A Fresh Flatline - SO ANNOYING!!

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
Hello,

It's just so bloody annoying that, when you're feeling that you're exiting a flatline, a new one suddenly comes up! Like earlier today, this happened to me:

I was waiting at the bus stop, a beautiful women who had her top half-way down her beautiful breasts, came and stood next to me. Obviously I was looking at her, and yes, I felt a little erection there. It felt good. So, I get  my phone out and see if she is on Tinder (bad idea it turned out!). Now, when I use Tinder, I scroll right all the time (to see who 'likes' me) without even looking at the pics (to avoid the effects of artificial sexual stimuli). 

Unfortunately, on this occasion, for a second or so, my gaze turned towards the phone as I was scrolling right and saw a few pics of nice looking girls. Suddenly.... BOOOOPH! I felt a little bit of a dopamine in my head... (because I thought I had a match, which turned out to be one of those annoying adverts, but nonetheless, I believe my brain processed it as a match with a girl!).

Anyway, after that moment, my perception suddenly felt passive and numb. Throughout the day, I even nearly bumped into people quite a few times. My mind was simply not processing the external stimuli. The real sexual stimuli became none responsive. Only earlier in the day I was somewhat turned on by that woman at the bus stop.

What on earth is happening? Can the flatline simply occur during the day? (because I assumed it's a thing that occurs the day after the dopamine inducing activity. Something like that.)



 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
And since then I've just been feeling so down. The day started positively and I was intending to enjoy a little bit of sunshine and being out and about socially. (Though not with anyone in particular.)

But now, I'm feeling like shit, ever since that Tinder moment.

I'm just fucking so angry with myself right now, even though the reboot overall is going well (No PMO since August 2017 and no MO since November 2017.), every now and then I do something stupid that makes me feel down and that my progress is regressing.

I just want one sign that I'm healing, but so far it's nothing, nothing, nothing.
 
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