Almost 40 days in; HERE ARE MY TIPS!

innergothkid

innergothkid

Active Member
I can't believe it's been this long already. Feels like I started just last week. It hasn't always been easy, but the highs have always been so much higher, and so much more persistent, than the lows. I'm not here to share how awesome my life is now, you can read through my journal if you want that. What I'm here to do is post my tips. I just posted this in someone's journal, but thought it would be a good thing to share with everyone, especially those just starting out. So, without further ado...

  • Install adult filters on all computers/mobile devices (I use K9 and Anti-Porn Pro for Chrome)
  • Keep yourself busy out of the house, at least early on in the reboot (I went to comedy clubs a lot when I first started)
  • Take freezing cold showers every day (it sucks, but instills you with the feeling that you can do anything, regardless of how much it sucks)
  • Promise yourself that the only sexual activity you'll have will be with another flesh and blood person and hold yourself to it
  • Take up hobbies that make you feel complete (I've started working on my book and trying to make time for drumming)
  • Exercise, exercise, exercise (if you feel good about how you look, you'll feel more confident in life, and especially in pursuing relationships, which will make PMO obsolete)
  • Get a new wardrobe (ditto above, especially if your body composition has changed and you don't like how you look in anything you own)
  • Avoid alcohol IF it's a trigger (I've pretty much taken to drinking in public exclusively, so have time to sober up before I get home... but for some people the hangover is the trigger; know thyself)
  • Allow yourself to be confident with women (feel like you can get them, not that you have to MO while fantasizing about them; YMMV, but I don't avoid enjoying looking at a beautiful woman, I soak it in, and feel confident enough to get her should I choose; if I can get her, there's not reason to MO to her)
  • Read The Hedonism Handbook (it's horrible writing, but it did teach me a lot about living life, so I can't really knock it)
  • Post at least daily, if not twice daily, in your journal (once you get a solid streak, it's likely you'll fill your life with so many awesome things that you simply don't have time, but you should still make the effort)

There are more, I'm sure, but these are the big ones. Cold showers are probably the biggest ones. Do it. It sucks, but do it. Can't recommend it enough.

TAKE COLD SHOWERS, DAMMIT!


I don't really have any advice for dealing with relapses, because I haven't relapsed. At least, not this go around. I've tried to give up PMO a couple of other times in my life, but without all of the knowledge that I have now about how bad it is for you. The previous times, when I started to PMO again after giving it up, I didn't see it as a relapse, because I didn't see PMO as an addiction or something that I'd be giving up for life. It was just a personal challenge, I'd given it a go, and then I was back to PMO again. But those experiences were months and years apart. This time around, since I've made a concerted effort to give up PMO for good, I've had no relapses, and this list is what has helped me see it through. Hope it helps you guys too.
 
S

shmuck

Member
This is encouraging reading for me, I?m closing up on four weeks without PMO now and my setup and guidelines I?ve set up to me are quite similar to the ones you stated here.

Thank you :)
 
C

Chip

Guest
innergothkid said:
I can't believe it's been this long already. Feels like I started just last week. It hasn't always been easy, but the highs have always been so much higher, and so much more persistent, than the lows. I'm not here to share how awesome my life is now, you can read through my journal if you want that. What I'm here to do is post my tips. I just posted this in someone's journal, but thought it would be a good thing to share with everyone, especially those just starting out. So, without further ado...

  • Install adult filters on all computers/mobile devices (I use K9 and Anti-Porn Pro for Chrome)
  • Keep yourself busy out of the house, at least early on in the reboot (I went to comedy clubs a lot when I first started)
  • Take freezing cold showers every day (it sucks, but instills you with the feeling that you can do anything, regardless of how much it sucks)
  • Promise yourself that the only sexual activity you'll have will be with another flesh and blood person and hold yourself to it
  • Take up hobbies that make you feel complete (I've started working on my book and trying to make time for drumming)
  • Exercise, exercise, exercise (if you feel good about how you look, you'll feel more confident in life, and especially in pursuing relationships, which will make PMO obsolete)
  • Get a new wardrobe (ditto above, especially if your body composition has changed and you don't like how you look in anything you own)
  • Avoid alcohol IF it's a trigger (I've pretty much taken to drinking in public exclusively, so have time to sober up before I get home... but for some people the hangover is the trigger; know thyself)
  • Allow yourself to be confident with women (feel like you can get them, not that you have to MO while fantasizing about them; YMMV, but I don't avoid enjoying looking at a beautiful woman, I soak it in, and feel confident enough to get her should I choose; if I can get her, there's not reason to MO to her)
  • Read The Hedonism Handbook (it's horrible writing, but it did teach me a lot about living life, so I can't really knock it)
  • Post at least daily, if not twice daily, in your journal (once you get a solid streak, it's likely you'll fill your life with so many awesome things that you simply don't have time, but you should still make the effort)

There are more, I'm sure, but these are the big ones. Cold showers are probably the biggest ones. Do it. It sucks, but do it. Can't recommend it enough.

TAKE COLD SHOWERS, DAMMIT!


I don't really have any advice for dealing with relapses, because I haven't relapsed. At least, not this go around. I've tried to give up PMO a couple of other times in my life, but without all of the knowledge that I have now about how bad it is for you. The previous times, when I started to PMO again after giving it up, I didn't see it as a relapse, because I didn't see PMO as an addiction or something that I'd be giving up for life. It was just a personal challenge, I'd given it a go, and then I was back to PMO again. But those experiences were months and years apart. This time around, since I've made a concerted effort to give up PMO for good, I've had no relapses, and this list is what has helped me see it through. Hope it helps you guys too.
Click to expand...
Love your post.  Very Wise, Very beneficial.
 
mymensgroup717

mymensgroup717

Member
Great tips! One other one that I'd suggest adding to the list is service work. I read an article recently (http://www.mymensgroup.net/uploads/7/8/1/1/78111116/3_step_recovery_process.pdf) that really hit home for me. The article talked about recovery is a process of healing from compulsions and growing in our identity, for the purpose of serving others with similar struggles.

A great quote from the article on the service aspect of recovery:
"If one isn't careful, recovery can simply become another way to feed self-centeredness, much like addiction does. The focus in the early stages is very self-focused, working to close the gaping wounds of lust, pride, childhood trauma, and more. This self-focus is healthy and necessary at this stage, but it is only the beginning of the journey. If one gets stuck in healing, they never fully break free to the joys of serving. If you want to experience the deepest riches of recovery, don't get stuck in healing. Work hard to grow in grace so that you can serve others..."

This is written from a Christian perspective, so if your views don't align with that perspective perhaps you won't find it as helpful, but for me I really resonated with what the author was sharing.
 
C

Chip

Guest
TesNik said:
Thank you man

Why do you think cold showers are so important?
Click to expand...
Well if you've ever taken a cold shower then you know they have an effect that can temporarily help with sensation in the genitals.  If you get an unwanted erection, a cold shower will send it packing.  Cold showers also have an effect on whole body circulation.  Early on in the reboot your brain will pull all kind of tricks to get you to do what we're trying not to, including erections when you least need one and having a boner just gets you thinking about PMO'ing.  Cold showers can change things up, keep your body guessing and give you that little edge to maintain control.
 
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