New Start

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 2/18/2018
Current Date ? 3/7/2018
17 days ? Porn free

3/8/2018, 12:25 AM

Attempt #1 ? 7 days
Attempt #2 ? 4 Days

So I?m still here, still fighting the good fight.  I had a strong week so far, three solid productive days.  I having been posting because I started working out in the mornings which is when I usually posted.  Don?t really have anything new to say, which I guess another reason I have been away.  Been eating better, been writing a little each night.  Still battling writers block, but I feel a break though coming.  I?ve been able to resit porn but Monday through Wednesday was usually not a problem for me.  El Goodo, you are right.  The danger zone for me is after midnight, and I try to be in bed before then during the week.  I?ll try to get back to post every day as the regular accountability is truly helping me out.

Thanks for the support El Goodo, just got to make it one day at a time.


Goals for 3/7/2018 ?
- Don?t view any porn images
- No sweet items
- No Juice/Soda
- Spend at least 1 hour working on novel

Rome was not built in a day, I did not become who I am instantly and I won?t become who I want to be that way either.

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 2/18/2018
Current Date ? 3/9/2018
18 days ? Porn free

3/8/2018, 12:25 AM

Attempt #1 ? 7 days
Attempt #2 ? 4 Days

So?this was supposed to be the night.  I was planning on relapsing tonight.  The plan was to go to a strip club and then just flat out relapse.  I was prepared to write some bullshit excuse on Sunday after a 4-day binge.  But after leaving the strip club I decided I didn?t want to do it.  So, one things that may become clear as I keep writing and you keep reading is that I?m a little drunk right now.  I met a stripper, and I spent the night talking to her and then I got a dance from her.  It was a nice dance and a nice night and I told her I would come back next week.  And as I was leaving I decided I wasn?t going to relapse because there may be a chance if I play my cards right I could hook up with her.  Now, understand, even I?m not drunk enough to believe that I may actually have a shot.  But somehow I am drunk enough to hope, lol.  I?m not going to put any weight in this at all, that I actually might be able to hook up with her, but I?m going to use the fading light to get through another week.  It?s Thursday at 1am so I?m gearing up for the championship rounds of my reboot, and like a football player putting the opponents quotes on the wall, I?m looking for any motivation I can get right now.  I?m 18 days in going on 20+ days, so I?m going to need any ray of light I can get.

I would like to know what do you guys think about going to a strip club while rebooting.  I?m not really ready to go out and try and find an actual girl.  But strippers who job it is to pretend the like you work just find for me as I work myself into shape.  Like I said above, I?m no dumb enough to completely fall for the stripper game(i.e believing when they say they can?t wait to see me again) but I?m also willing to play along for hope, even if I know it?s only false hope.  So is it consensus that strip clubs are bad for you, or do some of you think that it?s not bad in moderation?

And to anyone wonder why even a little of me believe I have the slimmest shot with said stripper, I was making her laugh all night and I know laughter is the key to a woman?s heart, laughter and food.  The reason why I so doubtful is because she could just be good at her job.  But again, not banking on it ? just using it as fuel.

Goals for 3/7/2018 ?
- Don?t view any porn images
- No sweet items
- No Juice/Soda
- Spend at least 1 hour working on novel

Rome was not built in a day, I did not become who I am instantly and I won?t become who I want to be that way either.

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 4/16/2018 12:42 AM
Current Date - 4/16/2018 10:03 AM
0 Days Porn Free



Attempt #1 - 7 Days
Attempt #2 - 4 Days
Attempt #3 - 23 Days
Attempt #4 - 7 Days
Attempt #5 - 8 Days



So, it?s been over a month since my last post but here I am.  I made it as far as 23 days in that reboot attempt and I?ve been struggling to get to day 7 since.  So, I?m back for the accountability that posting brings.  So I?m going to try and post everyday of the next 90 days.  Succeed or fail, I will try and force myself to post something.  My latest reboot failed because of Instagram.  I?ve begun the processing of de-porning my Instagram account.  Every time I make it to double digits I go on a binge where I add a bunch of models and wanna-be porn stars to my account.  See, technically there is no nudity so I?m not cheating.  Obviously I realize that is wrong, but that addict bring be on another level.  So now I?m going through and getting rid of them all, which is shrinking my Instagram significantly.  I?m also back on my diet, that has suffered in the last month as well.

Goals for 4/16/2018 -
- Don?t view any porn images
- No sweet items
- No Juice/Soda

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 4/16/2018 12:42 AM
Current Date - 4/17/2018 10:35 PM
1 Day Porn Free

Attempt #1 - 7 Days
Attempt #2 - 4 Days
Attempt #3 - 23 Days
Attempt #4 - 7 Days
Attempt #5 - 8 Days

So far so good on the porn front, but I wasn?t entirely ready to begin the diet.  After posting yesterday I had soda and juice.  Today I had cookie and Cheetos.  Like I said, I was fine today dealing with porn, though the urges don?t kick in till day 4, and the goes into second gear around day 7.  But it?s all about preparation.  I haven?t completely de-porned my Instagram but I?m avoiding it when I?m at home and continue to clean it up at work, we don?t have a filter for that kind of thing.

I have a 10 week work out plan that starts Saturday, going to focus on the diet tomorrow.  Lunch was fine but I got weak when I came home for dinner.  Well, onto day 3.

Goals for 4/17/2018 -
- Don?t view any porn images
- No sweet items
- No Juice/Soda

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 4/16/2018 12:42 AM
Current Date - 4/20/2018 8:26 AM
4 Days Porn Free

Attempt #1 - 7 Days
Attempt #2 - 4 Days
Attempt #3 - 23 Days
Attempt #4 - 7 Days
Attempt #5 - 8 Days

Well, I already failed at commenting everyday but life got in the way.  Work was super stressful these past 2 days and as such my diet suffer greatly.  But I?ve been good on the porn front.  I had my first urge to PMO, it was minor and easy to suppress.  It was a mix of boredom and stress that made me think about giving in for a split second.  Maybe not so much boredom, I had just got home after working a 10 hour day and didn?t have the energy to do anything.  So as I browsed the internet the thought crept into the back of my head.  I?m trying to make note of the cause of all my urges so I can figure out my triggers.  The weekend is upon us so I have to stay on guard.

Goals for 4/20/2018 -
- Don?t view any porn images
- No sweet items
- No Juice/Soda

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 4/16/2018 12:42 AM
Current Date - 4/21/2018 7:56 PM
5 Days Porn Free

Attempt #1 - 7 Days
Attempt #2 - 4 Days
Attempt #3 - 23 Days
Attempt #4 - 7 Days
Attempt #5 - 8 Days

Today was a good day porn wise.  I had a few small urges this morning, but they faded quickly.  I had a friend come over and we hung out and that kept me honest.  Diet wasn?t so good but today is supposed to be a cheat day, even though I still haven?t officially start.  I know?But I did go for a 45 minute walk today and will be back at the gym tomorrow.  I have a 10 week workout program I start tomorrow.  Expect to see post about that soon.  The battle is not over, Saturday night  is upon me and I?ll probably come home a little drunk.  Have to stay focus

Goals for 4/21/2018 -
- Don?t view any porn images
- No sweet items
- No Juice/Soda

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 4/16/2018 12:42 AM
Current Date - 4/23/2018 7:18 AM
7 Days Porn Free

Attempt #1 - 7 Days
Attempt #2 - 4 Days
Attempt #3 - 23 Days
Attempt #4 - 7 Days
Attempt #5 - 8 Days

Survived the weekend, though I did view a little porn.  I?m very disappointed in myself but not going to dwell on it.  I know in doing so I only made the journey more difficult.  I realize now that the new battleground day for me is Sunday not Saturday.  I do nothing on both Saturday and Sunday but I guess by Sunday my brain is over the nothingness.  Oh well, yesterday was day 1 of my 10 week workout schedule, weight lifting: chest and bicep.  Today is cardio in the morning and weight lifting, back during lunch or after work if I can?t get free during lunch.  Going to really focus to day on my diet and the daily goals listed below.  Let?s get it?

Goals for 4/23/2018 -
- Don?t view any porn images
- No sweet items
- No Juice/Soda
- Spend at least 1 hour working on novel

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 4/23/2018 11:36 PM
Current Date - 4/23/2018 11:36 PM
0 Days Porn Free

Attempt #1 - 7 Days
Attempt #2 - 4 Days
Attempt #3 - 23 Days
Attempt #4 - 7 Days
Attempt #5 - 8 Days
Attempt #6 - 7 Days

Ok, well today was a completely failure one every front.  Rough day at work, plus a headache stopped me from working out twice.  And not working out plus a weak mind led me to relapse.  I?m not going to dwell, I did my strength training today, hopefully my headache will be gone tomorrow morning and I can do cardio in the morning and start the day right.  I have to be stronger?

 

[big54]

Last PMO Date - 4/23/2018 11:36 PM
Current Date - 4/25/2018 7:50 PM
1 Day Porn Free

Attempt #1 - 7 Days
Attempt #2 - 4 Days
Attempt #3 - 23 Days
Attempt #4 - 7 Days
Attempt #5 - 8 Days
Attempt #6 - 7 Days

So, here we go again, 1 day down.  I?m going to start charting my urges the best I can.  Only the ones I have when I?m at home, those are usually the ones that cause a slip up.  I do have some while driving or at work but those usually don?t cause me any problem.  Though I have had some on my way home that lingered for the rest of the night.  I have to attack this problem in a new way because what I was doing wasn?t working.  So right now I want to focus on getting back to double digits without viewing porn.