Do you 'shake' and does your heart beat faster just before a relapse?

Aussie_Rebooter

Aussie_Rebooter

Member
I haven't had shaking hands,although i get the faster heart rate all the time.Porn excites me so much,i get a huge rush when i start fapping,sometimes i even feel like a fuzzy sensation in my head....it's hard to describe really - almost as if i can feel the dopamine flooding my brain! - this probably sounds heaps weird,but i can compare it to being on MDMA (ecstasy),it's not the same as being on XTC,it's not as strong a feeling - but i really get what you mean about the sense of euphoria...and that's where the issue for me lies.I use it as an escape,so it's not just the "urge" to PMO - when shit goes wrong,i know i can sit at my computer desk and literally lose myself for 10 hours.I don't know about the rest of you,but i don't just mindlessly "fap"...what i mean by that is - i have a very good imagination,so i picture myself in the scene i'm watching - i completely lose myself...it's like a negative-meditative state basically.It really is like a drug for me.

It's crazy how fucked up this addiction can be.

Anyway good luck with your reboot/recovery mate!
 
T

Triptonicmaph

Active Member
Man I feel you. I too feel the "dopamine flooding my brain feeling". Everytime. I specially started noticng this after starting to relapse after going for a long time without pmo.

Man we are really really addicted to this shit.
 
chiefmitch88

chiefmitch88

Active Member
When I first began looking at P magazines I had borrowed from my brother during my teenage years I would experience this same physical reaction. When I was lucky enough to have the house to myself I would sneak up to my room with the newest issue and begin to shake uncontrollably. I noticed that the reaction was greater if it was a mag I had never looked at before. The ones I had already looked at would elicit a lesser response. By the time we got the internet I think most of those physical manifestations of excitement had worn off. However, the first time I hoped to engage in sex I experienced this same response when it was first initiated even though my PA and PIED prevented me from actually losing the v-card. I even remember her asking me if I was OK because my body was trembling so strongly.
 
S

SebUK

Active Member
It would be interesting to know if people who have recovered, i.e. who have gone 90 days plus without a relapse, but *then* had a relapse still got this physiological reaction. The point being, does this horrible weird side effect go away?

I have:
- taken E a few times
- smoked weed a much smaller number of times
- drunk regularly for most of my life
- drunk coffee for most of my life

These are all drugs, but none of them come close to having the physiological impact porn does. Even E, which is intense, does not give me the same rush. That is f*cked! It just shows what years and years of conditioning to erotic stimuli can do. Argh...
 
Aussie_Rebooter

Aussie_Rebooter

Member
I went 94 days no porn,masturbation,orgasm or sex - and when i relapsed i still had the same rush.

#90 days is not some magical number - i suspect i'll take way longer than that to recover - and just like any addict,your not ever "fully" recovered - in the sense that we're always one relapse away from falling back into the addiction.

The thing with porn is,from what we know so far there's no permanent damage done in the brain,it doesn't kill brain cells like MDMA,alcohol & other drugs - who knows what will come out of the woodwork in years to come though.

I smoked a tonne of weed when i was younger,used to rave and drop pills a bit to - no drug has ever given me the same effect porn does,escapism - totally losing myself/forgetting about shit etc.
 
D

DeltaFosAware

Active Member
You are so right about the uniqueness of Porn. I have no idea why it works the way it does in the respect that you'd actually value it over real sex. I watched a film called The Pornographer last night and that really dealt with this subject. It was a well written drama and confronted the whole issue of how porn exploits, extorts and damages all those involved at one level or another. The film totally hit on the head the way our 'drug of choice' de-humanises both us and users and those who feed our habit.
 
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