prideandhonor
Member
Dear Friends,
Greetings! I have only just created an account here, with the faith that regular posts will assist me in my journey.
A bit about myself, by way of an introduction. I am 42 years old, reasonably successful in practically all spheres of my life. I have a wonderful family, a good stable career and am quite well off. I am also quite well respected in my own circle and healthy.
My addiction story is quite similar to guys in my age group. It started around age 16 or so (bit late by today's standards!!) with soft core cable porn, magazines and VHS tapes. It progressed with technology and then progressed even further around 2008 or so, when I discovered tube sites. Around 2010, I got hooked to chat sites, and that continues to be a major problem for me, even till date. When I binge, I spend about 75% of time on chats and the balance on Porn. Needless to say, I have multiple tabs open at the same time (A classic dopamine inducing ride...). I agree with user "Chat-addict" in that chats are way more addictive than porn, at least in my case.
Around 2013, I first started realizing that this habit was getting out of hand. Mind you, I was not aware of the research on porn and its bad effects on the brain. My analysis was more on the morality, personal belief and family front. the habit just did not gel with who I was as a person, spiritually or otherwise.
During 2013, I had reasonable periods of abstinence, but always eventually relapsed. As I kept analyzing this habit, I stumbled upon Gary Wilson, Gabe Deem, Noah Church and Matt Frad. I devoured their material and realized that the problem was way more than just a moralistic one. Over the years I have had periods of abstinence and relapses, my longest streak being 5 months. I have had a couple of 60 day streaks and several smaller ones of two to three weeks. Sadly, I have always relapsed. But gladly, I have always bounced back, more determined to fight hard.
Most guys speak of the PIED and DE problems, as the motivation behind kicking porn. Important as these are, I believe damage to the brain in terms of loss of gray matter and hypofrontality are way more important than PIED. After all, you can have sex only till a certain age, but you need your brain till you die. Perhaps that's a perspective of a guy over 40. At 20, its bound to be a different one.
The reason for posting here is to get motivated to stay on and never relapse, since as per Gary Wilson (god bless him!!), once an addict, always an addict, since the Delta Phos B pathways would take years to wear off, especially with a 25 year old addiction.
I hope to get faith and motivation from my co-passengers on this ride. I am touched to see the sensitivity and kindness with which guys treat each other, motivate folks when they are doing well, pick them up when they relapse. That's great friendship for people who are basically strangers, and yet are connected to each other by a common addiction.
God bless you all and thanks for being patient enough to read this.
Greetings! I have only just created an account here, with the faith that regular posts will assist me in my journey.
A bit about myself, by way of an introduction. I am 42 years old, reasonably successful in practically all spheres of my life. I have a wonderful family, a good stable career and am quite well off. I am also quite well respected in my own circle and healthy.
My addiction story is quite similar to guys in my age group. It started around age 16 or so (bit late by today's standards!!) with soft core cable porn, magazines and VHS tapes. It progressed with technology and then progressed even further around 2008 or so, when I discovered tube sites. Around 2010, I got hooked to chat sites, and that continues to be a major problem for me, even till date. When I binge, I spend about 75% of time on chats and the balance on Porn. Needless to say, I have multiple tabs open at the same time (A classic dopamine inducing ride...). I agree with user "Chat-addict" in that chats are way more addictive than porn, at least in my case.
Around 2013, I first started realizing that this habit was getting out of hand. Mind you, I was not aware of the research on porn and its bad effects on the brain. My analysis was more on the morality, personal belief and family front. the habit just did not gel with who I was as a person, spiritually or otherwise.
During 2013, I had reasonable periods of abstinence, but always eventually relapsed. As I kept analyzing this habit, I stumbled upon Gary Wilson, Gabe Deem, Noah Church and Matt Frad. I devoured their material and realized that the problem was way more than just a moralistic one. Over the years I have had periods of abstinence and relapses, my longest streak being 5 months. I have had a couple of 60 day streaks and several smaller ones of two to three weeks. Sadly, I have always relapsed. But gladly, I have always bounced back, more determined to fight hard.
Most guys speak of the PIED and DE problems, as the motivation behind kicking porn. Important as these are, I believe damage to the brain in terms of loss of gray matter and hypofrontality are way more important than PIED. After all, you can have sex only till a certain age, but you need your brain till you die. Perhaps that's a perspective of a guy over 40. At 20, its bound to be a different one.
The reason for posting here is to get motivated to stay on and never relapse, since as per Gary Wilson (god bless him!!), once an addict, always an addict, since the Delta Phos B pathways would take years to wear off, especially with a 25 year old addiction.
I hope to get faith and motivation from my co-passengers on this ride. I am touched to see the sensitivity and kindness with which guys treat each other, motivate folks when they are doing well, pick them up when they relapse. That's great friendship for people who are basically strangers, and yet are connected to each other by a common addiction.
God bless you all and thanks for being patient enough to read this.
