Does fantasy in porn hijack us?

[zuti]

Hi.I succumbed to urge and binged yesterday . While abstaining I was 100% refusing all fantasy but as soon as I watched it started to throw me ideas of how Ill be meeting these women for x fantasy.

I mean, if Im not watching I want none of it except having cravings and some confusions but as soon as I watch and brain goes in similar pattern I start scheming how I should organize my life around some fantasy whether with porn or finding a femdom chick on some bdsm site and trying things out with her or maybe just stop femdom porn and leave the rest.

What is going on here ?

 

[zuti]

Do you guys know what I mean? I mean when we are abstaining we know fantasies arent ours but come from desensitization but if we fall off the wagon and binge we suddenly get fantasies taking over telling us how we want to act out on them and planning our whole future life like we want this to be part of it and not able to imagine ,from that state, giving it all away-even thought it isnt our natural desire anyway.

 

[zuti]

Someone said no porn fantasy or acting it out with a woman you find whether on bdsm site or escort/mistress wont fill you or make you whole. One other way that rings more true to me in helping to put it all away and stay off the obsession of needing the fantasies is to realize you will NEVER FIND CLOSURE WITH PORN OR ACTING OUT FANTASIES. Its impossible and I have done all of it.No need to do or try anymore of this crap that has "fucked me up" . So when I accept there is never a closure or feeling like "Oh now Im fullfilled and have done good with that and I can move on" so I just have to realize that NOW and permit myself to give it all up 100% right now. There never will be a better time to quit. Its always the same.