olafthewise
Active Member
it was stupid but my grad school recommended law enforcement jobs. So at 55 and as a very fit guy, ok. The fitness workouts they offer for free on two days of the week was good for me and I did well. It ended in flames. Backgrounds, had to lie about me and that's what they did to get rid of me. No complaints on the men/women in the field, but I have a few things I could say about the Police backgrounds panel. Its over.
Anyway, it all failed, no other job prospects, just a $12/hr night job. I cannot pay back my student loans with this job.
prayer has failed so many times over this last 8 years of unemployment and I have no other plans. Depression prompted me into porn again. This time from Pinterest.
So, I decided before things got really out of control, to delete Pinterest for awhile so my habits are retrained. So far so good.
sex with my wife has been...really boring so she doesn't help. So with a pathetic job and respect from my wife and kids is that I'm a dweeb with a dweeb job. God is ignoring me and life for me is ruined and I am a pathetic girly man who has been humiliated by 8 years of joblessness which generates a downgrade of masculinity everywhere. so last week I took notice of the explicit pics I was seeking on Pinterest and I am withdrawing from it all and that's it. So tiny pathetic job, sex is...so boring I have erectile problems and she is ignorant of the problem. I cannot say anything in the house without her rewording my own sentences, I get scolded by her and the kids including my adult children, will not take any advice from me. So the low self-esteem in me generated porn desires. In my depression, I see this and am not wanting to be enslaved again to porn viewing.
So I live with depression. I do not want to live anymore, but I have kids and they sort of keep me alive, especially my 14 year old daughter.
That's it for now. Hope this small bit of info helps someone.
Anyway, it all failed, no other job prospects, just a $12/hr night job. I cannot pay back my student loans with this job.
prayer has failed so many times over this last 8 years of unemployment and I have no other plans. Depression prompted me into porn again. This time from Pinterest.
So, I decided before things got really out of control, to delete Pinterest for awhile so my habits are retrained. So far so good.
sex with my wife has been...really boring so she doesn't help. So with a pathetic job and respect from my wife and kids is that I'm a dweeb with a dweeb job. God is ignoring me and life for me is ruined and I am a pathetic girly man who has been humiliated by 8 years of joblessness which generates a downgrade of masculinity everywhere. so last week I took notice of the explicit pics I was seeking on Pinterest and I am withdrawing from it all and that's it. So tiny pathetic job, sex is...so boring I have erectile problems and she is ignorant of the problem. I cannot say anything in the house without her rewording my own sentences, I get scolded by her and the kids including my adult children, will not take any advice from me. So the low self-esteem in me generated porn desires. In my depression, I see this and am not wanting to be enslaved again to porn viewing.
So I live with depression. I do not want to live anymore, but I have kids and they sort of keep me alive, especially my 14 year old daughter.
That's it for now. Hope this small bit of info helps someone.