KEVIN GESORA
New Member
Starting this off is one the hardest things for me to put down but from the success of others it keeps me on track and the desire to get better. For me this journey about P started way back when i was 13-14.
Before getting into depth i will introduce myself. I am Kevin Gesora, a proud Kenyan citizen, 20 years of age. I am a student in the university pursuing mechanical engineering. My desire is to be a better person and to better and mentor others. In addition i would like to achieve my fullest potential ie my brain capacity to come up with better ideas to solve various problems. I am also God fearing person and with great urge to grow in matters of spirituality. The main issue that has really got me concerned is my failure to realize my hobby which i think has been taken over by P. All in all i have high hopes that by the end of this learning and recovery process i will be able to achieve all my desire and set targets.
To get back on track on my journey that we had started for sure i brings back memories as if they occurred yesterday. My past has not been the best but still i have grown to accept it all whenever it comes. I have grown up without a father but my grandfather(RIP) took up the role though i can say he did his best but not my expectation since i failed to learn a lot more as i expected. My mother since her separation has not been of sound mind so also my grandmother took up the role actively. Thanks to her. i attended a public primary school where i met with all manner of character from my fellow pupils. My turning point from this innocent boy was when i got into a sexual encounter with my fellow classmate. He was of the same gender as i and what we did was having some oral S moment. As for me i did not understand anything during that moment, maybe for him he understood since he is the one who lured me to do it on him. But i can say that really wired my life not for something good because from then i began the desire to want to know more on it. By then i was merely between 8-10 years.
When i was in my teens with the advent of high speed internet in our country i begin to looking for online searches on sex, same sex content and P. Then one morning i got a wood and realize some clear stuff coming from my man, little did i know it was semen. i began hold it and stroke it, it felt so good until i has a MO. It was the first and i realized the highest form of pleasure-orgasm. From then on I started to engaged in the searching of P always even in cyber cafes where i would watch until i MO. I would barely go a week without watching and MO'ing. I grew up engaging in it until it became part of me.
After high school i got a GF, then a moment come for us to have S, I could not sustain it and i never lasted even a minute. i was really embarrassed and my GF really cried. After a while of abstaining from P and MO'ing i thought i had gotten better. We tried a second time but i couldn't last. After that my GF started to suspect me that i was cheating on her which lead to our breaking up. After a while i got my second girlfriend whom for sure i can say has been a stepping stone for me. We engaged in S and the outcome was still the same. I once got an opportunity to meet with an online group which assisted me to realize the course of my problem. After that i gathered courage and went ahead and revealed my state to my GF was very understand. Though she has doubts of my recovery she still has high hopes of my full recovery.
In as much as i had found hope from my girlfriend sometimes i always failed to uphold my promise of abstaining from MO and PMO. But my hope now lies on this journey that i have started. I really believe and pray that i find a substitute of porn which is positive esp a hobby and recover from my PIED.
THANK YOU. GOD BLESS YOU.
Before getting into depth i will introduce myself. I am Kevin Gesora, a proud Kenyan citizen, 20 years of age. I am a student in the university pursuing mechanical engineering. My desire is to be a better person and to better and mentor others. In addition i would like to achieve my fullest potential ie my brain capacity to come up with better ideas to solve various problems. I am also God fearing person and with great urge to grow in matters of spirituality. The main issue that has really got me concerned is my failure to realize my hobby which i think has been taken over by P. All in all i have high hopes that by the end of this learning and recovery process i will be able to achieve all my desire and set targets.
To get back on track on my journey that we had started for sure i brings back memories as if they occurred yesterday. My past has not been the best but still i have grown to accept it all whenever it comes. I have grown up without a father but my grandfather(RIP) took up the role though i can say he did his best but not my expectation since i failed to learn a lot more as i expected. My mother since her separation has not been of sound mind so also my grandmother took up the role actively. Thanks to her. i attended a public primary school where i met with all manner of character from my fellow pupils. My turning point from this innocent boy was when i got into a sexual encounter with my fellow classmate. He was of the same gender as i and what we did was having some oral S moment. As for me i did not understand anything during that moment, maybe for him he understood since he is the one who lured me to do it on him. But i can say that really wired my life not for something good because from then i began the desire to want to know more on it. By then i was merely between 8-10 years.
When i was in my teens with the advent of high speed internet in our country i begin to looking for online searches on sex, same sex content and P. Then one morning i got a wood and realize some clear stuff coming from my man, little did i know it was semen. i began hold it and stroke it, it felt so good until i has a MO. It was the first and i realized the highest form of pleasure-orgasm. From then on I started to engaged in the searching of P always even in cyber cafes where i would watch until i MO. I would barely go a week without watching and MO'ing. I grew up engaging in it until it became part of me.
After high school i got a GF, then a moment come for us to have S, I could not sustain it and i never lasted even a minute. i was really embarrassed and my GF really cried. After a while of abstaining from P and MO'ing i thought i had gotten better. We tried a second time but i couldn't last. After that my GF started to suspect me that i was cheating on her which lead to our breaking up. After a while i got my second girlfriend whom for sure i can say has been a stepping stone for me. We engaged in S and the outcome was still the same. I once got an opportunity to meet with an online group which assisted me to realize the course of my problem. After that i gathered courage and went ahead and revealed my state to my GF was very understand. Though she has doubts of my recovery she still has high hopes of my full recovery.
In as much as i had found hope from my girlfriend sometimes i always failed to uphold my promise of abstaining from MO and PMO. But my hope now lies on this journey that i have started. I really believe and pray that i find a substitute of porn which is positive esp a hobby and recover from my PIED.
THANK YOU. GOD BLESS YOU.