Patience_Is_Key
Member
HISTORY
I started this game just before my 9th birthday, as far as I can remember when I was playing Pacman World 2. Began experiencing strange fetishes by looking at game animations. Soon those fetishes changed and I started finding my school teacher attractive. Would fantasize for 1 hour every day before going to bed, and tickle my penis because I felt a "relaxing/soothing" sensation.
My dad was watching TV once and I as a child wanted to play with the remote, so I took it and dialed a random channel. The channel that I dialed turned out to be an adult channel which I put on by accident, and I saw for the first time big breasts exposed. Was pretty embarrassing but funny.
By the time I hit 13 years of age I ejaculated for the first time, and I used to tickle my penis to orgasm before going to sleep. I was in 8th grade at the time. One day in school an idiot showed me gay porn and straight porn for a few seconds on his phone, and that changed everything.
From there on my sexual tastes changed as i grew older. I once believed girls had penises and all other kinds of wierd stuff along the way. I began masturbating (the proper way, no more tickle) at home to femal dress magazines, pictures on the internet and at school in private.
I was so addicted that one time I was sitting in the front of the classroom next to the wall, and I slid my hand through my coat into my trousers and fapped to orgasm. Didnt know how the hell I wasnt caught, but thank god.
When I reached the age of 17 only then did I realize and ackowledged the fact that I was addicted. I left PMO for a year but kept edging by fantasizing. When I was 18 I saw an attractive female in a japanese advert and could not hold my self so I busted one that second. From there on I fap every day to every second day.
Now I am 21 and a heavy porn addict. On average I can go max 1 day without PMO, and my longest streak was 2 weeks a few months back. Fuck I cant control myself, in one hand is my smartphone, in my other hand is my d**k and I spend half of my day in my bedroom. Got studies to do but hell my mind is fucked, forces me to fap. Its like I have 2 personalities.
Once I fap, I just keep going till I almost pass out in my bed. Cant remember very well, poor concentration, have the heart of an old man, the voice of a fucking rat, I fucked up the collagen in my knees and other joints by ejaculating too much constantly for years, probably stunted my growth (Im 5'10''1/4).
PRESENT
No point attempting to go cold turkey yet. Havent researched enough about the brain on pornography. If I do I'l relapse within 2 days (been relapsing constantly for 2 years in torture). 2 days ago I was at my campus, researched about software tools to prevent me accessing porn. Found ColdTurkey and K9. I installed them on my computer, blocked Youtube, Social Media, blogs, newsfeed and all unnecessary sites including games to keep me productive. My smartphone is a major problem, so I decided to install a blocker on it, which prevents other users from accessing my apps and the internet. Since I am the problem (well when my mind craves and forces me to PMO) I created a new gmail account, made a password that I will never remember and then created another password for the blocker. This is so that when I try to access Google or Internet on my Android th blocker pops up and asks for a password. Because I made a random long password which I will never remember I cant even click on "forgot password" as the gmail itself requires a password which I dont remember. I blocked youtube, news, all social media and I even blocked Google Playstore, Appstore and Settings. Now I cant cheat the blocker as I cant even uninstall it, factory reset the android. I even hid the blocker app itself from showing in my android tabs by placing it in the Contacts, so i have to dial a secret code to access it (even that password I made to forget it).
Well, thats that. Wish I had done this 2 years ago. Now even if my mind craves the Porn, I cant physically access the material on my phone, nor on my computer. I feel a bit relieved. (Oh yes, I also made a random password for K9 which I will never remember, which is linked with the same gmail account whos password I dont remember).
Now, going to simultaneously research on effects of Porn on brain and attempt to hard reboot for 90 days no PMO no bullshit. Of course I dont expect to not relapse, ahhh damn time to show pain the fucking finger.
Starting from today. Going to post regular updates of progress.
I started this game just before my 9th birthday, as far as I can remember when I was playing Pacman World 2. Began experiencing strange fetishes by looking at game animations. Soon those fetishes changed and I started finding my school teacher attractive. Would fantasize for 1 hour every day before going to bed, and tickle my penis because I felt a "relaxing/soothing" sensation.
My dad was watching TV once and I as a child wanted to play with the remote, so I took it and dialed a random channel. The channel that I dialed turned out to be an adult channel which I put on by accident, and I saw for the first time big breasts exposed. Was pretty embarrassing but funny.
By the time I hit 13 years of age I ejaculated for the first time, and I used to tickle my penis to orgasm before going to sleep. I was in 8th grade at the time. One day in school an idiot showed me gay porn and straight porn for a few seconds on his phone, and that changed everything.
From there on my sexual tastes changed as i grew older. I once believed girls had penises and all other kinds of wierd stuff along the way. I began masturbating (the proper way, no more tickle) at home to femal dress magazines, pictures on the internet and at school in private.
I was so addicted that one time I was sitting in the front of the classroom next to the wall, and I slid my hand through my coat into my trousers and fapped to orgasm. Didnt know how the hell I wasnt caught, but thank god.
When I reached the age of 17 only then did I realize and ackowledged the fact that I was addicted. I left PMO for a year but kept edging by fantasizing. When I was 18 I saw an attractive female in a japanese advert and could not hold my self so I busted one that second. From there on I fap every day to every second day.
Now I am 21 and a heavy porn addict. On average I can go max 1 day without PMO, and my longest streak was 2 weeks a few months back. Fuck I cant control myself, in one hand is my smartphone, in my other hand is my d**k and I spend half of my day in my bedroom. Got studies to do but hell my mind is fucked, forces me to fap. Its like I have 2 personalities.
Once I fap, I just keep going till I almost pass out in my bed. Cant remember very well, poor concentration, have the heart of an old man, the voice of a fucking rat, I fucked up the collagen in my knees and other joints by ejaculating too much constantly for years, probably stunted my growth (Im 5'10''1/4).
PRESENT
No point attempting to go cold turkey yet. Havent researched enough about the brain on pornography. If I do I'l relapse within 2 days (been relapsing constantly for 2 years in torture). 2 days ago I was at my campus, researched about software tools to prevent me accessing porn. Found ColdTurkey and K9. I installed them on my computer, blocked Youtube, Social Media, blogs, newsfeed and all unnecessary sites including games to keep me productive. My smartphone is a major problem, so I decided to install a blocker on it, which prevents other users from accessing my apps and the internet. Since I am the problem (well when my mind craves and forces me to PMO) I created a new gmail account, made a password that I will never remember and then created another password for the blocker. This is so that when I try to access Google or Internet on my Android th blocker pops up and asks for a password. Because I made a random long password which I will never remember I cant even click on "forgot password" as the gmail itself requires a password which I dont remember. I blocked youtube, news, all social media and I even blocked Google Playstore, Appstore and Settings. Now I cant cheat the blocker as I cant even uninstall it, factory reset the android. I even hid the blocker app itself from showing in my android tabs by placing it in the Contacts, so i have to dial a secret code to access it (even that password I made to forget it).
Well, thats that. Wish I had done this 2 years ago. Now even if my mind craves the Porn, I cant physically access the material on my phone, nor on my computer. I feel a bit relieved. (Oh yes, I also made a random password for K9 which I will never remember, which is linked with the same gmail account whos password I dont remember).
Now, going to simultaneously research on effects of Porn on brain and attempt to hard reboot for 90 days no PMO no bullshit. Of course I dont expect to not relapse, ahhh damn time to show pain the fucking finger.
Starting from today. Going to post regular updates of progress.