that you need to reset your own counter - that's not for others to decide. But the most successful people end up forgetting about their counters at some point and just focus on staying clean and living in a healthier way. There is no rule book, just wise and unwise courses of action.

I see. Makes sense. I don't know how it's even possible to completely abstain from sexual thoughts, they just happen you know?

I also have a PIED and I wonder if I should just abstain from PMO and let sexual thoughts just come (and go). I haven't had an orgasm to porn since December 31st. My case is severe. No libido and penis shrinkage.

I can't help but have the occasional sexual thought with no penis reaction. I hope that doesn't hurt my progress. I'm sure people have had severe PIED and had the occasional sexual thought and just changed their reaction. I can't imagine a relapse as someone just think of an image of someone sucking someone's dick for not even 5 seconds. Unless they take it further.

 

[Numez]

if I imagine someone having sex or an imagine of someone sucking genitals for like 5 seconds, do I have to start over from day 1?

That is crazy to consider. It is obvious but worth mentioning that 5 seconds of fantasizing is not a relapse. There is no successful rebooter in the world who never imagined something like that for 5 seconds during their reboot.